Easy, sleazy bimbos

by YoursChelbie 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Kingpawn
    Kingpawn
    The question I have is: What ultimately prevents a "taken" man from giving in to a sleazy woman's advances?

    Several things. First, he may already have seen her in action and know what fate lies in store for him when she's done with him. Second, the knowledge that "if she did it to her last "conquest" (cheated on him while saying he was the only one for her, raked him over the coals financially, destroyed his marriage/relationship with someone else/etc.) she'll do it to me" will scare him off. Third, she may be too brazen about it.

    Incidentally, while the pop star Pink might be labelled as sleazy because she got Britney Spears P.O.'ed when she said she wouldn't mind sleeping with Spears' then-bf Justin Timberlake, you'd also have to include actress Doris Day, who in an autobiography said if she found what she thought was the right guy for her, his marital status wouldn't matter (IIRC)--have to find the book). A pretty broad brush to paint people with.

    For example, is it possible for a man already in a relationship, to turn down an attractive fellow employee who makes passes at him and lavishes attention on him?

    Of course it's possible. Likely? Depends on the people involved (is he shy and insecure? Maybe this is very flattering to him. A "himbo?" He may think it's his due from life), the situation (is she drunk at the office party and boozily throwing herself at him or subtly working her way into his life?), the reason (appealing to his lust, his chivalric impulses, his willingness to help someone in trouble, and so on), the culture (of the workplace, social gathering, church, camping trip with several couples), etc. Some people are as steadfast as a mountain in situations like this, while others would make cooked spaghetti look like Superman in terms of resistance.

    Can a man's sense of commitment be enough to prevent him from being a two-timer?

    Sure, BUT besides her actions, many guys have to deal with the ridicule of their male buddies, who are jealous over his refusal to betray a trust his wife/SO has in him because they would trash it in a heartbeat, given the chance, which they aren't getting because she's ignoring them (for now, anyway).

    Does the whole matter depend on the extent of his love and devotion to his significant other?

    Not that alone. But you're right that it does come down to values (doesn't everything in life, if you stop and think about it?). Choices. What means more to the guy--this woman or (insert any other alternative here)? The competing factor might be money, self-respect, religious devotion, a promotion, an inheritance, etc.

    Another thing that would help him in his struggle: other women who'd let him know he's respected for resisting and not seen as a wussy by them. Especially if he's the type of guy who has trouble relating to women in social/romantic settings, who wants to talk with them but may be painfully shy.

  • Mary
    Mary

    This should make a man think twice:

  • searcher
    searcher

    You also have to remember that some men are in relationships where the woman has become so distracted by the everyday 'running' of the house/family/work etc that she fails to show much response/attention to the man, ( I know that men do this too )

    The man then becomes an easy target for someone who shows him attention and what seems like loving.

    He may even know that he is taking a huge chance but it would be fairly easy for him to think " I may lose what I have but its not so much".

    Some women seem to forget, most men need the compliments and ateention that is normaly only thought of as being the needs of women.

    Relationships are like gardens, you dont stop working on them after the planting is done, if you do, bimbo's and himbo's can and will move in like weeds.

    I have known a lot of cases where this has happened.

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    I can't of course speak for every man.

    For me, when I married, in my mind, I accepted the thought of loyalty and fidelity to one woman. My wife.

    Unfortunatly, one of my two JW wives, did not feel this way. Both professed virginity and neither one was a virgin.

    I did not receive honesty and fidelity until I married one of those terrible (worldly women).

    When I encountered a woman who was seductive and felt she was open to sexual advances from me, and I pondered accepting her advances, I would feel this strong feeling of guilt and fear when I was married.

    Where this came from and what put it in place, I really do not know.

    After I left the borg, this guilt and fear was not there, between marriages. But I still felt the guilt and fear during my marriage.

    Outoftheorg of the-go figure class I guess.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    Outoftheorg, you said:

    Unfortunatly, one of my two JW wives, did not feel this way. Both professed virginity and neither one was a virgin.

    How do you know they were not virgins? Did they tell you they had had sex with someone? Did they do the splits like Cassi, during gym class (we were told the same thing...also could not ride on a boys bike- in case you fell and hit the bar...WHAM-no more virgin) and lose it that way?

    Or even riding a horse. Women used special saddles for years because it was thought that if she straddled the horse, she would lose her virginity, thus losing all appeal for the men who would purchase, uh, marry her.

    Were you a virgin? Why is that so important?

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    YoursChelbie I think the answer is in the statement you made:

    They hit on single men, married men, old and young. Theirs is a game and an inflated ego the prize. The majority of the time, people get hurt.

    IF they have a good sense of self, (ego) a firm determination and value commitment, and here I mean regardless of how their S/O treats them, then no one can persuade them to bring dishonor to the relationship they are committed to. That kind of man will have no need for an enflated ego, a rare find. A weak man will make excuses for his actions, ie; blame it on YOUR mistreatment of him in some way.

    to turn down an attractive fellow employee who makes passes at him and lavishes attention on him? Can a man's sense of commitment be enough to prevent him from being a two-timer? Does the whole matter depend on the extent of his love and devotion to his significant other?

    My X cheated on me several times, but he always told me he loved ME and not them.......he is a weak man with a low sense of self and needed his ego to be stroked by many. Love in his case had nothing to do with devotion. Once again I say it has to do with his ego a strong sense of self, values and morals.

    Katie (of the not a man, but have had experience with them class)

  • Introspection
    Introspection
    What ultimately prevents a "taken" man from giving in to a sleazy woman's advances?

    Of course this depends on the man, but I would say it's a matter of integrity. From this perspective you really have to back up a step though, because frankly anyone who gives in really gives in to their own impulses, what I'm saying is for someone who's integrity includes being monogamous and also just not giving in to sex by itself, then giving in to your sex drive to the exclusion of other considerations like what kind of person this is and that you're already involved in a relationship and so on is just not going to cut it.

    It's funny that sometimes it sounds good to the mind, but what I've found is in practice sometimes physically attractive people who flirts with you is actually not that sexy for some reason. The conclusion I've come to is that mental/emotional masturbation precedes physical sex, and this only means that even if you're having sex with someone a large part of it is your own mind. So from that perspective, it's like you're just masturbating with a partner, the fact that there is physical contact doesn't really mean you've engaged the person, there's probably not that much intimacy in the true sense of the word. You're basically in a trance.

    So I would say the mind plays a big part and is very powerful, although as a side note I've found that there are different types of attraction too. My experience these days is that although there may be sexual attraction to someone that is physically attractive, and perhaps reasonably considered a strong attraction, it is qualitatively different from attractions that is deeper in nature. I recently met this woman who's a spiritual teacher, and although she's fairly good looking physically there's something that blows sexual attraction out of the water - last time I saw her I hardly said anything, we looked each other in the eyes for about 5 seconds and that was about it. Even so I am having some second thoughts about pursuing anything, it so happens that I have been pursuing something with another woman - and although there's no commitment there I just feel I should follow through with it. From the man-whore school of thought I suppose this makes me somewhat handicapped in terms of frequency of having sex, but that's just the way I am.

  • IslandWoman
    IslandWoman

    Bimbos and Himbos (thanks teenyuck for that one! ) provide a valuable service.

    They help the rest of us know that our loving partner does not have two cents worth of self-control and maybe even does not have two cents worth of love.

    IW

  • Mecurious?
    Mecurious?
    it so happens that I have been pursuing something with another woman - and although there's no commitment there I just feel I should follow through with it.

    Why? What are you following through on? Are you already in a sexual realtionship with her? If not then your a free agent. How does she fell about you? Is she following through with it? Sounds like to me you have strong feelings for her already. True?

    Merc'

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    I guess I don't know any bimbos personally. All the women I have ever met and/or worked with (and I work in a building with many) have always respected the fact that I'm unavailable. And while I'm no Brad Pitt, I'm not ugly either.*

    rocketman of the I haven't met a bimbo class

    *rocketman of the maybe I really am ugly class

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