I am thinking of doing it....

shamus

That is, DAing myself. I have been reading COC, and am just disgusted right now. How can my name be attached to this man-made cult? I don't think that even my friendships that are in the religion are worth my conscience right now... how much it is bothering me.

It's pretty amazing.... I thought that I would never ever think of doing this drastic step, yet right now I am completely considering it...

Has anyone else out there felt like this? I am very torn right now..... very torn, but just thinking about it....

Now I know why this black-eye emoticon is on this board.

SixofNine

If you don't report time, your name is not associated with the disgusting cult.

Only you can weigh the personal cost. Most are better off just fading.. but if you have nuthin to lose... go for it, but try to get the most mileage out of it with people who will listen to you for a while.

Jesika

Personally, I got myself df'd at 15 to get away from it, but my sister refuses to write a da letter.

When I asked her why, she told me "I refuse to play by "their" rules, I don't have to da myself, I don't consider myself a JW anymore, and I will NOT abide by "their" rules since I am no longer "one of them".

I never thought about it that way, untill she said that to me. To da youself, is one of the JW rules, or in your words a "man made" rule.

If you need to da for closure, then that is fine, do what is good for you. Just thought I would tell you the stand my sister has taken. She said "if they choose to df me or whatever, I don't care, I am not a JW anymore anyway, they can do what they want to."

Just some food for thought.

Jes

shamus

Thanks...Jesica...

That is food for thought... I am going to have to think long and hard about this. It's just too much to take in right now, but it just seems like the thing that I need to do...

Sorry for all the "I" posts, everyone. The realization of how far these people controlled me, and took advantage of us all is just too much sometimes. COC is just a sad, sad book and I feel so badly for all those people....... they went through worse things than I could even imagine. One can only imagine how the abuse victims feel here. It is impossible to understand unless you're in their shoes.

Jesika

It's ok sweety!!

All the "I" posts are ok, that is what this place is for. It is about "this it what is going on with me, and what do you all have to say, or can you give me feedback".

I have had plenty of "I" posts.

Abuse is what made me leave the JW's, and at age 12 I wanted out and to be free and away from the abuse of my home, not to mention all the crap about the JW's I found out later (found out when I came to this board and on silentlambs).

COC is a hard book to "swallow", but they don't say the truth hurts for no reason right?

Just give it time to sink in and process. Don't overwhelm yourself either ok?

PM me if you want, or if you want to go into chat, I can meet you in there, just let me know on this thread or go in chat and I will see you there k?

Love,

Jes

Brummie

I don't think that even my friendships that are in the religion are worth my conscience right now... how much it is bothering me.

I got to this stage Shamus, you can never be happy while walking around with a permanent bad conscience. I'd have gone totally mad if I had stayed so I wrote a letter of disass, it was a hard thing to do but I dont regret it. There was too many issues to get through and having JWs phoning and hounding would never give me any time to work things out in my own head, dissing was the only way to stay sane for me.

Brummie

Prisca

I have thought about Da'ing myself, and technically I should be df'd, but I also think: why play by their rules? I also have family members to consider, otherwise I may have da'd myself just to make a point to the elders.

So if you haven't got anything to lose, and you feel it will give you closure, then go ahead. Just be ready for the instant shunning.

Cicatrix

Hi Shamus,

Yes, I understand very well what you mean! When I learned about Silentlambs and the myriads of others who have been vicitmized by a rigid organization who refuses to humanly restructure their policies to prevent innocent ones from suffering, and who indeed often add to their suffering, I was livid and no longer wanted to support the organisation with my membership.

But, I have no baptised family members and no family members who want anything to do with Jehovah's Witnesses. Plus, there was a witch hunt being conducted, and certain members of the congregation were looking for evidence to disfellowship me (based on rumors), so I bailed before giving them the satisfaction of ousting me on some trumped up charge.

I lost a few close friends, and I grieve the loss of their companionship.In fact, I still have horrific nightmares regarding the loss, and that is why I am in here at 3:30 in the am instead of sleeping.

But honestly, I am adjusting pretty well for the most part. I am making new friends who know what I've been through, and experiencing lots of new things.I'm much happier, and so is my family.Nothing would prompt me to return.

Just take your time in deciding if it is worth it in your situation to DA. If you have family members in, or close friends you can't bear the thought of living without, you may want to consider a fade.

And this place was made for "I" posts:)

Regards,

Cicatrix

onacruse

I "faded' as long as I could. I'd still be fading today, if they hadn't come after my ass.

Keep your friends and family as long as you can. The longer you're "in," the better you can help them.

imho

Craig

gitasatsangha

If you sever your ties you might feel more free, then you would by fading. Never wondering whose monitoring your activity. Never flinching when the doorbell rings. Just something to consider.

I am thinking of doing it....

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