Do you ever wonder:

StinkyPantz

What's wrong with me?

I have noticed that lately, I have become a real bitch (no need for anyone to agree ). I have no idea why!

There are certain things/people that really bug me and instead of just ignoring them like a civil person, I speak my mind (which causes a fight ). Of course I do so without profanity or name-calling, but I'm still bitchy nevertheless.

Once I got offline last night I took a step back and looked at my online self and realized to my dismay that I have looked like a total psycho lately.

So for everyone that reads this. . if you find yourself in a few too many fights and heated disagreements, it might be time to just calm down, take a deep breath, and remember not to take yourself too seriously.

Shutterbug

Getting into a fight depends on rather or not the outcome is worth the effort. I have lost my cool on occasion, but regretted it every time. As long as the spat isn't personal, it is best to just back away and let the other fellow blow his/her cool. Wish I could say I've always followed my own advice, but I don't wish to start lying. Bug

Introspection

I think it's not so much a question of taking yourself too seriously, but what you take to be your self. People really don't defend an idea, they defend themselves or what ideas they happen to identify with. After all, if it's just ideas which you're not particularly attached to, then you just kind of look at it logically and sort out what the reasonable conclusion is if you can conclude anything. Of course, it's really all just ideas - including the idea that there's something wrong, that you should be civil and just ignore the other person or whatever.

I guess part of it for me is that I no longer believe there's any reason to get personal online, whether it's in a good way or a bad way. The thing is you can see people react a certain way, say losing your cool for example, but I guess in my book that's not what a person is all about. Yet this is how people seem to unconsciously judge others - sometimes in a positive way and they kind of think "hey, this is my kinda guy/gal because they think this way about things, I will consider them a friend". But basically this is the same kind of behavior that happens when we react negatively, it's just familiar conditioning, and as far as I'm concerned that's when we are NOT ourselves. I guess what I'm trying to say is that to get close and personal for me it takes something deeper, even if we're talking about someone we agree with who wants to be with a yes man all the time?

Soledad

Shutterbug is right on. Personally, being a native busy-body New Yorker I'm known for not keeping my

mouth shut when I really should, so I make an everyday big old effort to not let things escalate when in a

confrontational situation. It may kill me in the heat of the moment to just look away or to just STFU, but

at least later on I don't feel any remorse or regret for not having exercised self-control. BTW I never take

myself very seriously at all. The older I get the more immature and silly!

Shutterbug

People really don't defend an idea, they defend themselves

Right on the mark. Too many of us take things personally, (guilty) and feel threatened when someone else has an opposing idea.

Wish I knew who said, " when two people agree all the time, one of them isn't thinking". Closer to home, there are very few who don't have disagreements with spouses or children. Wife and I have had disagreements in the past but have managed to stay married for 38 years. Bug

shamus

Stinkypantz, (by the way, what's with the name? if they stink, change 'em!)

I read a quote one time.... arguing on the internet is like winning the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still ************ed. (sorry, that word is a bit of an issue with me, as I look after persons with developmental disabilities)

Figure out what is the point of arguing? Is it really worth it? Why even respond to insults, or to what we consider insulting behavior? Like you all said, just don't take yourself too seriously, and laugh about things

RAYZORBLADE

Hey Stinkypantz, well...I used to be very arguementive.

Eventually, as time went on, I matured and was able to observe what my own 'cause & effect' generated.

I can embarrassingly admit, years ago when I was a real firecracker on xjw forums, I know for sure I scared off someone who needed a gentler touch. Yes, it bugs the hell out of me. That person probably went right back to the KH: some good I was .

There are times when a thread generates some heat. I tend to look at it, go away from it, then return to the thread or post. Sometimes I will write my thread (save it) and a day or several hours later, I'll revisit the thread. It's so easy to write in a reactionary sense rather than a cool, calm and collected one when we post in the heat of the moment.

SP, it's true, you've been under alot of stress as of recent. But still, it's important to step back like you've done, and look at things from a slightly different perspective.

I've had disagreements, but I don't need to go on and on and on with some people. I always expect that someone, somewhere is going to find a post of mine, or my viewpoint totally opposite to theirs. No surprise there. But once both of our points of view have been made, it's ridiculous to bash it over and over again. That's just looking for a fight that may not even be there in the first place.

If I feel confident enough to give my e-mail out to someone, I will, thus I can take a personal discussion or heated debate there. It usually is resolved and all is well.

There are people who will dislike me no matter what. That's how people are. I can tell, but hey...once again, that's just how people are. One can end up being someones foil, and well the on-going debates that go in a continuous loop.

If someone gets all nasty and crappy with me, I cannot and will not put any time or effort into their post or their psychosis. Good they can channel it at me, but it tells me more about them than it does me. Let them rant.

When I have had a disagreement with someone, it's discussed, over and done with. I always tend to find something to post to their thread or comment that is bang on, that we agree upon. That's one of the keys to on-line forum balance and harmony.

Take care Stinkypantz. Thinking of you.

Beck_Melbourne

Greetings Stinkypantz....I love your new pic btw.....is that you? What a cutey.

As for online bitching....well it happens but don't lose any sleep over it honey. I learnt a long time ago a lot of it depends on the individual who forces you into a position of defense. Some posters take it personal if you disagree with their point of view - so to disagree with their opinion invites hostile insults which usually includes criticism of your culture, race, age, gender, intelligence etc, anything so as to get a retaliation. That's when the "you said" "I said" quotes come into it...defence and attack...defence and attack.

In the scheme of things, it hardly seems worth it...

if you find yourself in a few too many fights and heated disagreements, it might be time to just calm down, take a deep breath, and remember not to take yourself (or them) too seriously.

(red text my own)

~Beck~

Francois

Stinky, I note that you are in a lot of stress here lately. You are about to pick up and move a thousand miles or so. You're going to go to school. Someone ran into your car. And God knows what you haven't told us about.

High stress can make you decide to be bitchy. And it is a choice. You could choose to react in a different way. Unless you want to take the position that someone else is in charge of your emotional state. I can't believe that of you.

Make a mental note that you're under a lot of primary stress and because of that perhaps you're not making the best intra-social reaction choices these days. Perhaps it will help you to make better choices if you really want to.

I like your new pic too. Do you have one looking direct into the camera lens?

francois

SheilaM

Stinky:

Now aren't you being a little hard on yourself. I mean you argue with Farkel he is a big boy, he can take give it and take it as evident by the last closed thread. LOL

Try not to be so hard on yourself, as I was told by some wise people breathe in breathe out...

Do you ever wonder:

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