by Aztec 46 Replies latest jw friends
Does true love exist?
I'm a skeptic by nature, although not necessarily a very logical one. I believe in love but I am not sure of the idea of one true love or soulmates. What do you think?
~Aztec
Oh side question, do you believe in love at first site?
Interesting that you bring this up. I work part time as a bartender.and last night I was discussing this with 3 people sitting at the bar. One man was 65 years old(Joe) , one man was 24 years(Jim) and the woman(Deb) was about 40. No one knew eachother.(Sometimes I think we can be more open with strangers than with people we know..maybe thats why I come to this site)
Jim was having doubts about marrying his gf of 5 years.He felt that maybe there was someone out there that might be better for him although he was pretty happy in his relationship. Joe felt that you meet that right person once in your lifetime and you should not let it pass you up. I said I felt this was a fantasy and that there are ALOT of right people(finding them is the trick) .I also pointed out that I thought that my husband was the right person but later found out this was not the case at all (I married someone Just like my father....bad mistake!!) Deb was on the fence .
I also felt that Jim was too young to get married, I think your not really mature enough to make that decision until your into your 30's...you know yourself better and what you want out of life and a mate.
So to answer your question...I don't really believe in the "soulmate" concept.
I also don't believe in love at first site.....just because you are strongly attracted to someone's looks there is no way you know what is going on in their head....likes ,dislikes, goals,habits.. ect ect. I have fallen for very good looking men to find out later that I could'nt stand their personalities , I also met guys that I was not attracted to initally and later got to know them and they became more and more attractive to me.
I disagree with you bothI saw Thunder's 501 blue jean clad butt and I was done for. I was 19 and had resolved to raise Melanie by myself, then he skated into my life. He had seen me a few months before and couldn't forget me. He knew I had a baby and I was a little heavy. When I came back from Florida and he saw me all tan and terrific he said 'where's your shadow" (extra weight) Not quite as good as he had me at hello but it workedFor Thunder and I it was love at first sight and for me it never has dimmed. He is first and foremost my best friend. So marrying young is not always a bad thing if your heart is there go for it. I truly believe in soulmates I have mine he is 5'73/4 dark hair laughing brown eyes and a smile to die for. Oh and that ass hmmmm still gets me clad in 501's
<20 + years and still going, 19 years and 2 months married>
Does true love exist?
Yes
Oh side question, do you believe in love at first site?Infatuation perhaps, but not true love. That takes time to develop.
I was in a graduate seminar once, and we were in a circle discussing Romeo and Juliet. An education major across from me (I, understand, was a literature major, and am still snobbish enough to point out the difference), a quintessential surfer dude, brushed back a lock of blond hair and expostulated:
"It's like, you read about their love, and it's just, you know, so real. I mean, Romeo and Juliet, that's it, right? I totally would -- I think we all would -- like to experience that sometime. And Shakespeare was so on, you know what I mean? He was so there, you know he must have felt love like that too. And Romeo and Juliet gave themselves so completely, love engulfed them, and you couldn't even tell them apart, they were one. It's just such an awesome force that, like, you'd love to have, to love love, right?"
After some more of this, I couldn't take it. Love, I interrupted, was not the sole subject of the play, or at least I hoped it wasn't. Romeo and Juliet's affections were transient; their feelings were a volatile conflagration, to be burnt out by the quotidian affairs of Verona's day if not by their own suicides at night. And then, thinking of my wife at home, the stack of bills on the coffee table, her swollen stomach, any moment about to give birth, and I said:
"You know, Romeo and Juliet wouldn't have lasted a week. Real love is paying the bills. It's grocery shopping for pickles and ice cream at two in the morning. It's cleaning the apartment and doing laundry and punching a clock at some kitschy department store because your student loans won't pay the rent. It's waking up to the same ugly set of bad habits and imperfections, knowing it'll never end, and being okay with that."
My definition isn't very soul-swooning, I suppose, but it's the kind of love I've come to know and feel comfortable in. Things didn't work out so well for Romeo and Juliet anyway, did they?
Dedalus
XJW: I don't know what happened I wrote it and it showed for me then poof it was gone ...hmmmm pickin on me I'm gonna tell CJ LOL
Maybe for some.I don't honestly think I would want to love someone like that, though. They way I hear people talk about it, its almost like their "soul-mate" is heroin. I can't see it that way, and I would hate the thought of loosing myself in another person. To (mis)quote Harlan Ellison, "Love aint nothing but sex mispelled."
Its just my opinion but that people who have this amazing deep devoted love for another person, are basically in need of someone to worship. And that's fine, but it's not my thing.
I don't believe that there is one and only one person for you. There are thousands, actually.
I didn't use to believe in love at first sight until it happened to me in 1977. My office phone rang and a voice said, "Mr. Tyrrell, my name is Susan Mcgraw. I was given your name by the production manager of Viscount Productions. I have just graduated with a master's in speech and drama from Miami University, and I'd like to talk to you about possible employment."
I came within an inch of telling her that I had no positions available, but instead I told her to come on over.
About ten minutes later, the receptionist called to tell me I had a visitor, and I told the receptionist to hang on, I'd come out and get the visitor. I did.
I rounded the corner into the lobby and sitting there was the most georgeous woman I had ever in my life seen. All of a sudden I felt all choked up. I didn't trust my tongue. And she had a strange look on her face as well, like she was trying to figure something out. I didn't trust myself to put one foot in front of the other.
Amazing that she was in a white and black dress, I was in a barely off-white 3 piece suit. We even looked as if we were made for each other.
We went to my office and talked all afternoon. At one point, she put her hand on my arm while we were talking. I looked at her hand, and then I let my gaze drift up to her eyes and then I smiled. She looked as if she would melt.
After work, we went out to dinner. And for the next four days she was in my office every day. And I called her at night.
The short version is that we both fell in love at first sight. We went to Charleston, SC for the weekend; we went to Hilton Head for a long weekend after that. We were inseparable. Within three months we were engaged.
And then disaster struck. I will not reveal the exact nature of the disaster other than to say that it had to do with the federal government, namely the IRS, who was up to no good with me. It had nothing to do with us. Have you ever had a team of government attorneys out to get you and put you in jail for a couple of years? You should try it sometime. It will change you in ways you never expected.
The end result is that I - for reasons that were totally my fault - lost the love of my life by making a terrible descision regarding my future. I wanted to spare her what I thought was coming on. I have wished with all my heart I could go back and do what I have known, even at the time, was the right thing to do. Of course, that's an empty dream, but I do wish for it.
I have been in love with Susan ever since. I was in love with her the night I left...and on each and every night & day since. I will take my love for her to my grave, and that will be the only way I will be able to stop thinking of her with every breath I take. She was perfect in every way, and the failure of our relationship was totally my fault.
So yes, love at first sight is possible. And if it happens to you, don't let the love of your life get ruined like mine did. You'll never get over it.
francois
Git: You are so mistaken I feel sorry for you. When you love someone like that you don't lose your self at all, if anything the person that loves you back upbuilds you and allowes you to be all that you can. Thunder is the only one in my life that didn't expect me to be something I wasn't, he loved me for me the real me and it took some time to deprogram but I was able to reach who I truly am. As I said I feel sorry that you feel that way but you are so wrong
Francois.....you're stories never cease to amaze me.
Was Susan the one who reminds you of Charlize Theron ?
