You Know You're A Jehovah's Witness When... (page 2)

waton

when your late grandparents, you spend quality time with , are an early group of the same generation as you, living along the "partakers" of the same age.

(if the anointed overlap so must everybody else)

...when you attend an excruciatingly, mind-numbingly boring pointless meeting, or shuffle through a neighborhood repeatedly knocking on the doors of empty houses, mere hours after the death of a spouse, child, parent, or other beloved person...

...and your "friends" actually think that is the most "faith strengthening" thing they have ever heard of, and warmly praise you for "not grieving as the rest do" and "putting Jehovah first" and "giving a fine witness".

Betheliesalot

When you see the initials GT on a mustang and immediately think Great Tribulation.

LongHairGal

PALE.EMPEROR:

That list is so funny but also true.

The one I’m laughing about is if a JW girl/woman won’t marry any of the first few guys she’s dated. It is assumed something is ‘wrong’ with her. I remember being told I was ‘too picky’.

I was discussing this with another sister once. She said the men in the religion have ‘pick of the litter’ because there were so many women..but sisters are expected to accept ‘ugly goons’ because there are so few men and the decent ones are already taken.

Balaamsass2

These are a scream! Hey, I still have those cheap suits!!!

pale.emperor

I was discussing this with another sister once. She said the men in the religion have ‘pick of the litter’ because there were so many women..but sisters are expected to accept ‘ugly goons’ because there are so few men and the decent ones are already taken.

I always found the prettiest JW girls were already snapped up by age 20. But I should have bided my time, they were usually divorced by 30!

Biahi

...If you think it’s normal to sit in a meeting aka church service, with young children present, while they discuss from the platform beastiality, anal sex, oral sex, etc.

minsky

You sort of weave into the conversation you cannot name 3 ministers in the government

Social gatherings eventually becomes your grandparents re-telling the same stories of those times the congregation would rent a bus and go witnessing in Northern Sweden. Everyone pretends this is great, nobody questions why it no longer occurs. You suspect a scandal.

A guy who inherited a 10-person business lectures you about how Jehovah will provide amidst terrible life advice.

Mr.Finkelstein

Quite true on all accounts

Magnum

Dang, that was good (and true)!

You get excited if there's a storm or natural disaster.

OMG, I actually did as a JW. I watched world events for signs that the end might be near (because I was miserable in the JW routine and wanted relief).

You Know You're A Jehovah's Witness When...