Another mind-boggling, HEALING REVELATION today, as I journey out of this goddam cult...

by Muddy Waters 16 Replies latest members private

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  flipper

  Hey Muddy, great thread, I've always enjoyed your posts and takes and I admire your honesty. I think most all of us who have exited this crazy JW cult have had to work on issues that the WT Society indoctrinated into our personalities. For some of us the WT Society tried to rip away our self esteem where we never thought that we were good enough- and it could be that because we were controlled to think lesser of ourselves we end up treating others around us the same way kind of projecting our own lack of self worth onto others making them feel lesser. I don't know- it's just a thought.

  I do know that reading Steve Hassan's books on HOW mind control affected people's personalities really assisted me to see just how much the WT Society had tried to damage me personally. Those books I feel are a MUST read for anybody getting out of a mind control cult, whether it's Scientology, JW's, or other high control organizations.

  Don't be too hard on yourself . You were infected like the rest of us by the WT Society making us loathe ourselves. That wasn't your fault- it's WT leaders fault. It's our job to heal and do things that make us feel good now and help each other out to the road to happiness. Remember, we're always here as a support to you, O.K. ? Hang in there friend
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  smiddy3

  I can relate with a lot of what you said MW ,as I too was a convert @19 years of age so many decades ago,with my GF & then wife and bringing our two children up in the cult.

  It took us 33 years to wake up just before the wonderful WWW came into existence ( I think.)

  We have all been out now about 24 years and it does get better and easier with each passing of time so don`t be too hard on yourself

  One thing I learned in life was not to be controlled by how others thought I should act or be,I will make my own decisions to do or not to do as I see fit and I will bear the consequences of that decision whether it be a right choice or a bad one.

  { It never ceases to amaze me how so many people even now and in the world how people live their life in fear of what other people think,in other words they let other people control their lives ,it`s not just a JW thing.}

  To me that`s what it means to be human.

  And that`s how I see my son`s now,I have no right to tell them how they should live ,I can offer advice ,but that`s it they make their own decisions right or wrong and live with the consequences of their actions and hopefully they are all the right ones LOL

  Take care
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  Giordano

  What I learned from Eric Hoffer's book...... The True Believer. I read this at age 16 and learned that TWBTS was to be ignored. The people were often wonderful but the dogma was a waste of time. By the way he never mentioned the JW's I doubt in 1950 he was even aware of them. But he sure explained them.

  "All active mass movements strive, therefore, to interpose a fact-proof screen between the faithful and the realities of the world. ...by claiming that the ultimate and absolute truth is already embodied in their doctrine and that there is no truth nor certitude outside it. ...To rely on the evidence of senses and of reason is heresy and treason. It is startling to realize how much unbelief is necessary to make belief possible. What we know as blind faith is sustained by innumerable unbelief's."
  

  "[They] pray not only for [their] daily bread, but also for [their] daily illusion."

  "Here, as elsewhere, the technique of a mass movement aims to infect people with a malady and then offer the movement as a cure."

  "Not only does a mass movement depict the present as mean and miserable - it deliberately makes it so. It fashions a pattern of individual existence that is dour, hard, repressive and dull. It decries pleasures and comforts and extols the rigorous life. It views ordinary enjoyment as trivial or even discreditable, and represents the pursuit of personal happiness as immoral."

  "When we believe ourselves in possession of the only truth, we are likely to be indifferent to common everyday truths."

  Eric Hoffer The True Believer: Thoughts On The Nature Of Mass Movements is a 1951 social psychology book by American writer Eric Hoffer, in which the author discusses the psychological causes of fanaticism.

  Hoffer analyzes and attempts to explain the motives of the various types of personalities that give rise to mass movements; why and how mass movements start, progress and end; and the similarities between them, whether religious, political, radical or reactionary.

  By the way Hoffer was a blue collar longshoreman who wrote this book while ships would dock to be off loaded. Go figure.

  
  
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  never a jw

  I have never been a JW, but your experience in the Watchtower is what I have seen time and time again with my JW friends and brothers. Many of them are 50 or older and believed they were rescued (from being human and just living) by the Watchtower. Just one of many examples: my brother became a JW when he was 20 and thought he had no morals and his life was headed for a wreck. What was his problem?, you may ask. He was having the best sex he has ever had with another young woman (not his wife, of course), and neglected his university studies. At that point, he felt he had to quit school and started learning the "truth". Today he is so grateful to Watchtower because he was rescued from "disaster" and was able to raise his three kids with a "solid morality". Never mind that we have another brother who has never been a JW and who also had very good sex with his wife before they married. They too raised three excellent kids . One is a doctor and two are engineers. All three are great human beings in marriages where loyalty and love are the main ingredients. My non-JW brother and my non-JW-nieces and nephew have never known the "truth", but somehow have remained with the first and the same spouse in very happy relationships for many years (my brother has been married for almost 40 years).

  Meanwhile, what's the story of kids raised in the "truth" by JW parents??? Most of the times their lives are a mess ( I really mean "Most"). They have low paying jobs, have gone through divorces multiple times, are alienated by their JW family because they no longer are the ideal JW's... and of course are blamed for bringing all their problems onto themselves... they abandoned Jehovah.
  
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  Vanderhoven7

  The question is then, from where does self-value and worth come?

  It comes from a life well lived; that is, lived with integrity, care for self and others and doing what is right regardless of what others think, say or do.
  
  
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  flipper

  GIORDANO- I have to get that book you mentioned ! It sounds really interesting and ahead of it's time being written in the 1950's. Very interesting quotes, thanks for posting that info. I totally agree with those thoughts.

  VANDERHOVEN- Well said
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  LisaRose

  It took me many years after leaving to get ris of some of the destructive programing of the Watchtower, I was still hung up on the idea that I needed to do things perfectly, that mistakes were proof I was a bad person. I have found meditation to be very helpful in learning to accept and love myself, mistakes and all, and to accept and love others also.

  Recently I found the guided meditations by The Honest Guys on you tube to be very helpful also.