Lunch today with.. JW step father.... (page 2)

raven

FLIPPER- I appreciate your input! You always are able to give me great advice.. I will tread lightly, like I had mentioned, I won't be surprised if he brings up any JW topics.. But like you had suggested, I'll wade around it. Just need to stick to not giving out information.. Generic subjects should do best here. Fingers crossed.

The Searcher

I don't know what made me think of the old saying, "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts." Cautious & innocent also spring to mind. Have a nice lunch and a lighthearted conversation.

jookbeard

look forward to the report back

raven

UPDATE-

I just got back from lunch with step father.. I have to say, all of my speculations, paranoia ideas were put to rest.. We talked about generic topics, weather, work, cars, family etc.. He did try to drop a couple of JW points in there, he told me that two people I knew got reinstated.. He also said during our subject of cars, that he wants to trade in his car for a bigger one so that he can always use it for service. I was friendly about it, but I didn't ask questions. Anyways, so it went well, maybe more lunch meet ups in the future?

OrphanCrow

raven: Anyways, so it went well, maybe more lunch meet ups in the future?

Of course it went well. Grooming is like that. Nice, nice...a little bit of JW stuff here and there...not too much the first time. Nice...nice...a little bit more...groom, groom, groom.

I am glad your lunch went well. But don't be surprised when he starts to up the pressure. That is when the grooming will stop.

Yes, I am cynical. It comes from having over 40 years experience dealing with the niceness of JW relatives. It only lasts so long...long enough for them to assuage their guilt about not being nice. Then, when you say no or resist their religious overtures...they can feel better. "See? It isn't me. I tried to be nice. It's them - those damn apostates"

Funchback

I remember when I was newly inactive. My brother wanted to get together for lunch. I set up the expectations beforehand that this was merely a lunch between to flesh-and-blood brothers. I made it clear that JW stuff was off the table.

The lunch was totally normal: eating, talking about regular stuff. Then, as we were closing out the bill, he hit me with JW questions: Do you plan on coming back? I cut him off and told him we had a deal.

Anyway, raven, there's almost always an angle with JWs and it ultimately will lead to something like, "Do you still believe it's God's organization?"

raven

OrphanCrow, you make a good point.. I suspect he may try to drop JW info in our conversations if we do end up meeting for lunch again sometime. But I don't ask any questions back about that subject, nor do I really acknowledge it.. I just nodded, and said "that's nice".. But, coming from someone such as yourself who has over 40 years of experience with this, I am sure you have had encounters with JW's since leaving.. How do you handle it?

OrphanCrow

raven: I am sure you have had encounters with JW's since leaving.. How do you handle it?

Well. That depends.

It depends on my mood, who the JWs are, how old they are, if they have kids with them, if I am related to them, if it is raining, or if it is snowing. Or if I need new material for an art project. Lol!

I am afraid that my responses to the JWs have varied from inviting them in for a chat and tea to screaming like a banshee at them. I think I have responded in almost every way possible - except physical altercation. I have never punched them

It just depends :)

I was rather proud of myself once. I had a woman from my childhood congregation call on me and I told her that when I had left the JWs at 13 years of age, that I pretty much knew as much about the Bible as she did right now. And she agreed with me.

Then I said, "Well, after I left, I didn't stop studying the Bible. I read it for myself and I studied it from more than one church's perspective. And, when I went to university I studied it as well. From Jewish scholars. So, I am not going to engage in a Bible discussion with you because I like you and doing so would put you at a severe disadvantage. If you can ever come here and leave your Bible in the car, I would be happy to make a pot of tea and chat about how our lives have been - talk about our kids and stuff. But, you can't do that, can you?" She admitted that she couldn't do that and she left. But, every time we ran into each other around town, we would smile and say hello.

How will I handle it next time? I have no clue. It will depend on the weather and if I am in a good mood or not.

scratchme1010

I just got back from lunch with step father.. I have to say, all of my speculations, paranoia ideas were put to rest.. We talked about generic topics, weather, work, cars, family etc.. He did try to drop a couple of JW points in there, he told me that two people I knew got reinstated.. He also said during our subject of cars, that he wants to trade in his car for a bigger one so that he can always use it for service. I was friendly about it, but I didn't ask questions. Anyways, so it went well, maybe more lunch meet ups in the future?

Good to hear that you didn't feel uncomfortable. Maybe I too am paranoid, but I sort of smell a hidden agenda here. The JW thing here and there may have been him testing the waters to see how receptive you are to their nonsense. Brainwashed doesn't mean stupid. Chances are he knows that he cannot come full throttle with the JW nonsense to you, but he may want to get a sense of what to expect if he tries to talk JW trash.

Glad that it didn't bother you, but I'd still be vigilant in the next lunch. I hope to be wrong.

OnTheWayOut

Thanks for sharing your story. So glad it wasn't a bad experience.

Lunch today with.. JW step father....

Share this