At This Point In Time How Would You Feel If You Were Disfellowshipped?

by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    Before my mother's death, it would have impacted me. Now , I wouldn't care.

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    We have faded 4 years ago. I am sure the JW rumor mill has done a number on our reputation. We are probably cheating on each other and using drugs and alcohol to drown our sorrows. lol We are actually doing better than ever. No cheating, drugs or alcohol. Let them think what they want. They are no longer part of our daily life so being DF'd would not matter much to us anyway. Family has distanced themselves (not that they gave us much attention before we faded). The important thing, is we are happy now. Happier than we were when we were in. There was always this nagging feeling of, something just is not right here. Watching how the majority of the Elders and most of the CO's handle the congregation is sad. Once you put men in judgement of others lives, things will not go well. We are just hoping that Karma will get WT for all the damage they have done and continue to do to peoples lives.

    Contentment and happiness comes from within. If someone (family or friends) no longer wants to be in our life, than they can hit the exit. We are free and they are stuck in a cult.

  • Tapioca
    Tapioca

    Before my mother's death, it would have impacted me. Now , I wouldn't care. ---minimus

    This sums it up for me. Even though my father was never a JDub, he was supportive of Mother. Because they are both gone, I have a great deal more freedom. I can make the snarky comment or expose my own beliefs to other members of the family. Some of them are real a&&holes, so it doesn't really matter to me that they ignore our section of the family. On the other hand, I have been able to bring up some issues to some of the thinking ones of the family and we have had good discussions. I really try to leave the Dubs who are so very fragile alone. If I think there is an opening, though, I really go for it! LOL

    One of the greatest joys of my life is that none of my children are involved in the cult. As TU sez: Contentment and happiness come from within. If someone (family or friends) no longer wants to be in our life, then they can hit the exit.

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm totally a coward in that I wouldn't really "take a stand" to Mother. In my opinion, she was one of the "fragile ones." There are people who just don't want to see what monumental mistakes they've made in life. They don't want to face the loss of all their pretty dreams for the future. The lives that have been shattered due to false teachings and the judgments from men whose brains are the size of a lima bean...what a waste, what a waste. I have appreciated being on this forum because all kinds of differing viewpoints are represented with a general acceptance of all. Someone asking for advice is bound to get opposite points of view and that can be really helpful. It's a comfort to know that others have struggled with these issues, continue to do so, and in some cases, have overcome the challenge and are truly FREE.


  • StephaneLaliberte
    StephaneLaliberte

    To be honest with you, I think I will tell the elders to go f**k themselves the day after the funeral of my last parent.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Well said Toesup! Well said indeed!

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    As for the OP, I don't care anymore.

    In fact we don't abide by nor respect the rules, arrangements or terms of the society, so how they determine our "standing" is irrelevant.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    We keep a low profile and do nothing to put ourselves on the radar of the Eldubs that would threaten our "fade", thus we still have good communication and relationship with all of our JW family members and even a couple of JW friends. While the vast majority of JWs never reach out to contact us (and that's OK), most do not avoid us if we bump into them at the market or mall, etc. On those occasions, we are always happy & smiling and doing great. NO bitching or bellyaching. We want to convey to them that everything is great without the Cult controlling our lives. We think we can encouraging more to "think about it" and sow seeds of doubt this way, than if we were seen as Tools of Satan and being shunned.

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • blondie
    blondie

    We don't do anything to be df'd, yet, unless not attending meetings becomes a df'ing offense.

    We run into jws and they stop and shoot the breeze, not jw stuff. We hug and off we go. The cart people know us and wave but we are on the way to work, no time.

    If you are quiet and don't stir up other jws with our "doubts" no problems. Most of my family are dead or live far away and don't talk to their dyed-in-the wool jw friends around here, out of sight, out of mind.

    I have run into some faded/fading jws in this area through Barbara Anderson, they have grandchildren they want to be able to see. But they can vent with me....I supposed they could turn me in, but I know their secrets too.

  • blondie
    blondie

    min, I miss the red dot.......

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    "If you are quiet and don't stir up other jws with our "doubts" no problems. Most of my family are dead or live far away and don't talk to their dyed-in-the wool jw friends around here, out of sight, out of mind."

    You got that one right. Keep your mouth shut and don't share your doubts with anyone and they will pretty much leave you alone. If you run into a Jw and don't start bashing the org and don't answer any prying questions, they will move along. JW's thrive on gossip. What pisses them off is when you won't give them any juicy tidbits or contribute to the gossip. It really annoys them. I love to annoy them! lol

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