You Know You're A Jehovah's Witness When...
- Being offered a scholarship to a good university is considered a bad thing.
- When you see a house you like you claim it for after your god kills the owner.
- You recieve spiritual guidence from a bus driver and a window washer.
- You're engaged to a person you only met 3 months ago.
- Your widowed mother is marrying a man she met at the convention who she's known for 2 weeks.
- There's Jehovah's Witnesses meeting in your house on a Saturday morning to talk about going out knocking on doors on a Saturday morning.
- A lie in on a weekend happens about twice a year.
- You dont talk to your own parents/children because they have a different opinion about a magazine.
- You're not quite sure what you're supposed to believe anymore.
- When someone criticizes your a magazine you feel like you're being attacked.
- Your 3yo son owns a suit.
- If you're not married by the age of 30 you're considered to be gay or something wrong with you.
- (For girls) If you havent married the first or second person you've dated you're considered promiscuous or something wrong with you.
- You get your scientific knowledge from a magazine written by people who've never been to college and have never actually read the source they claim to be citing.
- You get excited if there's a storm or natural disaster.
- You get excited when there's a terrorist attack.
- You get excited when there's a pandemic.
- Your version of Tinder is the lunch break at a convention.
- Your girlfriend dresses like her grandmother.
- Your grandparents, despite being in the same religion as you, died believing totally a different belief system.