by minimus 46 Replies latest jw friends
It is sad that the WTS must make everyone feel unworthy.
People should be made to feel good and be encouraged, and work on having a great self esteem. Too many people want to take that away, and the organization does not help.
I would much rather be around those that bring you up, make you feel better. An encourageing word will go a long way. And when you give out compliments, you can't help but feel a bit better yourself. What a win / win.
Life is something we should all enjoy with gusto!
Absolutely, Minimus! Every single minute is precious. I am slowly starting to appreciate my worth, and a great deal of it is due to all of you on this forum. And I don't mean that my self worth is entirely measured by other people's opinions, but we are social animals, after all, and to have the approval of a group can be very encouraging. After being on this forum for almost a year, I am a lot more comfortable expressing myself boldly without worrying what other people will think, and therefore I am more comfortable with who I am.
Still need to work out the middle-aged body, though. Oh well, I'll go have a glass of wine and think about THAT tomorrow!
Nina
If you're new here, please feel free to express how you're doing right now in your life. If you feel that you need more support, this forum is an excellent way of getting back to normalcy. Everyone here is at a different phase in their life. Even some that have been out for years, appreciate that they need to talk amongst friends.....For those that are lurkers, share a post with us. It's good therapy.
I am absolutely beginning to see that I have some inherent worth. Because I'm me, not because I give cars to rich Witnesses....lol
Rosemarie
Many times we feel that our value to God is dependent on WHAT we DO. If we don't do enough, we feel less than dirt. If we miss some meetings or service, we are labeled as "weak". Even if we were regular pioneers, we might have felt not so good about ourselves. If we do anything in life that is actually unattainable, we will never be joyful. Having the theocratic carrot dangling in our face at all times is just plain mean. It's refreshing to know that we don't have to please the Watchtower to get true happiness.
Minimus, I would definitely agree with your posts on this thread. The measure of who and what we were by jw standards was all about hours, meeting attendance, etc. If a brother is "reaching out", his qualifications are based on not the good man that he may be, but the number of hours he spends in service.
If a brother is "reaching out", his qualifications are based on not the good man that he may be, but the number of hours he spends in service
If we miss some meetings or service, we are labeled as "weak
It was a struggle when "in" to try to explain to those who thought that I did not do enough in the way of field service why I felt that my family of eight children was my territory. I saw my role as provider and mentor of those young minds as my top priority. I was labeled weak for years. But who did the brothers come to when they needed help with errands or odd jobs? My children as they reached adulthood were capable and willing to help those ungrateful @#%%^. My children were labeled weak also because they did not spend every waking hour slaving for the Master race GB.
I knew I was worthwhile and so were my kids. But it was like swimming up stream. What a chore. Now I am kicked back and floating with the current. I can feel good about myself without the guilt. It is soooooo good to be free!!!
Loris
I am seeing posts by different ones here that show that their is clearly improvement on the positive side as to feeling better about oneself. Lately, I notice less negativity on the board and more of a resolve to carry on in life and become happy.
Actually, it's gotten a bit harder to appreciate myself. I think the problem is that, as JWs, you exalt yourselves above all 'worldly' people, and in your mind, you think you are chosen, greater than the rest.
After leaving the JWs, with all of the emotional baggage that comes from leaving a high-control sect, I find it hard to touch on my own personal worth. The JWs debilitated me in that area. It's one of the toughest things for me to overcome. A sense of complete worthlessness, knowing that you are one ant on an enormous anthill, in the middle of a vast plain.
We'll see how it goes in the next few years.
ash
ashi, I always thought of you as one who's pretty sure of yourself. You seem much older than you are. You just have to adjust to being a regular guy.
