An elder in my hall is always so concerned about my teenage daughter( why doesn't she comment as much as her brother, why did she miss the meeting, why this, why that). He keeps his attention on my wife and her friendship with another sister in the congregation and he is constantly hounding every move I make. I feel the love is lacking. Ther3e is really no true concern for the young people and everyon in the congregation. Everyone is separate- no unity -no family atmosphere , just jealousy, competition, envy, backbiting, criticism,criticism,criticism, I feel disgusted and discouraged.
Concern or Criticism
by Ray6 10 Replies latest jw friends
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jgnat
Ray, what would your "ideal" KH be like? What would have to happen for you to feel encouraged and cared for?
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Brummie
Sorry Ray, it is disheartening.
Everyone is separate- no unity -no family atmosphere , just jealousy, competition, envy, backbiting, criticism,criticism,criticism, I feel disgusted and discouraged
Unfortunately that is how it is in just about every kingdom hall, its eye opening.
brumm
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RAYZORBLADE
Ray6 - I am not surprised.
This is NO coincidence, and there are countless stories similar to yours.
The fact that you are here, is interesting, but good as well.
What are your plans Ray
Would love to see another RAY on the forum.
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Sentinel
Hello Ray6, and Welcome
Seems like you are beginning to be able to disquinquish when there is real concern, and when someone is just being picky and critical--looking for problems, and nosey about the personal lives, when it's none of their business.You see, this is how the borg trains it's people. They have to go around finding problems, and weeding out all the demonistic people, the weak who won't get help, the one's who don't meet their standards.
So much importance is given to "outside" things like meeting attendendence, meeting participation, MS, service activity, literature placed. It's really all about numbers. There is the constant feeling of being watched and being told on, and because of this the constant pressure and guilt associated, for not measuring up, not producing enough, and on and on. How healthy can this be? How can one relax and be happy in such an atmosphere, when the threat of losing family members and friends is always present?
We should all accept one another in love and compassion. People in power, gain power by ruling people, and they do this in a subtle way, which trickles on down the chain of command. Cults are notorious for this and so are JW's. To bring their tender flock in control, they dangle Armageddon, labeling, and disfellowshipping in front of their followers, so they begin to fear "man" more than god anyway.
Their lifestyle and teachings are an oxymoron mix of non-sensical subjection to an organization of men. I'm so happy to see you here, and that you are thinking about these things in a serious way. The more one "steps back" and views the whole picture in a reasonable and rational way, the more will be seen. I will look forward to reading more of your posts.
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Dansk
Welcome, Ray6.
I feel the love is lacking. Ther3e is really no true concern for the young people and everyon in the congregation. Everyone is separate- no unity -no family atmosphere , just jealousy, competition, envy, backbiting, criticism,criticism,criticism, I feel disgusted and discouraged.
Well, it won't get any better in the KH that's for sure! If you want unconditional love, true concern for young people and a good family atmosphere you've found it right here!
Dansk
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metatron
As an ex-elder for many years, I can testify to the change of spirit among Witnesses.
While it always was cult-like, there used to be a sense of family or camaraderie among Witnesses that has just vanished
over the past several years. It's all rules, meeting attendance and putting in time --- and blind acceptance of whatever new
propaganda the Watchtower prints. Young people sense the hypocrisy and leave while the old farts in charge fantasize
that Armageddon is "soon" every time a war/new disease/tragedy happens.
Forget it! Reform isn't going to happen to this organization - just quiet decay while the half-senile liars pass their power to
faceless committees.
Find a nice church of any denomination that has friendly caring people .
metatron
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proplog2
Ray:
-no family atmosphere , just jealousy, competition, envy, backbiting, criticism,criticism,criticism, I feel disgusted and discouraged.
It sounds like a family atmosphere to me. Once you get behind closed doors ANYWHERE - you're going to find craziness. Some here would like you to think that this is unique to JW's or that it is somehow worse at the Kingdom Hall.
Humans love the kind of politics, wrangling, competition, envy, power struggles, cheating, coalitions, cliques that emerge from a close community of about 100-120. You see, that's exactly the size of group that our Bonobo-like ancestors evolved in. Our brains can't deal with groups much larger because we couldn't keep track of all the sublte transactions and figure out where we rank in the hierarchy.
These are the things we sit back and watch on TV after a hard day of politics, wrangling, competition etc. Soap operas, cop shows, courtroom, boardroom,reality TV are entertaining because they mirror our daily struggle.
If you like the organization of people you are hanging with you can help bandage the wounded. Or pick another group of people. Chances are if they are a closeknitt community they are going to end up in the same kind of territorial fighting. You see it on line in this group. Some like Bill Bowen other hate Bill Bowen. Bill was a stubborn player in his local congregation and he goes out of his way to bully people in his OWN organization. Some like Farkel - Others hate Farkel (actually I don't know anyone who hates Farkel)
Leave the organization - but leave it for the right reasons - doctrinal error. If you join another group you'll have to start at the bottom and claw your way to a higher level on the ladder.
As you can see - I'm not much of a fan of those who just want to moan & groan about not enough LUUUUUV.
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undercover
there used to be a sense of family or camaraderie among Witnesses that has just vanished
over the past several years. It's all rules, meeting attendance and putting in time --- and blind acceptance of whatever new
propaganda the Watchtower prints.
Well put. I remember as a kid and teenager, the togetherness that did seem to be in the congregations. There were the meetings and service as always but there was always some other kind of event outside the "program" that seemed to hold the congregations together. But over time, non-sanctioned events and gatherings were discouraged and subliminilly banned so that the cohesiveness disappeared. In a way that is a blessing in disquise because it has given people cause to wonder, doubt and eventually discover the sham that is this religion.
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BluesBrother
Welcome, Ray. I guess we have all noticed the changes for the worse in the (b)org over the years . You have realised a fundamental truth, It is just HUMAN and Holy Spirit is sadly absent.
proplog2 made a good point though. Do you believe it is the truth? Do you believe that Christ returned in 1914?, do you believe that you can live forever on Earth in happiness?
If so it would be silly to chuck all that because of one stupid elder who gives you a hard time. Better to check out the internet, find some of the wonderful sites that have intelligent reviews of these teachings - then decide what to do.
It is my guess that you will come to the same conclusion that we all did., thats why we are here and not at the group study tonight.