What Results When JW's Associate ONLY With Fellow JW's?

by minimus 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  shera

  Minimus, What it produces is arrested social development and the inability to deal with life as it really is. By cutting oneself off from the rest of the world you are creating an artificial existence and if you ever have to venture out from this biosphere, you will find you are ill-equipped to deal with reality. Further, by denying oneself social interaction with 99.99 percent of the planet’s population based entirely on religious prejudice, you are sowing the seeds of intolerance, aloofness, superiority, and possibly a cycle of hate to be passed on to your progeny.

  Nice reply
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  Jessica Rabbit

  I can tell you from experience that it has definitely had it's impact in my case. Not only was it hard trying to socialize with people once I was DF'd, but I had SO much to learn about people in general. I don't know how to word this right but growing up ONLY around other JWs, I had the impression we were actually cleaner people. I never thought twice about going to their house and eating dinner or whatever. I remember the first time I went over to our neighbors house it just seemed...well,...dirty. Isn't that horrible? Or if I was having a conflict with someone in the hall, the elders had to be involved to resolve it. Out here with the rest of humanity you just tend to business. If someone pisses you off, there is no little hen circle to gossip about it and get it off your chest. If a person has a problem with you in the world they let you know about it right then! I have definitely grown a thicker skin since I left. I used to be so darn sensitive. I am still a friendly person but I don't put up with people's crap anymore if they mess with me.

  What has always concerned me is all of the JW kids who take home school. I think that is really sad, because so many parents think they are protecting thier kids from extra worldy influences. I think it does more harm than good. Eventually the kid has to get a job, and I'm not talking about cleaning houses or offices.
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  minimus

  Living the life of a Witness means that you live in your own little world, your own little glass bubble. They call it a "protection". What it really is a delusion. It's fake, make-believe. It's horror/fantasy.
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  Matty

  Yes, it certainly is a bubble minimus, you described it very well. I now see my family totally engulfed in the Witness religion with no thought or comprehension that it just a ridiculous fantasy. Many of my family are home schooled, which makes it worse for them as interaction with non-witnesses is virtually non-existent.
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  Room 215

  The inevitable result to JWs who limit their association/intrapersonal relationships to their own kind is narrow-mindedness, egocentricity, an unwarranted sense of superiority, no social conscience, intolerance and quite often fiscal irresponsibility as they reinforce each other in the delusion that Armageddon's imminent arrival compels to forego higher education, rewarding careers, parenthood, home ownership or full development of any latent talents they may possess.
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  bebu

  Do you have any recent published comments on this teaching? I'm a non-JW friend, and I was just amazed at how friendly my JW neighbor is to me. She's quite devout, too, so when I learned that they were strongly encouraged NOT to socialize outside the group, I was mystified why she doesn't keep our relationship more circumspect.

  I wonder if it's been in her reading diet lately... (She brought me chocolates yesterday. Yep, she's a nice friend!)

  bebu
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  minimus

  bebu, some Witnesses may justify their association with you so that they can later study with you. If you told your neighbor that you have found a wonderful site named JWD, do you know what would happen to your friendship? Try it and you will see.
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  bebu

  Whoops. I really should make a comment.

  I talked a few months back with my JW nieghbor, as she has a very manipulative husband who has been trying to keep information away from her (financial) as they might be divorcing. We talked about her need for information, and how withholding information was his way of exerting power. Thinking constantly of the WT, I told her about North Korea--the citizens cut off from the rest of the world, all thinking that they are the happiest people on earth, living in a paradise... If phonelines or television station could be brought in, they'd be shocked. I also shared the following story that my husband heard on Nightline a few months back:

  In N. Korea sirens would wail and announcements would blare that the US has just sent nuclear missiles to blow them up. Everyone is in unimagineable panic. Then, after time, the trembling people are told over intercoms that their noble leader Kim Song Il (I can't keep this name straight! Think that's right.) has just intervened (divinely?) and prevented the nuclear blast from occurring. Result: absolute hatred of the US, absolute adoration of their president. There is no one to ever contradict the N Korean "food". (Did anyone else see this program? Did I get the story right?)

  Whenever I can, I encourage the apostate idea to think for herself, and to follow the Biblical exhortation to test all things and hold onto that which is good.

  bebu
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  bebu

  I know what you mean, Minimus! She's a nice friend, but I know at this point there's most likely a condition. She married late in life, and the struggles in her marriage are likely a result of her being unaware that a wife is to be SUBMISSIVE in a way she's never had to be as a single JW. She even told me that she's not too good at taking orders from people ("really?" I thought).

  That's why I can't really blast her with JWD. She's not online anyway. I approach her mildly. I have a nice stack of things for her to read about 1914/607/587, though. Sometime when she's over for coffee again, I'll say, "y'know, I was trying to find out more info about the 1914 thing myself, and ran across these..." She reads the things I give her; she trusts my motives. I want her to see if there are answers; see if she can learn to think.

  I am also wondering if I can help her see that if she really believes a particular theology for its own merits, she doesn't necessarily have to part with it if she ever came to see that the WT is NOT God's channel, God's organization today. She'll need to re-examine everything, but plenty of people hold similar and variations of JW theologies without also swallowing that the GB is the F&D slave.

  She's a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day. (Cliches ad nauseum...)

  bebu
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  cruzanheart

  My therapist told me early on in therapy that it is very unhealthy to have only ONE support group in your life: a religion, your neighbors, your workmates, etc., because if that support group is taken away you have nothing. And that's what it's like to leave the organization. You're left high and dry, and the first panicky urge is to go running back to the mother ship because you have no one else.

  In the past year, I've gotten to know each one of my neighbors on my little cul-de-sac, joined the PTA Board at my children's school, gone to almost every school function, gone out to lunch with my friends at work, and have gotten to know some of the lovely people on this board. I am trying to build several support groups. It was hard at first, but I'm getting used to it!

  Nina