If This Place Was A Congregation, Who Would Be The Elders, MS and CO's? (page 6)

Thirdson

I'd be the guy who when he did attend never answered up...except when the CO was in town when I'd answer 5 times in the Watchtower study and have my hand up all the time the CO was on the platform...and thoroughly piss-off the "faithful."

Thirdson

mouthy

Well there now I learned something else ..I am learning more on this line than I did 25 years in the Borg( somethings not so healthy--- but even in them I learned something & was I shocked!!!!!Thanks minimus....((hug)) Guess I am a little TOOO direct I am told....Well when you get OLD it seems your allowed to get away with more than when your young....he!he!

Valis

We would have to restructure everything...

Assorted Apostate Musicians Play "All Along The Watchtower", or DJ dizzycat spins Kingdub Melodies

Talk 1: Mouthy's Words of Advice For The Week

Talk 2: Q & A Panel discussion of International Apostacy, Rotational List of Brothers & Sisters Reporting on Worldwide Effort to Stem The "Good News"

Talk 3: Weekly Report of Beer Intake By The Faithful, Brother Beans or other Overbeer in disco/hot pants mandatory, Winesterial Servants and Circuit Lushes may substitute if no Overbeer is present or his/her bail cannot be raised in the Contribution Box.

Talk 4: Special Guest Apostate Chef of The Week: Spiritual Food For The Hungry Segment... Apostate Recipes For A Paradise In The Kitchen

Farkel closes the meeting with a new classical piece...don't forget to fill the tip...I mean contribution jar located by the plastic flower arrangement set on the piano..

Amen...

Time For Field Service...

Acceptable Time Card Activities

Rugby, Soccer, US football, Baseball, Basketball, Running, Jogging, Hunting, Fishing, Running Naked Through a Field of Poppies, etc...

***Please take heed Brothers & Sisters, make it a point not to knock on doors and piss people off on thier day off. Re: See New Light

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

LyinEyes

I guess I will volunteer to stock the ladies bathroom with toilet paper and one, just one paper towel to dry their hands with........oh yeah, I can clean toilets pretty good. Should I turn in my resume for this job, I do have many years of experience. And yes, I would count toilet bowl cleaning as a way to show Jehovah just how much I love him, and would count it a blessing to do it........

Lady Lee

Hey I still wanna be an elder!!! Waddamean I don't qualify?

kisses a**, covers up elder's sins, DFs everybody we don't like, rides roughshod over the flock, stuts with pride at being a "chosen one", prepares talk with WT approved outlines, asks moronic questions and only asks those who he knows can read from the WT to answer, puts women and children down regularly... .... .... ...

On second thought - you're right I don't qualify

Can I be Mouthy's assistant? Man oh man what a team we would make. JR Brown watch out

Valis

Lady Lee...I was thinking you might be more suited for the XJW Commando Squad...seeking out cells of door knockers and disarming them w/new light and all....perhaps mouthy could interview you from the field....eheh...."Lady Lee reporting in..."

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Lady Lee

Valis that would be soooo cool. Could I wear a shirt that has a huge silent lamb on it - just for effect you know. And perhaps a bullhorn - we know how deaf doorknockers are to real truth and perhaps some kind of alarm to warn the neighborhood that the JWs and their protected pedophiles are nearby and to lock up their children.

Thank you District Overbeer - I job I could really sink my teeth into - chasing the wolves away from the doors

mouthy

Valis you gave us >"acceptable timecard activities... " I cant do any of that except "run through the feild naked" I know Lady Lee !!I dont think she would want to be my aid....Talk about "The wind beneath my wings!!!!"The exclamation would be "OH LOOK AT THOSE THINGS!!!!!!"Run for the Hills folks the Wild beast is attacking.....

Lady Lee

Now Grace I would just love to go door-to-door with you - following the JWs with our own brand of truth.

I think it would be rather fun to follow the JW car group and as they go down one side of the block we go down the other. Might need a big sign to sit on top of our van though. Heck we could just sit in the van with the megaphone and announce to the whole block at once our message

Bet that gets them running pretty fast

and... ahem ... I prefer to keep my clothes on if you don't mind... actually I think we should BOTH keep our clothes on - just our hats off

Valis

Um deaerest beloved Sisters...um maybe the new light needs clarifying....um any activity that does not include irritating householders on thier day off is perfectly acceptable..clothes or no clothes.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

edited because I cannot spell...

If This Place Was A Congregation, Who Would Be The Elders, MS and CO's?

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