THE MANISCHEWITZ SCALE: A Jewish Take on That Whole God Thing
1. STRONG THEIST--I do not question the existence of God; the existence of my mother-in-law, now that's another story.
2. DE FACTO THEIST--I cannot know for certain, but I think that refers to the Italian Catholic family that lives down the street.
3. WEAK THEIST--I am very uncertain about the existence of God; I also cannot do even one pull-up.
4. PURE AGNOSTIC--God's existence and non-existence are non-kosher non-sequitur existentialist nomemclature...and I am sure I don't know what most of those words even mean!
5. WEAK ATHEIST--I am very uncertain, which is why I was only an atheist for seven days.
6. DE FACTO ATHEIST--See point number two, only this time it describes the Italians on the street next to ours that stopped going to church.
7. STRONG ATHEIST--I am 100% sure there is no God, I swear to God.
8. A JEW--A Jewish boy goes up to a rabbi and says: "Rabbi, my parents say I must, but I don't think I should have to go to temple or say prayers anymore since I don't believe in God." To which the rabbi replied: "What does that have to do with anything?"