It was a very traumatic experience for me and I still have the pregnancy test in an envelope with the name I chose for her (I'm not sure if it was a girl, but I felt like it was.)
((((((((((((hugs))))))))) I can relate to that...I had names picked put for both of my babies as well.
A word of caution, everyone. I can't speak for Kelpie and Rick, but I know that when I lost my babies and people said to me that it was "natures way" of dealing with a malformed baby, that brought absolutely no comfort to me, and even hurt more.
Besides, the fact is that many miscarriages are caused (at least I was told, and found out to be true in my case, because I had a hormone deficiency that required injections for my last pregnancy, which was successful) by other factors, that often there would have been nothing wrong with the baby. Sometimes it's the environment in the uterus, sometimes it's just something no one will ever know the reason for.
I know many are just trying to be comforting, but please think before you speak. And if you're unsure what else to say, just say I'm sorry. Well intentioned words that may seem helpful or positive to you (ie trying to assure the parents that this was 'for the best') can wound them all over again. That was the case with me, anyway.
Kelpie...you do need to give your body time to recouperate. To give your next baby every possible chance for a healthy arrival. Also, you need time emotionally to process the loss. Give yourself the gift of time, take care of yourself physically and emotionally, and in a few months, see how you feel. Believe me, I also speak from experience telling you that for me, at least, having another baby won't make you miss the one you've lost any less. The baby will always be with you, and in time, it won't hurt so very badly.
I understand about the commercials and all setting you off. It's okay...I went through it too. Give yourself permission to cry all the tears you must. Preferably with a friend, or Rick, someone who can be there to hear you out as you tell your story as many times as you need to in order to work through this. Don't let anyone rush you or tell you when you should be 'over it'! You will recover in your own way and time, and no one should minimize it (though everyone here has given full weight to your loss, outside this place you may find that some people brush it off.) Don't let anyone do that.
Rick, thank you for posting, I haven't checked my e mail today yet but I will, and like I said, if you or Kelpie need to talk to someone who understands, feel free to write to me.
hugs,
essie
