Should parents be held responsible in hazing?

by freedom96 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  freedom96

  I imagine most of you have heard or seen the footage of the hazing in which girls were beaten at a high school.

  The ones guilty of this crime have been formally charged as adults. After reading reports and viewing the video, I believe the authorities rightfully charged them. I don't think there has been much debate on whether or not those kids are guilty.

  The question I have heard out there is whether or not the authorities should charge the parents because their kids were involved?

  Basically, the arguement is that the parents should be accountable for what the kids do. I disagree. In my opinion, the parents should not be charged with anything. Unless you can prove that the parents encouraged this behavior, why should they? The parents did not participate, did not know.

  In this case, apparently one adult did provide beer, and sure, they should be responsible for that act, but not the hazing.

  Sometimes, parents do all they can, but their kids turn into rats. It happens. Law of averages. For every ten good people, one or two are going to be a problem. Same for kids as adults.

  Now, there will be extreme circumstances where something could have been prevented, but by and large, I believe most kids know right from wrong, and will do what they want regardless of what the parents say. If a kid is at school, and gets into a fight, should the parents be held accountable to the courts?

  Some are saying that the parents of these kids who did the hazing should also suffer and go to jail. Like that helps the problem.

  What do you think? Should we send "bad" kids parents to jail over a crime the kid committed?
• 

  jws

  I think that sort of thing is absurd and can give way too much power to the kid.

  I know as a kid I did plenty of things my parents didn't know about. And that's because they would have disapproved of what I was doing so I had to go behind their back. They were doing their part, but they can't know everything. What kind of justice would it be to punish them for an act that they would disapprove of and had no knowledge I was doing?

  And what's more, it give the kid an awful lot of power. Don't like the rules your parents are laying down, go do something bad and get them in trouble, further causing divisions between families, furthering problems. In at least some parts of Texas (maybe all), parents can get fined if their kids are late for school. So what happens if you drive your kid there, drop him off, and then, because you refused to buy him the latest video game, he decides not to go in and be late to punish you?

  Even kids should be responsible for their own actions. Maybe bad parenting is at play. But you can't solve this by punishing parents because both good and bad parents will be hurt. It's the person who commits the crime that needs to be punished.
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  Sunspot

  No, absolutely not.

  Teens are notorious for doing things they KNOW their families would not be happy about, but do them anyway. Things are made even more "interesting" to teens when a school "ritual" , or something of that nature is expected of them, even though the law forbids these activities.

  How can parents be held responsible for something like this? It's totally ridiculous. Here in NY state, for YEARS, a child could legally leave home at age 16, quit school, and bum around doing whatever struck them on any given day, and going where the wind took them. ANY trouble they got into away from the parents control/ home/ supervision, any damages they incurred, the parents were LEGALLY liable until they became 18.

  Sound outrageous? You betcha! So many parents had to go into debt to cover the costs that their teenagers brought down on them......WE held our breath for two years, never knowing if WE'D be next, having to pay for car wreck damages, physical assaults and medical damages our kids might have done to others, broken windows, you can only imagine what kind of trouble that a teenager on the loose can get into.

  Fortunately, the law has recently been changed, but to hold parents accountable for the "doings" of teens when they are involved in something like this.......is wrong.

  My 2 cents...

  Annie
• 

  Valis

  I think ALL of the kids involved should be charged...One can't say the kids who were getting hazed didn't know what they were in for? gimme a break! Just like the freaks who join sororities and fraternities...they complain about the hazing, yet the subject themselves to it willingly. There is no difference and probably one reason they all decided to do it off of school grounds. I don't feel sorry for any of them one bit.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  notperfectyet

  I agree with Valis, but also agree the parents should be held acountable.

  If the parents were accountable, you would be darn sure they would know where their kids were, any time, any place.

  I have three kids of my own. If they got into trouble, they knew they would be held responsible, and they were. I did go to battle with them many times, when I believed and knew they were being wrongfully accused of something.

  Case in point, now all of my kids are grown and doing well, I have a dog, the animal control has been called 3 times against him. Bottom line, if my dog is out without a leash again, I will be fined. He is my responsibility. The only thing is they offered me if I can't control him they couldn't offer me with my kids, is to be put down. I now follow his every move.

  Interesting fact if parents knew their kids could be euthanised if they got out of control, how many parents would care more.

  LOL
• 

  Reborn2002

  This scenario presents an interesting conundrum. Why? Should legal guardians be formally charged with crimes for the delinquent actions of a minor?

  I believe it boils down to individual circumstance.

  Some children behave so outrageously because it has been accepted, even encouraged in their home environment. Kids who are not taught proper manners, who are disrespectful to their parents and spoiled anyway.. allowed to do any/everything and are never disciplined... you know the kind I refer to. Those kids in the grocery store who scream and curse their mother for not buying them candy. What kind of young adult do you think that child grows up to become? Those children who are given alcohol BY their parents at age 14 or 15, who listen to violent rap music and have no respect for authority. In instances like the above the parent is directly responsible for the delinquency of the minor, and contribute to their moral deterioration.

  On the other hand, you have children who succumb to peer pressure or are inherently bad. The child who goes along with the crowd or despite their parent's best attempts at raising them well... defy them at every possible turn and become troublemakers. The parents who cry because they are heartbroken at how their kid turned out. They love them, but not what they do.

  I am sure parents of children of their own can understand to what I refer.

  It depends on the individual scenario for each child. If the case goes to court I am sure the attorney's may very well discuss each case individually if it means getting a client off the hook.
• 

  freedom96

  I do agree that some parents should be held accountable due to the circumstances, as reborn had mentioned. Each case is definately different.

  I can see the case of a hoodlum kid, whos own parents are gang bangers, druggies, etc.

  But what about the "normal" family who has one kid who just refuses to comply with what is considered acceptable behavior?

  Then, you have the case of a good parent, who suffers jail time because of one deliquent child. Then the rest of the family suffers. What about the good kids? What about the other parent. What if the dad goes to jail cause Frankie beats up another kid without cause. Now the whole family suffers, for now there is no work or money, because dad is in jail. I think that would just add to the problem, and make it worse.

  Those kids who are old enough to know better, should have severe consequences for their behavior.

  Perhaps there should be more programs in school to educate children on what happens when you do something criminal.

  How does it affect your life later? How does it affect future relationships, schooling, jobs, place in the community, etc.

  They should be told that their dumbass friends won't be there for them later in life when they really need the help.
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  happyout

  One of the things that bothers me about some of the stories I am reading is that a number of the kids are appealing their suspension or expulsion. Nowhere does it say they are denying their actions, just objecting to the punishment. And that, in my humble opinion, is a problem on the part of the parents. If I did something like that, and got caught, my mom would still love me, and still want the best for me, but she would let me take the punishment I had coming. That's why I (and my siblings) have always shown respect for the law, and never gotten into trouble. If these kids aren't severly punished now for their behaviour, heaven help the world they are being let loose on. I think that's where the parent's responsibility comes in, helping their "children" understand that there are consequences for their actions, and that those consequences can be severe.

  Happyout
• 

  Shutterbug

  One can't say the kids who were getting hazed didn't know what they were in for? gimme a break!

  My understanding is that this was some kind of "puff" football, which brings up the question, did they really know they were going to be hazed? If so it is highly unlikely the kids thought one of them would need fifteen stitches to close a head wound, that they would be force fed feces, and assulted with buckets and fists. At any rate I can't see where hazing can help anyone, and should be banned.

  Now, should the parents be responsible ?? Raising teenagers is sort of like wading thru a swamp, there are all kinds of dangers out there and parents should talk with their teens and point out the dangers. From what I read, some of these teens were raised in a very permissive manner and apparently think momma and daddy will get them out of trouble. In fact, at least one parent has brought a lawsuit demanding the school not suspend his precious little girl. We can come down on the parents, but when that happens the law must apply to all parents, both good and bad and that will result in some good folks getting into deep poo poo for acts their teens committed.
• 

  outnfree

  Wow, Valis! I'm shocked at your harshness!

  I thought there might be a parallel with joining the witnesses: One is invited to participate in something seemingly benign in order to 'belong/join' and it's only when one is really there that the true face of the event/membership rears its very ugly head.

  I don't think the girls who showed up for the game were expecting the brutality they experienced. They might have expected something, but these are teenagers: "It can't/won't happen to ME!" -- remember those feelings of invincibility? Therefore, I can't agree that the hazed are as culpable as the hazers.

  (And I don't see the frat/sorority parallel, either, although I wouldn't want my kids to subject themselves to hazing to join the Greek life.)

  I don't think the parents should be held responsible at all. I agree with the poster who said that the threat of parents being accountable under the law for their kids' poor behavior gives a mighty weapon of intimidation to the KIDS. This is not right. Already kids use the ability to phone Child Protective Services on their parents as an intimidating factor (of course, some parents respond with "Go right ahead, AFTER I kick your sorry butt!").

  I have three kids, raised four. Each has a different personality, each behaves differently in response to authority. Each was raised with the same two parents and more or less constant values. There is no guarantee one or more of them may not get in trouble with the law. If they do, I'll instruct them in my values by allowing them to accept the consequences of their actions and making amends where possible.

  For those who mentioned irresponsible parents perhaps being held responsible? That's likely true, but in my opinion the time for society to call them on their poor parenting was when they were neglecting their kids' formation in the pre-teen years. Nature vs. nuture is an interesting debate. Some kids with truly rotten, irresponsible, drug-addicted, dishonest and/or unloving parents turn out just fine, too, because they've resolved to be different.

  out