District Convention: Give God Glory

by Nickey 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nickey
    Nickey

    Well, the DC is coming around my way yet again. Except, I don't think I can do it again... hope I don't get for telling the fam that. WHY does if have to be ALL DAY? Among other things, I can't sit there all day like that... listening to the same ramblings and contradictions.

    And on top of that, a known child molester has the nerve to email the program out to remind people to go. Some of the topics discussed are so ironic.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    District Convention

    Of

    Jehovah’s Witnesses

    Program 2002-2003

    GIVE GOD GLORY

    FRIDAY

    "You are worthy, Jehovah,…to receive the glory." — Revelation 4:11

    Morning

    9:30 Music

    9:40 Song No. 96 and Prayer

    9:50 Assembled to Glorify God

    10:20 Blessed Are Those Who Give Glory to God

    10:50 Song No. 79 and Announcements

    11:00 Creation Declares the Glory of God

    11:20 Walk in the Way of integrity

    11:50 Keynote Address: Glorious Prophetic Visions Spur Us On!

    12:20 Song No. 63 and Intermission

    Afternoon

    2:00 Music

    2:10 Song No. 111

    2:15 Jehovah's Glory Revealed to Humble Ones

    2:35 Symposium: The Prophecy of Amos—Its Message for Our Day

    *Speak God’s Word With Boldness

    *Divine Judgment Against the Wicked

    *Jehovah Examines the Heart

    3:35 Song No. 160 and Announcements

    3:45 Avoid the Snare of Alcohol Abuse

    4:05 Jehovah, Our ‘Fortress in Times of Distress’

    4:30 "The Good Land"—Foregleam of Paradise

    5:00 Song No. 4 and Closing Prayer

    SATURDAY

    "Declare among the nations his glory." — Psalm 96:3

    Morning

    9:30 Music

    9:40 Song No. 59 and Prayer

    9:50 Daily Text Reminders Stir Us to Declare God’s Glory

    10:00 Symposium: "Reflect Like Mirrors the Glory of Jehovah"

    *Spreading the Good News Everywhere

    *Removing the Veil From Those Blinded

    *Doing So More Fully in Our Ministry

    11:00 Song No. 193 and Announcements

    11:10 Hated Without Cause

    11:40 Living Up to Our Dedication Glorifies God

    12:10 Song No. 202 and Intermission

    Afternoon

    2:00 Music

    2:10 Song No. 18

    2:15 Cultivating a Christlike View of Greatness

    2:35 Tired but Not Tiring Out

    3:05 "Be Liberal, Ready to Share"

    3:30 Song No. 12 and Announcements

    3:40 Beware of "the Voice of Strangers"

    4:10 Glorify God "With One Mouth"

    4:30 Our Children—A Precious Inheritance

    5:00 Song No. 164 and Closing Prayer

    SUNDAY

    "Do all things for God’s Glory" — 1 Corinthians 10:31

    Morning

    9:30 Music

    9:40 Song No. 175 and Prayer

    9:50 Daily Text Reminders Help Us to Glorify Jehovah

    10:00 Parents, Build Up the Family Circle

    10:20 How Youths Are Praising Jehovah

    11:00 Song No. 157 and Announcements

    11:10 DRAMA: Boldly Witnessing Despite Opposition

    11:55 Declare the Good News "Without Letup"

    12:15 Song No. 92 and Intermission

    Afternoon

    1:40 Music

    1:50 Song No. 201 and Prayer

    2:00 Public Discourse: Who Are Giving God Glory Today?

    2:45 Song No. 113 and Announcements

    2:50 Summary of The Watchtower

    3:20 "Keep Bearing Much Fruit" to Jehovah’s Glory

    4:05 Song No. 212 and Closing Prayer

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    Excellent work here, Nickey

    Thankyou ! ! !

    Keep it coming man

  • Mary
    Mary

    Wow! Funny, my program is a bit different than yours:

    FRIDAY

    "You are worthy, Ted Jaracz to receive the glory." — Revelation 4:11

    Morning

    9:30 Music

    9:40 Song No. 96 and Opening Prayer To Get Us Through the Day

    9:50 Assembled to Glorify the Governing Body

    10:20 Blessed Are Those Who Give All Their Money To Us

    10:50 Song No. 79 and Some Boring Announcements

    11:00 Pedophila and the Glory of A Good Cover-Up

    11:20 Dead Man Walking

    11:50 Keynote Address: Glorious Prophetic Visions By Means of LSD!

    12:20 Song No. 63 and Intermission, thank God!!

    Afternoon

    2:00 Music

    2:10 Song No. 111

    2:15 Stay Alive Till 2075!!

    2:35 Symposium: The Prophecy of Fredrick Franz-------Thanks For Screwing Us Big Time!

    *Speak God’s Word to a Brick of Cheese -----Cause No One Else Is Listening

    *Wake-Up!!

    *Jehovah Examines the Heart, Ironically The Governing Body Doesn't

    3:35 Song No. 160 and Some More Boring Announcements, Telling Us To Sit the Hell Down In Our Seats and Pay Attention

    3:45 Avoid Letting Anyone Know Your Abuse of Alcohol

    4:05 Jack Daniels, Our ‘Fortress in Times of Distress’

    4:30 "The Good Land"—Previously Known As Your Home, Which We Now Own.

    5:00 Song No. 4 and Boring Closing Prayer

    SATURDAY

    Morning

    9:30 Ga-Ga-Music

    9:40 Song No. 59 and Prayer

    9:50 Lottery Tickets: Our Only Salvation

    10:00 Symposium: "Silent Lambs And Our Plans For Bill Bowen"

    *Faking Your Hours In Service----A Fine Example For New Ones

    *Removing the Veil From Those Blinded-------Everyone Here, Please Take Off Your Veil

    *What Did You Bring For Lunch Today?

    11:00 Song No. 193 and Announcements That Will Put You To Sleep Again

    11:10 Hated With Cause

    11:40 Show Me The Money! God Loves A Cheerful Giver!

    12:10 Song No. 202 and time for a frigging beer............

    Afternoon

    2:00 Music That Grates On Your Nerves

    2:10 Song No. 18

    2:15 Why Jesus Is Not Your Saviour-----Because We Said So

    2:35 Tired, Horny and Sleepy: Our Newest Governing Body Members

    3:05 Durecell Batteries: Last Longer Than A Prophetic Date

    3:30 Song No. 12 and Announcements. Time To Take a Piss

    3:40 Beware of "the Voice of Strangers In Your Head"

    4:10 Glorify Us "With One Mouth"

    4:30 Our Children—A Precious Inheritance that We Care Nothing About

    5:00 Song No. 164 and Closing Prayer. Time To Hit The Local Bars

    SUNDAY

    Morning

    9:30 Music----Or Something Like It

    9:40 Song No. 175 and Prayer, Thanking God This Is the Last Day Of This Boring Assembly

    9:50 Daily Text Reminders Remind Us Never to Go to Another Assembly Again

    10:00 Parents: Get Your Children Deprogrammed Now

    10:20 How Youths Are Praising Jehovah by Not Squeeling on Elders Who Are Pedophiles

    11:00 Song No. 157 and Announcements That No One Listens To

    11:10 DRAMA: Pharisees and The Governing Body: Two Groups Of Leaders, One Destiny

    11:55 The Urbun Myth Of Duff Beer

    12:15 Song No. 92 and Intermission

    Afternoon

    1:40 Music

    1:50 Song No. 201 and Prayer

    2:00 Public Discourse: Our Failed Prophecies----Do They Piss You Off?

    2:45 Song No. 113 and Announcements

    2:50 Summary of The Botchtower

    3:20 "Keep Bearing Much Fruit" By Sleeping With As Many People As Possible

    4:05 Song No. 212 and Closing Prayer That Is Always Like the Energizer Bunny----It Keeps Going and going and goin.............

  • blondie
    blondie

    Yours sounds more interesting, Mary.

    Blondie

  • riz
    riz

    Damn, Mary!! Those were hilarious.

    I especially liked the "Symposium:..... *What did you bring for lunch today?

    too funny, girl!

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Mary that was hilarious! I was in stitches reading the assembly program.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    I'm curious. Is it at the conventions where baptisms are done? Where in the program would they be scheduled?

  • blondie
    blondie

    Concerned mama,

    The baptism talk is always the last talk on Saturday morning (district or circuit)

    11:40 Living Up to Our Dedication Glorifies God

    Blondie

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Thank you, Blondie.

  • Nickey
    Nickey

    Mary, that is so true.

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