I missed it all, all the normal kid things.
I wanted to be a cheerleader soooooooo bad. I was able to ride in the riding club and loved my horses. I won alot and was riding club queen for a few weeks , until the CO , came to visit and told us that we should be refreshed for Sat. morning service instead of out riding horses late at night.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it wouldnt last, for one thing I was shocked my dad even let us do this, but he was caught up in the riding club and we had friends there,,,,,,,,some witnesses but most were not. So I savored the time I did have and I am grateful for at least experiences it just a bit. But I still dream I am riding in the rodeo , still doing what I never got to finish.
I miss having a normal childhood in that a kid was allowed to be a kid. In my home everything we did was looked at under a microscope to see if it as pleasing to Jehovah. The way we did our hair, our clothes, our TV, our anger, everything. We were always getting the daily lectures of pleasing God above all eles. It was a lonely time, except when I was in school , which I loved, that was hard too, being different but the kids knew I wanted to be normal and most didnt torment me for being a JW, they felt sorry for me.
I was lucky enough as I got older to have a few girlfriends at the KH that were just as double life livers as I was. We shared our secrets and did our fair share of rebelling against our parents and to this day I doubt they know the things we did. I for that am not sorry for doing now,,, although at the time, I did feel the guilt that I was disobeying my father.
