I am feeling so frustrated. guess we will have to wait to see till sunday..
our secret dating got caught...
by trueloveneverfails94 57 Replies latest social relationships
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silent
Keep this in mind: You are living as a prisoner of other people's thoughts. Back in the Isarelite/Hebrew days, when a young man fancied a woman, he took her home, shagged her, and the next day the families had a celebration. You made darn sure you loved the girl for all time, had sex, and you were married. There was none of all that other chaperone crap, paper work, marriage licenses, etc. So mankind has created all these secular rules about what is marriage and made it into a big legalistic hubbub. At any rate, if you live the life the WTBS wants you to live, you will be single for a LONG, LONG time - they want you to have the special gift of singleness and God will kill you if you masturbate. The sisters grow old and become old maids and end up being cat ladies with weirdly shaved eyebrows. The longer people are single, the more maladjusted they usually become.
The time to have a girl and get married is now because the longer you wait, the more baggage they will have - kids, someone else's screw-toy, riddled with everyone else's diseases, failed relationships, etc. Oh yeah, they will have a field day with you about not being baptized and talking about being unevenly yoked. Ask any of them to show you where in the Bible getting married without being baptized is a disfellowshipable offense? The worst they can do is ban you from having your wedding in the Hall. Big deal. Go have it at a park, mountain, or some really cool place. The Witnesses around here gave my wife and I the serious cold shoulder when we were dating and we were middle-aged!!! They completely ruined the happiness we could have had if we had found someone and gotten married sooner. Our wedding almost felt like a funeral in restrospect. Anyway, If you can't be trusted when your *ick is half limp and the raging hormones have left your body (when you're older), then there is something wrong with you. On a personal note, I would seriously suggest waiting to have sex after marriage - not because of purity issues and all that - just because it's worth waiting for someone you really love. It makes the relationship really strong. You can just shag around if you want, but a lot of people will tell you that in the end, it leaves you feeling rather empty - as if it just isn't as special anymore. Also, while you're busy screwing around, people are getting married, and one day you wake up and ALL THAT IS LEFT is sloppy seconds and thirds - with kids - with issues - and you're left wondering why you cashed in all your chips so early. At that point all you're left with is a limp shaft that doesn't work any more and you're still alone. Anyway, as a last resort, you can fight fire with fire and deny it. It takes 2 people to witness something and be considered true. Under the law, you've done nothing wrong. I concur though - do NOT get baptized just to be with her and at age 21, you're no longer a minor, so you do have to make a choice - do you want to live under their rules for the rest of your life or do you want to get on with it, start a life, and be happy? Jehovah wants you to be happy and get married to someone that your heart desires. One thing you will find out, when you want to even consider being with a member of the opposite sex in this religion, suddenly your life BECOMES EVERYONE'S BUSINESS and they will stop at no end to hang you, kick you out, and find fault with every single thing you do. They turn into ravenous spies, back biters, etc. because they just can't stand the thought that someone might commit a horrendous evil known as sex! The both of you better not be living with your parents because it's EVEN WORSE!
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brandnew
They might just tell you to keep your distance now. If you get baptized, then its a different story. You will end up in little meetings with three elders asking you VERY personal questions, and maybe even reproof, from the stage.
Why would you want that? No other man is going to tell me who, where, or how im going to act with my girl.😈
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trueloveneverfails94
Brandnew/ I am not baptized yet, but she is. is that what it is going to be happened? Any chance that I can be with her during the meeting? -
smiddy
You sound like you are very immature for a 21 year old who has not responded at all to posters who have given you good reason to see the red flags/ cult controlling/invasion of privacy /manipulative practices of a so called Christian religion , that has really been a front for a real estate / publishing empire .
smiddy
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Question_Mans_interpretation
Do not share any information about your relationship with any elders, other JWs or her parents, you dont need to. You guys are adults and the decision to date is YOURS alone! When they tell you not to see each other, stand firm and tell them they are out of line in telling you guys who you can and can't date. Ask to be treated as adults and for them to respect your choices! -
Dismissing servant
Nope....there is no chans that you can be with her during that meeting.
You have to do a lot of studying on the organisation and it's rules. I hope you will wake up....everything is micromanaged for JWs, not only holding hands at a coffeeshop.
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tornapart
You and your girlfriend are old enough to be married without anyone's permission. She does not need her parents permission. Why on earth would she need her parents permission to either see you or hold hands with you?
We had a couple in our congregation. They were in their 30's. She was a pioneer and he was studying (like you). They started dating. There was even a 'marking' talk from the platform about it. They were both sat in the audience while it was given. It made no difference, they carried on seeing each other. They didn't care what anyone else thought. They got married, he got baptised. They are still part of the congregation and nobody says anything anymore, they are just another couple.
Don't let anyone else push you around or make you feel bad. It's your life and her life, no one elses. Live it how you want. As adults you don't need anyone telling you how you should live it.
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Vidiot
You know something's fundamentally f**ked-up when two individuals of legal age who reciprocate each other's feelings are still apprehensive about being together for purely ideological reasons.
Many's the time I've wished I did things different when I was that age (but then, my kids probably wouldn't exist, so I'm conflicted).
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trueloveneverfails94
Hello all. Thanks for your comments, She has always told me that she will always stay in the truth and that she tries to follow all the rules of watchtower conduct, but the dating rules never seemed appealing to her. I am her first boyfriend and she truly believes that I was given one to her and Jehovah's response to her prayer for her spouse. We both have never got into a trouble at Kingdumb hall, so don't really know what's about to come to us and she is worried cause we have gone beyond the limits many times tbh. Due to two witness rule, I told her just deny it, but I know it is not going to work since we exchanged our names together and she knows which congregation I am going to now. I make things up well, so I am confident to get out of situations from elders, but my girlfriend is a raised JW and very delicate so we can't expect her to do the same. She is afraid of losing her family relationship and therefore wants to wait for me until I become baptized if that old lady speaks and her parents find out that we have been secretly dating behind their backs for awhile. I gladly don't have any friends,family,and relatives that are witnesses who are going to shun me. I have been taking my study and working towards baptism very seriously, but all suddenly this situation makes me question myself like "why jehovah would not allow two people to be together when they found something beautiful". I believe in Jehovah, but makes me question many watchtower doctrines that talk about dating rules. My girlfriend agreed with me on that two people need to spend time alone without chaperone to get to know each other better even though she was raised a JW. I don't care if I get kicked out of Kingdumb hall after all this pressures and shits that they have been giving to us because I have been living most of my life worldly and it has been only about on year that I started getting involved in JW life. But, my girlfriend is not and since she was raised as JW and she is typical JW girl who has very delicate mind and it just concerns me a lot that how her parents especially and her friends would all react because all her friends are mostly from congregation as well.