"Hi I'm Peter Sutcliffe. I'm doing life because I murdered prostitutes."
"Hi Pete. We're Islamic extremists. We believe that prostitutes should get the death penalty under Sharia ..."
A match made in heaven.
Yorkshire Ripper turns to Islam
by darkspilver 13 Replies latest jw friends
-
LoveUniHateExams
-
pale.emperor
I was still in when he "converted" to the JW's. The way the rank and file dealt with cognitive dissonance of a serial rapist/murder becoming one of their own was brilliant.
"Well Jehovah must have drawn him because he read his heart and knew he was truly repentant".
"There was a king in the bible that sacrificed his own son to a false god - and Jehovah forgiven him".
"In the new system he'll have a chance to apologize to his victims"
And that old favorite... "Lets wait on Jehovah". Ah yes, the answer to all your troubles. Wait on Jehovah.
-
LoveUniHateExams
In the new system he'll have a chance to apologize to his victims - "Hi Beverly. It's me - Pete. Remember that time when I picked you up in my van, fucked you on the passenger seat and refused to pay the full wack, then I gave you a full wack over the head with my adjustable spanner? Well I was just being a naughty boy, and Jeebus has forgiven me my silliness. Lo, we're in paradise. Amen."
Let's wait on Jehovah - translation: let's do fuck all and forget about it.
-
pale.emperor
In the new system he'll have a chance to apologize to his victims - "Hi Beverly. It's me - Pete. Remember that time when I picked you up in my van, fucked you on the passenger seat and refused to pay the full wack, then I gave you a full wack over the head with my adjustable spanner? Well I was just being a naughty boy, and Jeebus has forgiven me my silliness. Lo, we're in paradise. Amen."
Let's wait on Jehovah - translation: let's do fuck all and forget about it.LMAO!!
Wilma: Pete? Peter is that you?
Pete: Wilma McCann! How are you?
Wilma: Fancy meeting you here <hug> well i must say i never expected to see you here.
Pete: I know! Well, i changed when they sent me to that mental asylum.
Wilma: Good, good.
Pete: By the way, sorry for smashing your head in on the grass back in 1975. And for stabbing you in the head, chest and neck.
Wilma: Ohhhhh that's alright Pete. It all worked out alright in the end.
Pete: Yeah... so hows the family.
Wilma: Oh well, then never made it Pete. They never became Jehovah's Witnesses before armageddon so were - ckkk! - you know, killed by Jehovah and Jesus.
Pete: Oh thats a shame. Still. Least i made it huh?
Wilma: That's the main thing Pete. Hey, im having tea with Mozart and Chairmin Mao later, you wanna come with?
Pete: Maybe another time, i already promised Elvis and Ian Brady we'd go bowling.
Wilma: Aww - never mind.