Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho 56 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  AllTimeJeff

  jp1692, thanks.

  Ironically, I am a grown up now, mostly. Mature. Embracing me and not really caring if others don't embrace me.
  

  Btw, not caring what others think of you doesn't mean you don't care about them. It just means that total strangers on up to our parents, after a certain point, shouldn't control what YOU think of YOU.

  I look at some of my old posts here, and I am glad they helped others. I wanted that. I felt guilty that I was ever an elder and a missionary in this horrible sickness of a cult. I no longer carry that. I was a born in, and at least when I woke up, I left. I didn't linger. I left EVERYTHING and started over. Of that I am proud.

  My legacy is to be happy. Because the Governing Body propagates that if you leave, you're a miserable, demon infested maggot, who also drinks boxed wine. (they don't drink boxed wine at Bethel ;) )

  On her deathbed, my mom told me to "be happy". Didn't realize that was such a b*tch to figure out. But, I am glad she pointed me in the right direction. Because if all exiting JW's here on this forum can be at peace with whom they are, forgive themselves and the past, and enjoy and appreciate the life they have, we will have truly conquered the legacy of the cult and the sick leaders of it that we have left behind.
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  GrreatTeacher

  WakeMe, I hope that you wrote that for a college class. I'd give it an "A."

  So insightful and synthesizes new learning in analyzing a personal transformative experience.

  It's wonderful to read something with length, and depth, and substance.

  It seems that many of us have made use of counseling and mental health help upon our exit.

  For us all, the "nurture" we got was unhelpful to say the least. Those of us, like yourself, with tenacious and fighting "natures" have been able to survive our exits and even go on to thrive.

  And you have! And for what it's worth from an internet stranger, I'm proud of you!

  Also, if you ever want to talk about Erikson's last stage of psychosocial development (ego integrity vs. despair) and how this could shed light on an aging Witness's psychology and likelihood of waking up, please hit me up. Trying to make sense of aging relatives' experiences.

  GT
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  Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

  @AllTimeJeff: "Let me repeat that last part on shame, because it IS important if you are reading this: Shame is a HUGE tool, a control tool, of the Governing Body. Ashamed of your thoughts and opinions. Ashamed you had an original thought at all. Ashamed that you have a dream, a talent you know you can express and give. Ashamed of your sexuality. Ashamed that you disagree. Yeah, shame. Take a breath, and dig in on that. You'll need to deal with it."

  Oooof. This. @GrreatTeacher, one just needs to glance over the second stage of Erikson's psychosocial theory to recognize where the development of an adult Jehovah's Witness is arrested. Since Watchtower has assumed the role of Witnesses' ultimate parental authority ("accept enlightening instructions from His motherly organization." - WT, 1 May 1957, p274), it has completely exacerbated the crisis between autonomy and shame/doubt on ADULTS.

  Erikson recognized that even at age two, children should be encouraged to be independent. Yet what kind of parent is Watchtower?

  "We are glad to forsake the independent thinking patterns of the world." - WT, 15 August 1988, p30.

  I can recall a more recent instance in the "apostate-driven lies" speech Lett made on JW Broadcasting. There, he reminded Witnesses to "pursue oneness, even it means foregoing personal rights," which includes one's right to decide on even their personal apparel and hairstyle.

  So rather than bestowing Witnesses with the virtue of will and autonomy, Watchtower instills precisely what @AllTimeJeff captured in a single paragraph: SHAME. Being overly criticized and dressing it up as "counsel" renders the Witnesses as inadequate, fuelling their low self esteem, doubt in their own abilities and an overdependence on their "motherly organization". And that's exactly where Watchtower needs us to be. Old infants.

  I'm very interested to hear your take on Erikson's ego integrity versus despair crisis when applying it to Witnesses who suddenly come to grips with their mortality!

  @j1692 Lol, it's Jennifer Garner from a scene in the 2005 film, Elektra. Here's another angle of the shot where Elektra absorbs sagacious words uttered by her martial arts master, Stick (Terence Stamp):

  
  
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  AllTimeJeff

  Couple of comments on this very interesting thread...

  Shame is something that isn't isolated to the JW experience. Many religions stigmatize behaviors that don't agree with their unique theology. We definitely live in more liberal religious times, so the fact that we can actually talk on an electronic forum about this is cool. But don't take that for granted. History is replete with the masses living in shame, or at least being smart enough to pretend to be ashamed so as to function in their very controlling environment.

  Eriksons last psychosocial tier, (ego integrity versus despair) is something I am going through with my Dad. He has once again cut me off, but I know that his is despair. He has lost everything, is all alone, and has sadly reached out to the cult at the end of his days that provide him the only semblance of association. However he chooses to judge himself, he must live the remainder of his days with the sad realization that he lost his youngest son, his wife, (my brother and mother) and has chosen to push me away. I have had to make the very real choice that he is no longer a healthy addition in any small amount to my life. For me to have ego integrity at the end of my life, I have to move on from him. Big, sad lesson. But I am willing to do it. Have to. He's made his bed and must lay in it now.
  
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  Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

  @AllTimeJeff It really is a big, sad lesson. Are both your mother and younger brother shunned by him for apostasy, also? I only ask to get an idea of the kind of character your father is. If he has cut them off for other reasons, then even from a Witness perspective - that may have to do more with him than the rest of you. He is the common denominator in this antisocial behavior.

  Whichever it is, I can't begin to imagine the feelings of despair, regret and resentment he must be internally harboring as he reflects over his life course during this final stage.

  I'm so sorry he wasn't the father you needed him to be, @AllTimeJeff.
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  AllTimeJeff

  Actually, my brother and mom have passed. Both were pretty sad situations in their own right. I wouldn't say my dad caused it, he just chose not to educate himself or deal with it, and now must live with those choices.
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  flipper

  WAKE ME- Extremely great thread ! Probably one of the best, if not THE best thread written all year on this board.

  I totally agree with you. WT Society tried to control and monitor EVERYTHING JW's did, experienced and thought 24 / 7. We were never allowed to develop critical thinking ability because it was stolen away from our brain's neurotransmitters, whereby those transmitters only transmitted JW & WT thoughts. And as has been mentioned it was through the use of fear and guilt that the WT Society was able to do this and keep us really like stunted emotional 8 year old's mentally in our lives in the cult.

  And you're right that in the real world and real life - nothing is easy. We need to use our minds in a critical thinking manner if we are to be successful and happiness comes to us once we take responsibility for our own actions and we gain our freedom of mind and movement back ourselves instead of being puppets or robots for the WT Society.

  Freedom of mind & movement is what I treasure the most now in my 15 years out of the JW cult. I'm really happy that I've pursued many interests I never would have been able to pursue trapped inside the JW cult. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  OnTheWayOut

  "Watchtower’s suppressive approach to the flock freezes their development to that of a helpless child, unaware that critical thinking even exists. It strips members of opportunities to solve their own problems under the guise of protecting them and dressing it up as “convenience”."
  
  So true. Instead of the equivalent of a college education, many JW's are homeschooled to protect them from "worldly" teens wanting sex, and they barely qualify to pass the high school equivalency test. They wind up introverted, but don't even know that because they can stand at a door and do a presentation in front of a stranger. (The animated Disney movie TWISTED can help ones see what that is like.) Even the ones who go to public schools are discouraged from anything beyond basic involvement and they avoid after-school athletics, music, dance, anything that makes them a more rounded person, and then are told that college is bad.
  
  JW's don't really have opinions. They are used to looking to their Watchtower library to see what they are supposed to think about issues.
  
  Many who leave Watchtower by way of inactivity suffer incredibly "in the world" because of their inability to think for themselves and a skewed sense of morality.
  
  
  
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  AllTimeJeff

  This..... So true OTWO

  JW's don't really have opinions. They are used to looking to their Watchtower library to see what they are supposed to think about issues.
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  OrphanCrow

  WakeMe, you are dead on with your conclusions about JWs being stunted and infantilized by the org. It is an upside down organization. Not only are the adults infantilized, the children are being "adultized".

  Think of how a JW child is made up to be a tiny adult - they are dressed in clothes that are adult in style, they are given adult tasks (save the householder from Satan!), they are put on boxes so they can reach the microphone to read Bible passages about adult things they don't understand (rape and bestiality) and then they are baptized while they are still children. And you end up with kids thinking they are all "grown up" when they are not. And they never will be.

  How can a JW distinguish between what is appropriate behavior for a child or adult when they are given such convoluted guidelines to follow?

  No wonder there is little concept about age appropriate behavior when the children are made into adults and the adults are made into children.