Hi! New here but been out 4 1/2 years. I would like to offer a 5th option to Terry's list. The Fade Out. I was desperate for the best way to leave, and with my immediate family intact. Mission accomplished on that one, thank God. It was a very scary time going through it tho. Took about 2 years. You need to stop being active as a witness. If you are not thought of as an active witness, and it's been some time since you were active, and then you get caught celebrating Christmas or something, it doesn't have to be 'handled' and they leave you alone. Also, we moved during this time, which was helpful. I don't have a close relationship with my extended family any more and this does break my heart, but I wasn't disfellowshipped, so can speak or see them occasionally...and most importantly, my husband and kids left it too. It wasn't easy and I thought I might lose him at some points, but his eyes were opened to many things during this time, and tho we very fondly remember old witness friends, we have moved on. Good luck!!!
New member, no longer just reader...
by freemindfade 52 Replies latest jw friends
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clarity
Freemindfade, such a big welcome is here for you...and all your newbie buddies who have joined you on here.
Wishing you peace, a clear mind & freedom to use your own mind.
clarity
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freemindfade
Thank you everyone, I hope to continue to draw off your stories and support and give back as much as I can in return. -
FayeDunaway
Feeling silly right now, of course many had written about fading out ahead of me, I didn't read all the posts until now! And it's been a long time since I've visited sites like this. Anyway, fading DOES work, but FYI, if you are incorporating a move into your fade, they now transfer your witness records as soon as they know what congregation area you are moving into, they don't wait for you to go and request your records transferred, something I wish I knew before. My father said too many people falling through the cracks the previous way. I came here today to 1. Find out what this new 'marking' thing is...I had heard it was replacing disfellowshipping, but after doing research, found out no, it's just another level of discipline :P. And 2. Any new society lines on the 1914 thing? since it's been over 100 years now. Tell me if you've heard anything, but I'm thinking it will take some time for their numerology excitement to die down and work up a new speil.
What is with this literature cart thing, by the way? I had noticed I haven't seen much door to door activity lately, but saw people with these carts in public places, but always when driving by, wasn't sure it was witness literature or the Assembly of God or something. It looks kind of crazy, kind of like 20's witness style.
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freemindfade
Yes the carts they are trying to reinvent the golden age of this thing.
Instead of sandwich boards...carts
Instead of phonographs...ipads, no more share a scripture "watch this" or "go to this site"
Instead of the cross and crown pin...jw.org pin
They with all the failed doctrine, and peoples ability to access to so much information on the internet, I think they are dumbing the witnesses down more and putting them in a box. We used to be taught to defend ourselves with a bible, but most people didn't have the info they have now, can you imagine as a witness calling on someones door who went to jwfacts and started firing off questions? Of course I know when I was younger I would just believe they were reading lies about witnesses and they were severely misinformed because thats the I was told to believe under fear of being shunned or dying at Armageddon for thinking otherwise.
Its not my grandfather JW, but in some ways it still is. The cultish orwellian control is the same, but the model is much more transparent and under threat. The organization is changing everyday, and those unable to think rationally just see it as "progress" while the rest of us see it for what it is, scrambling to reinvent and rebrand before anyone notices the man behind the curtain (wizard of Oz reference).
The gb now appears on jw.tv which I don't think is great for the org, yes the die hards say its the best thing ever, but I think it's exposing some as not some angelic benevolent brothers of christ. Which for the diehards (here comes another 1984 reference) is still 2+2=5... "isn't it so great, to see how they are just like us". Anyone able to take a second from the cult flow and stand back and look can see the utopian veil has been lifted of this thing for many. I honestly believe that most people doubt what they teach, and the bible, but have the mentality of so many that if not this than what? which is a dangerous trap to living a life with meaning and purpose.
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Ding
Welcome!
I think one way to get through the meetings is to use your mind actively instead of passively, asking yourself things like:1. To what extent to I agree with or disagree with what is being said?
2. Is the evidence for what is being said good, bad, nonexistent?
3. Is the logic behind this sound? If not, what fallacies are being committed?
4. Can I identify propaganda techniques being used? If so, why are they effective? How might I counter them?
5. How could I get other JWs to think for themselves about this?
6. Is there any safe and reliable way I can spot others who have doubts?
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freemindfade
Ding, exactly! that is what I do, the meetings have become my biggest cause of disbelief against this cult and the bible. Rational non-cognetive bias thinking turns on the light to all this BS, I always look around and see who I think is like me, a freethinker undercover. -
Vidiot
freemindfade - "...The cultish orwellian control is the same, but the model is much more transparent..."
I'm of two minds on the matter.
On the one hand, I'm inclined to view the supposed efforts at "transparency" as just window dressing to give the Org the appearance of "mainstreaming".
On the other hand, if the efforts are at least a little bit sincere, it can't help but expose individual GB members' inherent buffoonishness to the rest of the world in general, and the rank-and-file in particular.
Either way, though, it should help fence-sitters over the fence, whilst entrenching the loyalists even deeper (thus further pushing the Org towards extremism).
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freemindfade
Vidiot, yes, to echo what my mom and I am sure about at least 3 million other witnesses are say about AMIII comments that seemed crazy and brash. They will compare it to jesus saying things that made people say this is madness and leave, then the few that remained were like "who else are we to go to?" and its going to thin out the dubs, which it may, but that will be there logic. The org needed to be refined, so the crazy rants accomplished this... smh -
millie210
Hi and welcome to the forum!