by minimus 46 Replies latest jw friends
I have a daily struggle with self confidence and self worth. I think Ashi is right to an extent. We go from feeling special and protected to being on our own and without the mental toughness that most develop through competitive sports, etc.
I keep telling myself that I am okay. Maybe one day I'll hear it and believe it.
You just have to adjust to being a regular guy.
I know. It's been five years, and I don't miss the old life, I don't miss my old 'friends', but I think I'm still licking my wounds a bit.
You seem much older than you are.
I sound older than 23 years old? Fantastic. I like to keep people guessing.
I always thought of you as one who's pretty sure of yourself.
I am always pretty sure of my decisions, I just don't feel like I'm making a difference. I have so much to work on as a person. Self-preservation was my God for so long, that breaking the cycle and definitively starting to live is the real hard part.
Joel,
I keep telling myself that I am okay. Maybe one day I'll hear it and believe it.
I hear ya, bro.
ash
I can't say I'm a paragon of self-esteem, but I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world, and she's always telling me how great I am. That helps a lot. Besides that, I'm able to pursue the goals I want in life, not what the organization (or my ex-wife) thinks I should.
Overall, I appreciate my own worth a lot more than I used to as a JW. No more need for Zoloft, either.
No more zoloft, huh? That should show you that the organization burdens people unnecessarily. Just leave it and you'll probably start feeling better!
No more zoloft, huh? That should show you that the organization burdens people unnecessarily. Just leave it and you'll probably start feeling better!
Worked for me, min! I was on the stuff (or similar chemicals) for almost 15 years. As soon as I abandoned the Watchtower (and my ex-wife moved out), I felt no need for it at all anymore. Been off for just over 2 years now.
That's amazing! How wondeful it is when a person can be able to stop taking drugs simply because they leave this religion. I'm sure that not everyone would be able to make this comment because of other factors affecting them but that's still great news!
Do You Now Appreciate Your Worth Since You Are Out Of The Organization?
Answer: Yes. --Kinda always have......
Within the bounds of reason, I believe people at face value. I also say: TRUST, BUT VERIFY. It is good reasoning and provides the best value for your own peace of mind and safety.
Mr. Kim, everytime I read your sage comments, I seem to have to reread them over and over again.......So what are you saying about your worth outside of the organization???
Minimus,
Hello. Hope all is well and healthy. Kinda gets you to thinking does it not?
A person's worth is what is inside of them and the brightness of the inner light.
The Borg Org shields this light and dims the very love of God by Man's thinking and control.
KIM
funny this came up tonight when I am feeling particularly sorry for myself...I can't bear the fact that I got sick and have to start all over again. I know it wasn't my fault that I got sick, but I feel like an idiot nevertheless.
WTS aside, too much emphasis is put on what one does for a living, at least here in this part of the US. I am just a stupid consumer rep for a stupid product....while I never felt proud of what I did (office management, exec assistant...hated every minute of it, hurman resource specialist wasn't so bad, though)...I really can't admit to anyone that I've sunk down so low. True, just 10 months ago, I was making Big Macs - hell, one year ago, I was so sick I couldn't leave the apt., but I wish my own opinion of myself weren't so inextricably bound to what I do for a semi-living. As far as the WTS, yes, I felt guilty if I was not pioneering.
Gee. So much to work on.....and much time lost worrying about why Jehovah doesn't love me.
Rosemarie
