JW Mother Dying.... Not a Big Deal.... But it Should Be

by Zoos 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  Zoos

  I’ve been shunned for many years so her passing doesn’t really constitute a loss for me. Her and her husband made it clear many years ago they didn’t want a homo in their family. Request granted. The only thing that pains me is the assumption that this is supposed to pain me... but it doesn’t. That religion destroyed everything.

  I’m not devoid of feelings. This affects me. I’ve flirted with tears today. But I refuse to give way to emotions that have no business existing given the history.

  I’m confused.
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  TTWSYF

  I'm so sorry for your loss...on many fronts.

  God bless you brother, I imagine that this will affect you in ways that may surprise you.

  You and your family are in my prayers

  TTWSYF
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  sparky1

  My mother died over 19 years ago. She was a very, very difficult person and never once in my life did she say to me: "I love you." She never expressed this to any of my sisters or brother either. On her deathbed, I lay across her body crying and sobbing for what seemed like an eternity. I cried not for her death but for the lost family life and all the opportunities for love, affection and family unity that she threw away. I cried for all the pain she caused us. I cried not for my mother but because my siblings and I really never had a 'mother'. Go ahead and cry Zoos. Cry not for the mother that you did have but for the mother you should have had.
  

  Sorry for your loss.
  
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  Pete Zahut

  I’m not devoid of feelings. This affects me. I’ve flirted with tears today. But I refuse to give way to emotions that have no business existing given the history.

  Don't be surprised if the enormity of this hits you sometime after she's gone. If I were you, I'd make an attempt to visit her. If nothing else, you'll always be able to say that you tried and erred on the side of love. Bad as some of them may be, we only get one Mother. This is your last chance to foil this Watchtower fueled situation and not let them take away your right to say goodbye to your mother properly and grieve her after she's gone.
  
  
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  LV101

  Zoos - I'm so sorry and sometimes I think it's harder on one grieving over a relationship they were deprived of. Very difficult on the adult child -- some excellent advice above.

  Get rest and keep care of yourself.
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  smiddy3

  That`s so sad Zoos ,I wish I could offer words of encouragement .

  Take care

  I think sparky1 summed it up beautifully
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  The Fall Guy

  Zoos, the cult mentality effectively turns a JW into a possessed individual. They become worker-bees.

  They no longer think or act for themselves, because they have handed over control of every aspect of their lives to a money-making corporation, not to "Jehovah" as they have been conned into believing.

  Our relatives with this mindset willingly terminate our family ties and cease to be our family. In recent years, I have been "stoned to death" by my colluding siblings - not because of any judicial action by the cult, but simply because I was informing them of factual media items about the org which they described as "negative."

  Christian love, eh?
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  Still Totally ADD

  Zoos so sorry for what you are going through. The cult of hate has ruin so many families. Hopefully some day you will look back and find peace in your soul over how you have been treated. We all feel for you. Take care. Still Totally ADD
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  Giordano

  "I'm confused"......as you should be. Your an orphan now. How in the hell did that happen before you could have a chance to set things right?

  No chance in hell.

  The one person in your life that could have set your life in order just left you without a forwarding address.

  Who and what you were born into.....not asked for or demanded......... was emotionally abandoned by the one person who could have nourished you who could have completed you...........but decided that her life....her beliefs were more important then yours.

  Yes this will hurt and will continue to hurt for the rest of your life. But it does not have to define you and the hurt can be controlled.

  It's very rare for a human being to out live ones parents emotionally. It's rare for a person to say I was loved unconditionally by my parent(s). We don't get to control that part of our lives.

  It's you that has to go forward now.......... not backwards. You look for your light not her's.

  Let her passing be just that.....ultimately it had nothing to do with you. You would have made it different but you were never allowed to do that.

  She lost your light and her way back to you.
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  The Bethelite

  Sparky said perfectly

  "I cried not for her death but for the lost family life and all the opportunities for love, affection and family unity that she threw away. I cried for all the pain she caused us. I cried not for my mother but because my siblings and I really never had a 'mother'. Go ahead and cry Zoos. Cry not for the mother that you did have but for the mother you should have had."

  When my mother dead I was mad. Mad because she could have made i so much better. I was really relieved because her hell was now over but the hell she created with her bull shit religion still goes on with my children and even my grand children.

  Cry for her, because she was truly duped. If you don't you will be like them devoid of any REAL emotion. The mindless drones in a religion that has the ability to turn their back on their own children!

  Only men could create this not a god.