WE ALL CARE. HI MYSTER The facts are that he tried to get reinstated ,back into the organization that eventusly causes so many heartbreaks and so so much hate and hostility to members ,take satisfaction in the fact that he tried to come back to you ,but the local elders had a vendetta against him ,once a peron is repentant to god , not to man then he may apply for reinstatment,but someone somewhere stopped him being reinstated,as you say he loved you and due to circumstances he had to move onto another life with someone else,you must be happy for him and the fact that he had children with someone else ,if only you were stronger in yourself when you saw him at the gathering ,but you had to follow enpty rules and false reasonings from the organization,because you wouldnot speak to him in front of others he would understand the whys and wherfores ,he knew within himself he loved you and you him ,THIS SHUNNINGAs practised by all j.ws causes so much pain and heartache to most concerned but as you now know SHUNNING is not scriptual it is a man made requirment , You know need to take stock of your life and enjoy it with your husband the past is past,move on and allow your old thoughts to remain private but dont blame your new husband for past events ,your old love would want you to be happy ,NO he is not in hell,as being free opens your mind to the love of god,i will post another time how and why shunning is wrong but many on the board have had there eyes open to freedom , shunning is just one part of freedom to receive gods love, he wasnot punished by god for his former deeds ,as some may want you to think,move on with your life and move out of the organization ,by posting more on this board as jehovah god loves us all,by the way,(IN THE LAST DAYS A PEOPLE WILL BEAR MY NAME)THEY WILL SAY BUT LORD DID WE NOT PROPHESY IN YOUR NAME, I WILL SAY TO THEM GET AWAY FROM ME YOU WORKERS OF LAWLESNESS, WHOM IS USING GODS NAME,????? ( WHOM IS SEEN AS A WORKER OF LAWLESNESS ,) WHY NONE OTHER THAN (JEHOVAHS WITNESESS)LEAVE THEM MR NIGHTWARRIOR
Dead X-JW Who Cares
by Mystery 15 Replies latest jw friends
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nightwarrior
WE ALL CARE. HI MYSTER The facts are that he tried to get reinstated ,back into the organization that eventusly causes so many heartbreaks and so so much hate and hostility to members ,take satisfaction in the fact that he tried to come back to you ,but the local elders had a vendetta against him ,once a peron is repentant to god , not to man then he may apply for reinstatment,but someone somewhere stopped him being reinstated,as you say he loved you and due to circumstances he had to move onto another life with someone else,you must be happy for him and the fact that he had children with someone else ,if only you were stronger in yourself when you saw him at the gathering ,but you had to follow enpty rules and false reasonings from the organization,because you wouldnot speak to him in front of others he would understand the whys and wherfores ,he knew within himself he loved you and you him ,THIS SHUNNINGAs practised by all j.ws causes so much pain and heartache to most concerned but as you now know SHUNNING is not scriptual it is a man made requirment , You know need to take stock of your life and enjoy it with your husband the past is past,move on and allow your old thoughts to remain private but dont blame your new husband for past events ,your old love would want you to be happy ,NO he is not in hell,as being free opens your mind to the love of god,i will post another time how and why shunning is wrong but many on the board have had there eyes open to freedom , shunning is just one part of freedom to receive gods love, he wasnot punished by god for his former deeds ,as some may want you to think,move on with your life and move out of the organization ,by posting more on this board as jehovah god loves us all,by the way,(IN THE LAST DAYS A PEOPLE WILL BEAR MY NAME)THEY WILL SAY BUT LORD DID WE NOT PROPHESY IN YOUR NAME, I WILL SAY TO THEM GET AWAY FROM ME YOU WORKERS OF LAWLESNESS, WHOM IS USING GODS NAME,????? ( WHOM IS SEEN AS A WORKER OF LAWLESNESS ,) WHY NONE OTHER THAN (JEHOVAHS WITNESESS)LEAVE THEM MR NIGHTWARRIOR
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Mystery
I really appreciate everyone's word of hope and faith.
The quotes in my first post were quotes from his sisters. I was pretty upset and didn't make a whole lot of sense with my post at times.
I knew his first wife; she threatened me if I as ever seen talking to him. (I knew her family, I knew they were not idle threats.) So I didn't speak to him due to her, not because he was DF'd.
I found out they divorced, but never saw him again afterwards. Tho when I went to visit my family I would look for him when out running around.
I hope he settled things in his mind and heart, if he didn't I can't see him being a decon and saying things that were not in his heart. He was a very good man.
I may call his last wife, I may not I haven't fully decided yet.
My husband knew I was really upset about all of this, I became more upset about it after talking with his sisters becasue of the shunning they had given him for over the past 20 years. My husband gets upset that a religon (cult) can have so many firm belivers, so much that they distroy families. He is afraid, for me, that if I am ever officially DF'd how it will affect me with all of my family shunning me.
We had a nice dinner, our sons even went with us (them at home on a Sat. night at all, much less without friends is a very RARE occurance). We had a nice dinner. The boys went to bed early and we sat down and a few glasses of wine. Pretty good closing to a day that started off so bad.
I hear a lot of comments from wives/husbands about how wonderful their spouse is. I don't know what I would do without mine. He is my strength when I am falling apart.
Thank you for being here as well. Knowing "i'm not the only one" that feels like they are losing their mind due to upbringing has helped tremendously.
Thank you. -
nightwarrior
MYSTERY. Although he was shunned by certain people ,i guess that he found the power within himself to forgive them otherwise his life would hav been on hold ,he took back from the organization ,STRENGTH/COURAGE DIGNITY/FREEDOM OF SPEECH / He made a new life for himself he found a way back to god ,the j.w take your soul,they take freedom of speech and thought away from you , He is on the road to life he freed his mind,its the teachings of the j.w that lead many to there deaths,but they cant see all the false prophesys they pass out in gods name. His sisters allso have a lot to answer for allso,wanna know something even now they want feel guilty ,as they have been conditioned by the borg . Ringing his wife is not a thing to do ,let her grieve her husband in peace ,your only an old girlfriend as far as she is concerned ,sorry to be harsh but you know all you need to know and i am sure he knows how you feel,as you say you have a loving husband now you both need to stand by each other and try and forget the past but keep your memories.
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nowisee
dear mystery,
i just wanted to let you know how sorry i am for the loss of your friend. he was so young. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
with love, nowisee
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Mystery
I really want to thank everyone.
It was, very hard, hearing that he had died. I did love him very much, but I found my own life - away from the borg - as he did.
I guess it was just that "first love" thing that made me so emotional. Then the fact of reading CofC and this forum, and then hearing his sister's ACTUALLY SAY "we really haven't associated with him since he was DF'ed (24 yrs!!) but he knows that we love him...."
I haven't had any real "JW talks/preaching/opinions" in the past 20 years. My family does not bring up religion when i am around, more than likely due to the fact that if they did they would probably have to report me and then I would be DF'ed. So to actually HEAR ALL 3 (literal) sisters say that just tore me apart.
No - I have decided not to contact his widow. I know what kind of man he was. I know how much hurt he went thru when the JW's wouldn't "welcome him back" when he tried to get reinstated. Even his widow couldn't answer my questions anyway. Only he could. My main one would have been "are you completely free from JW beliefs?" And if he would have told me yes, I would have ask him to "guide me toward the right way; to show me which path to go down so that I can completely free myself". No - his widow couldn't give me those answers.
I can stop looking for him now. But.... still everytime I visit my family I am sure there will be something that will remind me of him. (we were from a very little town where everybody knew everybody) But hopefully the next time I go, I will cry, just a little but for the most part know that he now KNOWS the answer that I still wonder about. "where do we go from here?"
I will miss you very much Michael.
I know you are at peace.
Love,
Deborah