If a 12 yr old kid told their mom to fuck you and then slapped her, I’d remove every electronic device they use and call the cops and charge the kid with assault.... or throw away their stuff and see how they like that. ( I doubt I’d call the cops on my kid but you never know ).
Kids Without Rules
by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends
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smiddy3
The trouble today is, with Kids Without Rules is largely because kids are having kids, IMHO .
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minimus
Smiddy, that’s a good point . Plus they have no real experience but they THINK they do.
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smiddy3
Actually I did call the cops on my son many years ago .At the time he was living with us ,we had a seperate living area for him .He was going through a very tough time after his JW wife cheated on him with one of his JW "friends" some time before.
And he had gone off the rails a bit ,almost to the point of being habitually drunk ,and it was because he was well under the influence & decided he needed to get more booze ,I told him not to get in his ute to do so and he ignored me and drove off.
It broke my heart to do so but I called the cops because he could have killed himself or someone else in that condition
I had tears pouring out of my eye`s as I did so.Actually tears have appeared now as I type this yet it happened many, many years ago now.
His life has completely turned around for the better , non drinker married with two beautiful boys about 11 and 9 now & none of them have anything to do with religion.
Sorry to go off topic.mm
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millie210
I think one problem is that young people don't have to work anymore.
By young people, I mean every child out of diapers.
In a poor economic environment children work too - not just adults- out of necessity.
In a long ago world when people lived a more agrarian life, children had to help with laundry, feed livestock, hoe gardens, hunt, fish etc. They also had to take care of younger children and discipline them (thus reinforcing their own discipline and family standards).
In our more cultured world today children are in daycare, then pre K, then school (all peer-based influence or lateral learning excepting the teachers). Their parents are working jobs and everyone arrives home hungry and tired, not the best environment to pass on values and ideals (which forms the base for all balanced discipline).
It's just too easy to let them settle in front of electronic devices and social media while exhausted parents try to fix dinner, do laundry and prepare to get up and do it all over again.
The combination of no meaningful or important responsibilities, no vigorous physical activity combined with the negative impact of sitting and staring at a screen is not really a set up to help grow disciplined or balanced young people.
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DATA-DOG
My child was very well behaved. I think she was just a good person. She got some swats at the meetings ( I feel bad about it now ) because of the pressure to have a “spiritual child.”
I find most children annoying, except from a distance, and I have no tolerance for disrespectful children, or ignorant parents.
Aside from the JW pressure, my Ex and I were very balanced and let our child be herself. I spent as much time with her as I could, trying to give meaningful advice, some of which contradicted the GB many times.. mostly from me as I was learning the truth about the truth.
There’s a difference between children being silly just because their children, and children who are disrespectful. I don’t believe in the saying that children should be seen but not heard, but they should learn how to remain silent when someone else is talking.
Maybe part of the problem is that there is so much information available, but what do you do with it all? Having information is not the same as being wise. Now we have a bunch of intelligent, know it all children (gorging on the Internet) who believe they know better than the previous generation, but hasn’t it always been that way??
DD
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caves
Smiddy3-I had tears pouring out of my eye`s as I did so.Actually tears have appeared now as I type this yet it happened many, many years ago now.
I think for most parents the 'discipline' we give our children hurts us really bad. I do remember clearly the day I had to discipline my son for the first "real" time. I never had to spank him or get mean or loud. I came home from work and his mother was upset and said I needed to spank him for what he did that day. I didn't think a spanking was necessary( I was severely abused growing up and I felt that there had to be another way). So I just went to my sons room and told him, " (Son) , I am really disappointed with you right now. You hurt your mother today and that makes me very sad. Play in your room as long as you want because I really don't want to be around you right now if your going to behave like that. I am so hurt and so disappointed."
I had to leave the room really quick. He broke out into a massive whaling of tears. And little did he know that I went into my bedroom and buried my head in the pillow and cried like a baby. And that just hurt to type that, all these years later. I totally get it smiddy3, in my own way.
On a comical note, we quickly learned that counting to 3 did not work for us. We were young and it was like "Well, what happens when we reach 3. 1.2.3 then what?" Our son helped with that one. One day I started counting because he was doing something that we told him not to. (typical kid stuff) Anyway I said 1,,,,,, 2,,,,, and then so innocently my son said Threeeeee really loud .LOL ( he was learning numbers and just thought it was a game or something.) Me and his mother had to run to the bedroom with our hands over our mouths because we were laughing so hard and didn't want him to see us. I remember us laughing so hard that our belly's hurt.
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caves
millie210, I think one problem is that young people don't have to work anymore.
I wonder about that.
When I was growing up I had to get up a 4am to go feed the horses, thaw water troughs and clean stalls. Then shower, go to school, go back to work on the farm cleaning stalls, grooming, watering, stacking hay, horse exercising ect. Do homework, bath, meeting, (or study for it) eat and if I was lucky I might have had 15 mins of downtime before bed.
I got my first paying job at 8 years old mowing lawns. My first "real" job at 13 flipping burgers. I lied on the application about my age. I was already 6ft tall by 12 years old. So I looked young but towered over most in height, by then. Convincing enough to be hired.
I played with frogs, snakes, mud, Metal Tonka trucks(how I miss those tonka trucks) animals, and the horses. No phone, only books and My imagination.
Also in my case when I was little, when there was a big job like bailing hay. It was not at all uncommon to see all the kids out lifting bails of hay right along with the adults in the hot sun. We may have complained but I don't remember anyone one saying "I want to play my video game' or 'I want my phone.' My allowance was 25cents a week. ( yes, they were cheap). lol, at least I got that.
Most of us had rules as kids then and yes we bucked them, but we had them, and breaking them came with real consequences.
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minimus
Thank you for your comments on this balanced thread!👍👍