Nina - first of all (((((hugs)))) and happy anniversary wishes to you and Big Tex.
I too was disgusted by the self-serving reply, totally devoid of any comfort. Dosen't surprise me at all though.
. we wonder if it was really appropriate to take out your anger .
We received similar comments when our reaction to our daughters suicide did not coincide with what the local PO and fellow elders thought was appropriate.
Again, I am so sorry you had to go through all of this - but I applaud your courage and tenacity to follow through with the letters you wrote.
Like you - if I had a generous amount of disposable income, I would file a lawsuit. I would lose, but giving them some grief/trouble would be compensation enough.
Love,
Mak and Sabine