by wednesday 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
We talk a lot about DF and shunning ,and our hatred for these practices. thinking back on your congregation, were there people that u felt deserved to be shunned? Under what circumstances would u have "marked" an individual? or shunned them?Did u receive back the reinstated or continue to "mark" them?
Guess i'm pulling a minimus (sp) here
When I was a JW, I would welcome back those who were reinstated. I knew some who would continue to "mark" such people, but I didn't think it was Christian to continually judge someone for a minor mistake (usually a human failing, such as fornication, or drinking). I had a good friend that came back after being disfellowshipped, and I saw the discrimination he suffered for having been df'd. He really tried to do the right thing, yet the "brothers" continued to mark him.
I knew a "brother" that was disfellowshipped for molesting minors. He's back in now, but I would shun him regardless. An adult male that played with young girls is disgusting and just because the WTS accepts him back doesn't mean that he is worth associating with.
Normally, I think the shunning rule is unChristian, but I do believe there are situations where people deserve to be shunned, such as this one.
Ha. I never shunned. I didn't have the courage then to talk to them openly, but I always gave a wink, which was almost always replied with a smile from the reccipient. Shunning never made sense to me.
I shun the shunners. . . .
Some of us may have known or heard of people being DF multiple times. how would u feel about those people? Are they just screw ups? or victims of abuse from the elders?
I was once shunned by the one I was not shunning. Got it??
It was this way. This young girl married a real jerk of a jw guy. They had a child. He would not work and abused the jw girl. They split up and the girl went to live with another guy. The JERK would bring the child to meetings and both were love bombed.
The now x jw girl was shunned by all. I went to the grocery store and she was the check out person. I knew the situation and was feeling sorrow for her. I smiled at her and said Hi. Told her to hang in there and she shunned me!! Whe sould not look at or speak to me.
Outoftheorg
I was a real jerk when it came to this at first. It still shames me to think of how I was toward other people. I am talking about those who were "bad assosiation". I would shun them - or avoid talking to them. Some christian, eh?
Guilty feelings aside, I eventually hung around exclusively with "bad assosiations", and found them to be the most level-headed people in the truth. One kid who was 16 and came into the truth got DF'd. He was just devastated. I would give him rides to the meetings - which was no small feat on my part (driving wise). He would literally weep after meetings, and I would encourage him, DESPITE what the elders said I should do. Eventually he got re-instated, then promptly dropped off the face of the earth.
So, to answer your question - I was a real jerk (could still be, for all Iknow ) but eventually tried not to shun.
I never really had a chance to shun people because of them being DF'd. Once they were, they disappeared from the halls I went to. I "shunned" or didn't talk to people I didn't like, but thats just because I didn't like them, not because I was told to shun them.
I do remember a couple of times at memorial where my ex would point out people who were DF'd. They sat there in tears. I wanted to go up to them and talk to them so bad so they didn't feel like a worthless pile of crap. But I guess thats what the borg wants them to feel like.
The only person I ever really shunned was my uncle who committed adultery on my aunt (who I liked and didn't think she deserved that) When we had a bit of a break on shunning of DFed ones I went to his marriage to his new woman. Then the rules changed again. But it wouldn't have mattered. He fooled around on her almost immediately. I lost all interest in contact with him after that. Don't even think I have seen him since that time and probably would still not want a lot to do with him - very little respect for others that I find hard to deal with
But others that I saw I would smile at or give their shoulder a squeeze or even talk to . I just hated the shunning and was so relieved when we got a break from it. and so upset that we had to go back to it
I did know one fellow who was DFed who I would sometimes talk to. Later when he was back in and I was DFed he came to talk to me and kept pushing me to go back. I had to remind him to shun me
Some time ago when i was a "real JW' i too shunned most everyone. I also picked up on the ones who were considered inferior spiritualy somehow, and marked them. It was the "in" thing to do. No one wanted to be seen with a loser. This would include people who just seemed to always have problems and just couldn't get it right. Or it could include the depressed-b/c we all knew they had to be spiritually weak. I shudder when i think of this. people so powerful that they would cause me to go against my basic instinct of caring for others and extending mercy.I just wanted to be with the "right' group and did whatever was necessary to get there. I can't believe we thought we were loving.
