by rocketman 34 Replies latest watchtower bible
Tyler,
Why on earth do you find me intimidating, or interfering, or whatever word that was you used? My first guess is you don't have kids of your own. I'm not too concerned about what you think of me though, as long as my kids are safe and healthy. As far as being as bad as a JW parent, how many JW parents would let their 13 year old daughter have a "boyfriend" and let her explore becoming Jewish?
Witty. No, I just think this thread was leaning a little too much on the tyranical side. Had you all been saying that kids need to be left alone to dicover themselfs and find their place in the world I would have argued more stronly for discipline and controll. Two extreems are intimidation and neglect. Too much discipline is intimidating. None is neglect. I guess you just have to use your own common sense to avoid either extreem. There are no 'rules' per se'. The trouble is that whenever there is a discussion or debate about pairental controll it always seems to lean too far to either extreem, and I hate to think of a pairent reading this forum and thinking to themselfs 'Mmm. I ought to be a lot harder on my son/daughter/s because if they don't they'll get a gun and shoot down their high school/become a terrorist/get pregnant a three/become a junkie and steal from my handbag/wallet to support their habbit/ join a street gang and start fighting over territory/ blah blah blah...etc.' Suddenly they burst into their son/daughter's room and start nagging them for watching Barney the Dinosaur because Dinosaurs are preditors and it might have a subliminal effact on their fragile little minds that will take seed and turn them into serial killers when they grow up. Ok that was an exageration. But I just don't like the thought of things like this forum justifying abuse. Abuse is not an exterrm. It is a reality, and when you go on your spiel about Kids turning bad, it is easy to forgett that it is not always that way. Both sides must be heard.
As a parent, I reserve the right to do whatever I think is in my child's best interest. That will definitely mean monitoring ALL internet access, and my son will NOT have a computer in his room. He will have one in a central location where anyone can walk by and see what's on the screen. This is a recommendation from law enforcement, and one I am happy to follow. I doubt I would ever install a camera in my home, definitely not in his room, he gets dressed in there, and that leads to too many privacy issues. However, I would have no problem going in his room and looking around if something caught my attention, or if I felt there was something going on I needed to investigage. On average, I do think children have too many liberties, and I think that it has been a huge detriment on our society. As Yeru stated earlier, if the Columbine children's parents had been more active in looking in their children's rooms, a tragedy could have been avoided. And believe me, parents frequently think their kids are "normal" when in actuality they are into alcohol, drugs, and worse. I am my son's mom first and foremost, and I will do that job to the best of my ability, even if it sometimes makes me unpopular.
I meant to type out a thoughtful reply, but happyout already said pretty much everything I wanted to.
Actually, the GPS system could indeed be good for safety reasons, but in the context of the 20/20 show, the dad was using it mostly to track movements of his daughter, though again this may be the least invasive of the high-tech methods used (we use the cell phone for similar 'tracking' and we expect and receive our child's cooperation in calling us when plans change, etc).
Also, while we do not read our child's IMs or e-mails, we do expect wise use of the PC and it is in a central area of our home. Thus far, this has worked well for us. We have one rule with regard to IM - all people on her chat list must be only those whom she personally knows or has gotten from a reliable friend whom she trusts.
The emphasis in our household is on communication. We have found that simply engaging in various activities together keeps the lines open.
We also have another important way of 'monitoring' our child - who are her friends and what kind of people are they? We have found thus far that she has been keeping company with fine people who come from fine families, many of whom we've met.
Two notes about what we've found in these areas with regard to jw teachings:
1. The family bible study was actually a hinderance to good communication. Our daughter felt 'ganged up on.' The discussion was so structured that it provided little opportunity for real talking. Having a book or magazine in front of you was a sure-fire way to keep from really talking.
2. The friends that proved most harmful were jw teens. We were amazed at how they'd do things behind their parents' backs time and again, and heard stories about their fondness for underage drinking, sex, and marijuana. Not all were like this, but the ratio of jws who were, compared to that of non-jw friends, was shocking. These same kids were seen and heard at the Hall regularly of course, commenting and behaving as if they were spiritual people.
Rocketman: Ditto. Some of these people are real tyrants with their kids. All I can say is good luck. Maverick
