Limericks, anyone?

by cruzanheart 18 Replies latest social humour

  • COMF
    COMF

    From your limerick I got such a tickle!
    Now I'll tell you about my old pickle.
    As I peed in the snow
    I felt winter winds blow
    And my penis froze like an icicle.

    To my sweet wife I cried out in awe,
    For I looked down, and, guess what I saw?
    'Twas my once floppy dick,
    Now as hard as a brick,
    And I cried out, "Come look at this, maw!"

    On her face I could see her surprise;
    Seems she could not believe her own eyes,
    For my shriveled old cock
    Had froze firm as a rock,
    And in fact was three times normal size.

    So she yelled, "You get into this house"
    As she tore off her skirt and her blouse.
    Though the weather was frightful,
    Our day was delightful,
    For that day I cold-cocked my spouse!

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A hot-blooded Witness named Coralee
    Said, "I like to have brothers immorally;
    On top and on bottom,
    Any way that I've got 'em,
    Anally, vaginally, orally."

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence

    they claim their prophesies proven

    so certainly it would behoove 'em

    to get a date right

    and yet they cant quite

    so they simply continue to move 'em.

    jackie ;)

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence

    the evilness of the red beast

    (which was really the UN when fleeced)

    was taught even though

    they were an NGO

    so, of course, this "truth" must now be ceased.

    jackie <--- loves silly limericks.

  • Mac
    Mac

    There once was a socio named Richard

    Who constantly wanted his bitch heard

    And he'll cry till the end

    Don't you make her yer friend

    Pathetically trying to dis her

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    Quick to be callous and cruel

    Yet sounding like ever the fool

    This man they call Farkel

    Has a mind without sparkle

    Why do you think he is cool?*

    ~~~~~~~~~

    For a moment I’d like to be Franc

    To do so my mind must be blank

    But in order to think

    My brain, it must shrink

    Then maybe I’d be such a wank

    --------

    *This is meant as a joke.

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    There once was a god named Jehovah,

    Who once overuled ol' Nova Scotia,

    When it started to rain,

    People all went insane,

    Baptizing themselves in ambrosia.

  • ColdRedRain
    ColdRedRain

    There once was a man named Jarc Who did not disfelllowship the sharks That harmed the kids in the worst way and then said Jehovah would take care of it some day And that's why I hate Jarc -------------------------- There once was a teaching called "Generations" That the false prophets taught to all the nations. When the generation was old, The rank and file were told There were no such thing as Generations.

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    Searching the net for Jehovahs Witness jokes I found this...

    A Jehovah's Witness called at a man's front door. They chatted for
    a while and the man asked the Jehovah's Witness why the Bible did
    not mention the dinosaurs. The Jehovah's Witness took offence at
    this comment and punched the man. The man retaliated and
    totally floored the Jehovah's Witness, and then said "I hope Jehovah
    witnessed that !".

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    There once was a JW girl from France..

    Who thought she'd take a chance...

    Not all her sisters are aunts!

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