me and my new girlfriend

justthenorm

I need help!!!!! you see ive started dating this girl and her family is of strong jehova belief. Now i am not i do see certain things in there studie that is true in my opinion but ive never really been a religion type of person. i think i want to marry her but i am not a jehovas witness and am not looking to be anytime at all she says that is ok and we can still get married but i dont know how its possible or where we would even do it please i need advice

wizzstick

i am not a jehovas witness and am not looking to be anytime at all she says that is ok and we can still get married

Welcome!

The above won't work out. She might be saying that now, but once you're married then that will change. You'll get pressured into becoming a Jehovah's Witness.

What about blood transfusions? Do you know if you are a Jehovah's Witness and have a major accident you are not allowed blood transfusions? Or that your wife will refuse them and would rather die?

Go to JW Facts to learn more about this cult.

Your instincts are you telling you something is wrong. Listen to them!

justthenorm

she says her church would excommunicate her or something like that and she says she does not care she loves me but im afraid of the fact how wiill we get married

runForever

Hello justthenorm... well... welcome to the fold. How strong willed are you? If you're strong willed they can use that to their advantage. Weak willed as well. Here is the problem and solution. If you are attached to this person but able to resist their pull you will slowly be torn in half as you watch her float farther and farther away. But this depends on how 'in' she is. She has to be pretty out for this to work. If she's baptized you must note that but it doesn't necessarily mean she is committed although generally speaking the chances are higher. You must carefully way the sum total of all factors. Imagine it like a planet- if you add it all up(baptism, family devotion level, personality, practical situation(geography, mobility etc..)) and the planet is too big the gravity will be too great for this to leave the planet. So you must consider every factor and carefully weigh if the gravity will be too great which it could be. Tricky situation but it is doable.

RF

Village Idiot

Welcome justthenorm. Sorry if this seems harsh but my recommendation is that you stay away from her unless she drops out of the religion entirely. Even if she were to do that there is always the chance that she might leave for a period of time but then go back to it. You do not want to be married to a JW regardless of how you feel about her.

If you're still going to pursue her then learn as much as you can about the religion. That could take a few months but it's definitely worthwhile and helpful.

Gayle

See if she will read everything on jwfacts.com & see her response. Also. Have her read 'Crisis of Conscience' by Ray Franz to see her response. You need to knowledge up on the real truth of JW 'truth.'.

wizzstick

she says her church would excommunicate her or something like that and she says she does not care she loves me but im afraid of the fact how wiill we get married

You're right. The pressure will pile up when you get married.

Ask her to live you you before marriage. If she will live with you then that might be a good sign, you can keep reminding her how you won't become a JW until hopefully she stops.

But if she won't live with you, then she is committed JW. She will pressure you once you are married.

Witness My Fury

Don't.

Ever.

Marry.

Or.

Fall.

For.

A.

JW.

Or ...an EXJW who still believes in it, as they may later return.

You are in for a whole heap of problems if you do.

John Free

My sister married a man from outside the group years ago, she ran away from home in order to do it as she was still just 19, but in love. Unfortunately the love blinded them both to practicalities. He was a really clever man so perhaps he thought he could guide her out of the cult, it should be easy right? It isn't just difficult its near impossible for an outsider to deprogram a cult member. Then there were the practicalities, she would't go to a Christmas dinner with him to his parents house, she wouldn't celebrate his birthday, valentines day, Easter, independents day, guy Fawkes, new years eve celebrations...the list goes on! Then they had a baby together. Can you imagine his frustrations as his child was being groomed by a cult? As he was becoming isolated in his classroom as he was so different to the other kids. Eventually after years of a troubled marriage they divorced. Years later he had to see his son decline a university education so that he could spend most of his time knocking on doors.

Update: what village says is true too! My sister left the religion for a short period when she got married, but this was due to the guilt of breaking a rule and marrying a 'worldly' person, she was not deprogrammed so in time she returned.

Good suggestion above though, what will her reaction to JWfacts website be like? Can she be deprogrammed or will her cult barriers go up, will she demonstrate that she is under information control by saying such things as 'I don't want to read this site! People lie about our religion!' You have to base your decision on her reactions.

joe134cd

Run for the hills and thank your lucky stars you never got involved.

me and my new girlfriend

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