Depression & Isolation (page 2)

jhine

Sue , l am sorry to hear that you feel so depressed about life. I'm a never JW but like most on here l don't believe that going back will help .

You say that you can't talk to a counsellor because it would give a bad impression of the org . Doesn't that tell you all you need to know ? It means that the org IS bad .

Earlier l saw your post about other churches and found it hard to take in . I was going to be rather forthright in my reply. Reading your comments on here l realise that it wouldn't have been right.

I have been a member of my local church for many years ( Anglican, Church of England) . I truly think that if you had gone to other churches you would have found friends, non judgemental , loving friends .

We do study the Bible in home groups and our services aren't just about music and a couple of feel good verses .Though l think that you really need those right now.

You say that there is no real direction given ( I'm paraphrasing now )

That, l suspect, is the crux of the matter. You seem to miss the regimented approach of the WT . Like someone leaving the army who can't cope with not being told what to do .

Counselling will help with that , so l go back to my earlier point of giving a bad impression. Maybe you are scared of the impression that you will make on your self .

Please try it and embrace where it takes you . There are lots of Christians out there waiting to be your friends

Jan from Tam.

DesirousOfChange

I can't talk to anyone about this on the outside ( mental health counselor) because it could be a bad impression on the org plus they won't understand where I'm coming from anyway. ~ Sue

Yes you can. Half of our Cong were seeing therapists or counselors or psychiatrists. While WT used to disparage mental health treatment in the past, that is not necessarily the case now. Actually, I think perhaps YOU have a bad impression of seeking mental health treatment. Get past that. I credit my counselor with saving my life.

Usually returning to WT brings back all of your (conditional) friends, and I'm surprised that hasn't happened for you. Of course, WT wives can be jealous (or leery) of other single women. You really have to seek out other single women for "friends" and support.

It is a lot more difficult to develop real friendships (meaning outside of WT). It takes a lot of work, especially if you do not have something obvious in common (workmates, hobbies, etc). And voicing up that you are a JW with all their "weird" ideas on holidays and birthdays complicates it because that is when people socialize -- birthday parties, etc.

We have "faded" so we can have freer communication with JW family and (conditional) friends, but we have much better friends outside of the JW network. Just fewer that used to have in the Cong. because they don't (falsely) love bomb people.

Good luck!

The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

waytodawn

Why would you go back?
You noticed by yourself: Talking to them about your issues will isolate you even more.

Jehovahs witness consider them as happy people. Basically you might have done something wrong.... "do you not believe enough?"

I had some issues when I was a teenager. Basically I lost myself... I did not know who I was. But I knew I was not to tell anyone within "the truth" about my truth, because I didn't want to be labeled as "spiritual weak" (or a similar english expression) ...
Do you really think you need this pressure?

You need to surround yourself with people who like you for the person you are.

joey jojo

If you are serious about depression or loneliness my advice would be to go and see a psychologist and join gym classes. If you want to save money, just join the gym. You will feel better, make friends and join in social events.

ElderBerry

Yes lots of people say join a gym or something like that. There are sometimes groups online where people meet up for walks or excursions.

There is a need today for finding a social club of some kind, it’s essential for happiness.

Your congregation could fulfill this need if you don’t have something better. On the one hand I am pretending I believe what the GB say when in my heart I know for certain they are wrong about 1914 and the very foundations of their doctrines.

But in the other hand I have hope in the Bibles promises so I love the social club of going along with JW lite. For the great social club aspect

Ron.W.

Hi Sue,

Many thanks for your very honest post.

I won't use this post to criticise anything about being reinstated or going back to the meetings.

When I felt really low when attending meetings I used to do a few very simple things that seemed to help.

When entering the kingdom hall I tried to give the warmest welcome ever to the first three people I encountered.

Then, in the hall seek out the older widows, and go and say a friendly hello and ask them how their week has been.

Do this for a month or two and then you will then bump into people in the hall you have been friendly with and invariably some will become friendly to you and things seem to start getting easier.

Ask who is ill or long term sick in the hall. Visit them, Ask them how they are coping - listen to them.

When you get to know them better, maybe give them a call on the telephone to have a chat with them.

These are just the things that have helped me. I appreciate they may not be for you.

Although I have been brought up in the truth and now long faded, in the past I have returned to a new hall after being disfellowshipped and also moved to two other new halls both with family and totally on my own, so I know how hard it can be.

Also, there was a wt/awake article that suggested getting professional/medical help advice when you feel as you do.

Just can't remember the year/reference sorry -

Hope something here helps - if not post here again and keep in touch.

Best Wishes

Ron

enoughisenough

I had this thought: if you have to pretend to be something you are not in order to have friends, you are putting yourself out there to use and to be used...so when that happens, what right do you have to cry the blues. It truly is sad people feel they need to do this...such is the life Of PIMO. They know their friends and family would drown them in a teaspoon of water in the name of love for their god ( GB ) No wonder there is so much depression among the JW

peacefulpete

Please talk to your doctor about your feelings, he/she couldn't care less about your religion, they care about your well being. You may discover with a professional's help that your feelings are a medical condition and largely manageable. No one is embarrassed about friends and family that seek help, those days are thankfully long past. Be well.

Riley

You have joined a club whose central message is Jesus died and for eight men only. Piss off with the spiritual nonsense. Your traded that away .

Teddnzo

I had this thought: if you have to pretend to be something you are not in order to have friends

Jwlite is not pretending to be something you are not. You can be honest with select ones that you love the Bibles promises but still don’t know what you believe. You can have hope the Bible is true. Things have changed so much that those who have been out a long time don’t know what the org is actually like these days.

Depression & Isolation

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