In your experience, do JW's show hospitality?

by Gopher 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Gopher

  And I don't just mean "formal" hospitality that is scheduled on the announcement board for visiting speakers and travelling overseers.

  I mean real, from the heart, love of strangers (xenophilia in Greek). Xenophobia (fear of strangers) is the antithesis of hospitality.

  When you visited other halls where NOBODY knew you (and you weren't the guest speaker or the travelling overseer), did people go out of their way to make you feel welcome? Or did they mutter to themselves, "I wonder who the stranger is?"

  Was there a fear to extend kindness to a stranger because he might be disfellowshipped?

  Did something like this ever happen to you.... I visited a hall in the American state of Kansas. After sitting through the Sunday meeting, I waited alone near the back of the hall for about 20 minutes while people sat in their little circles, chatting. These after all, were the people they were "comfortable" with. After all that time, finally somebody came up to me and said -- "hey where are you from?"

  Is that experience to be excused as just being one of those "cold" congregations?
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  Prisca

  When my sister and I visited San Diego on an International Convention Tour, we were treated like royalty. We were warmly greeted by our hosts, and every night that we were staying with our hosts, we visited a different family who warmly fed and received us. What made it interesting was that our hosts were black, and most of their friends were too, and on one night we were at a party where my sister and I were the only whites in the room!!

  Ok, this is not what you were thinking of, but for some reason the memories were triggered by reading this thread.

  I think hospitality is on the wane in general. I remember as a kid visiting different congregations when my Dad was giving Sunday talks (he was an elder in our cong for many years). Frequently we would be invited to stay for lunch or dinner, but this was because we lived in the country, and it would take at least 2 hours to visit these congregations.

  In the 80s, we used to have congregational get-togethers for many reasons but as the 90s came in they became fewer. The elders started to clamp down on large gatherings, and I think this put a downer on people wanting to organise events. Sure, you might be invited out to someone's place for dinner, but with the constant demands put upon the average JW by the WTS, not to mention working, school, family matters etc, who would have the time to spend with themselves, let alone others?
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  blondie

  Gopher,

  Irrev and I traveled a great deal while we were attending meetings still. We tried to visit other congregations. I would say that 2/3 ignored us and 1/3 were friendly. We visited one congregation and when they found out we were baptized, they disappeared. We visited one 4 times in 1 year and by the 4th time someone talked to us. I mentioned no one had that last 3 times; they looked embarrassed and said the CO had chewed them out for that.

  The most amazing ones were when my husband "was" the visiting speaker and no one signed up for hospitality. The chairman just shrugged his shoulders and said he couldn't take us out because he was having "other" people over. On another occasion, a brother signed up at the last minute and his wife would not even talk to us. We pulled into the driveway and I had Irrev go up and tell them that we had to go home, that I had become sick realizing how upset his wife was. That caused a little stir.

  If congregations are friendly, it is because the people there would be friendly even if they weren't JWs.

  Blondie
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  ashitaka

  I think it all depends on the cong. One cong differs from another. Some are very kind (towards JWs only of course). Others are apathetic from internal power struggles, and everyone in that cong is at the throats of the other. Probly it's regional, too. In Jersey you're less likely to find hospitality than in the south.

  ash
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  xjw_b12

  Interesting Question. I've been out for over 7 years now, but before I left I noticed a change in the way new ones were welcomed.

  If you showed up at a KH with someone from the congregation, you were treated warmly.

  If you showed up at a KH unaccompanied, but someone in the congregation knew you, and they came up to speak with you first, people relaxed, and you were treated warmly.

  If you showed up at a KH unaccompanied, and no one knew you, everyone in the congreagation, would instantly stiffen, until brother and/or sister soandso, went up to them and introduced themselves. (every congregation has a few of those brave good-hearted souls) Then based on brother and/or sister soandso's reaction (facial expressions / body language) the rest of us would decide whether to go up and introduce ourselves.

  I found this feeling of apprehension, bordereing on paranoia, become more evident as time went on. Stangers at the KH = possible confrontation and or trouble. Why would they be here? Surely people searching for the "truth" wouldn't just walk in from the street would they? Which flies in the face of the original purpose of the Sunday Meetings, when you had the "Public Talk" and had actually handed out invitations to people to attend. "All Welcome "........ "Free"........etc.

  Try walking into a KH now, where no one knows you, or attempt to attend a circuit or district assembly without you lapel card.

  You will find hospitality, has been replaced by hostility.
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  unique1

  The ones I know were, but I am from the South, I hear most southerners are hospitable. But they were only hospitable to OTHER JW's, never to non-believing family memebers or other worldly people.
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  Gwydion

  One time when I visited a large Kingdom Hall as a stranger with no advanced notice because I was far from home. I entered in street clothes and changed into my suit in the bathroom. I was used to a small Kingdom Hall with just two bathrooms one for men and one for women. This one had a large public style restroom. While I was changing, Four big gentlemen came in and grilled me with 20 questions about who I was and what I was doing there before I suppose they gathered I was not a threat and let me be. Needless to say after that I didn't feel very comfortable. A few people approached me as if I were some sort of novelty but it was a very different experience I could not believe the sheer number of people, there must have been 120 or so people in the congregation. The congregation I regularly attended at the time rarely exceeded 30 and I had never visited one that had exceeded 60 before. Maybe it was just a country boy in the big city syndrome that made me feel uncomfortable and had nothing to do with being a Witness. It was just one bad experience. I had visited half a dozen other congregations and the experience's were although in some cases shocking not like that. Of course in each of these cases I was at least familiar with most of the faces even though I did not really know them.
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  Gopher

  Blondie, I couldn't believe this one:

  The chairman just shrugged his shoulders and said he couldn't take us out because he was having "other" people over.

  If that's not fear of strangers, I don't know what is.

  I thought that one of the Bible's requirements for an elder is being hospitable. In many congregations I failed to see where they took the lead in this. More often than not the more hospitable ones were the humbler ones who didn't necessarily have a position.

  But the responses on this thread have confirmed that there is a general distrust of visitors in many congregations of JW's worldwide. If you're not "one of them", count on getting the silent treatment.
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  metatron

  I agree with the post that hospitality has markedly declined.

  In addition, YES, the 'he might be df'd' thought does inhibit Witnesses

  metatron
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  freedom96

  I have compared the "love" from the Kingdom Halls with that of other churches, and I have noticed that the "love" from the Kingdom Halls was much less, and much more insincere.

  Face it, most of the witnesses don't want to be at the hall anyways. They have to go. At other churches, my experience is that they are there because they want to be, and it shows in their attitude.