Walk Away or Fight?

by Bendrr 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bendrr
    Bendrr

    I've posted in the past about some tension with some coworkers. I'm sure some of it is my fault. I've got a quick temper and the stress at work really brings it out in me. But we're just like any group of average guys who work together all day, we get mad at each other and by the end of the day we get over it and we're laughing about it. We've found the best way to get over an argument is after cooling off for a little while to start joking about it. It works. You'll always hear laughter in our shop.

    I've worked very hard to get along with the tire guys and it's taken a lot of time and effort but it has paid off....with all but one. That *one* has become a real problem.

    Jerry is one of the tire/oil change techs. He's a 21-year old kid who started with us last year. I say kid because that's exactly what he is to me, a kid. For his first few months we got along great. Jerry came in with a great attitude, worked hard, and showed up early for work every day. The the "real" Jerry started to come out once he was established in the job and started gunning for promotion to work in the office as a service writer (which is NEVER going to happen). Pushy, know-it-all, insubordinate, backstabbing, instigator Jerry replaced "new guy" Jerry and he even stopped coming in on time.

    Yesterday it started coming to a showdown with me and Jerry. I pulled in a Mazda for a brake inspection, plus it had an oil change. I was going to do the oil change myself and put one of the tire guy's numbers on it so they'd get paid for the oil change. That didn't work for Jerry. I picked up my air gun to take the tires off and he ran over and raised the vehicle on up to do the oil change right then. I told him to let it back down, I was doing a brake inspection. "No, I'm gonna do the oil change". I went over to the lift controls and started lowering the vehicle back down....with Jerry still under it. Well I did tell him to get his ass out of the way. Jerry came over and got all up in my face "don't you ever let a car down while I'm under it!" I said "don't you ever come over and take over one I'm working on, boy! you can do your damn oil change when I'm done!"

    The manager came over and got between us, with Jerry still yelling. I'd had it. I told him and the other tire guys watching us, "Life as you know it is about to fu*king change! You guys aren't running this shop anymore." Jerry went and pouted the rest of the day and Wayne and I had another talk. I told him again that I was tired of the tire guys running the shop, that he and they need to remember who turns the labor that pays everyone. (I alone generate well over a hundred grand a year in labor, that pays me and at least two other tire guys basically). I also told Wayne that if Jerry ever gets up in my face like that again I'm gonna whup his ass since Wayne refuses to do anything about him.

    Today, Jerry started it all over again. First he shows up an hour late, and of course nothing is said because the tire guys show up when they feel like it. Meanwhile I'd been there since 7am doing their work until they showed up.

    This morning it was something so stupid it's unbelievable. Since we've got a mix of black and white guys in the shop, which means different tastes in music, we came up with a way to share the radio and make everyone happy. Up till noon the shop radio (which I personally spent almost $300 on and no one else contributed even one penny) is tuned to "John Boy and Billy" (morning show) and then the rock & roll station. After 12 they can have it, which seems pretty fair because they actually have control of it for the longer part of the day. So this morning I turned it to the country music station. Which got some laughs going because the two black tire guys started trying to sing along. Then I started laughing and singing with them and they got to laughing and we were all having a good time. But it was country and I was happy so Jerry wasn't. He kept on and on and on, bitching about how he hated country and didn't want to hear it. I said "no problem Jerry, after 12 it's yours" and then I added "you know, I didn't care much for rap and r&b but I gave it a chance and learned to like some of it so we could all get along".

    With that, he just exploded. Got in my face again yelling at me "don't even fuc*ing talk to me!". Then when the assistant manager tried to step in Jerry pushed him away and started yelling that after close we were going to settle it in the parking lot. And for the rest of the day he was non-stop talking about kicking my ass after work.

    I told the assistant manager "that's it Will, I'm tired of being threatened and you guys do nothing about it. Call Chris Battle over here right now!" (Chris is our company's general manager, oversees all the stores) Jerry heard that and said "no we're gonna settle it today, you and me". I told him "no, we're gonna see who's still here come Monday morning".

    I just went back to work. Laughed and joked with the other guys and we had a blast. Jerry pouted all day and kept talking about kicking my ass. Once closing time came around, I clocked out and headed to my car. Jerry came walking up behind me. "Hey man, what's up? Come on! You wanna talk some sh*t now?" The other guys were watching. I turned around and looked him right in the eye. "I'm not gonna fight you Jerry. You're not worth my job".

    And walked away.

    "PUSSY!"

    Without even looking back, I told him "I've been called worse by better". And got in my car and drove away.

    Sorry y'all, I just had to vent about it. Buncha stupid immature bullsh*t. The sooner that boy's gone, the better!

    I hate to say it but I'm afraid that when they do fire him he's gonna get violent.

    Mike.

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    You did good. As long as this guy kept his hands off you, you showed that you are the more mature person. Your boss, if I followed this account right, is the real pussy. My brother retired as chief of police, we rode together many a night, and I learned that a mans biggest enemy is his own mouth. Train yourself that the louder the asshole gets the softer you speak. Those listening and watching will side with you. Your mouth can get you into or out of a lot of trouble. This guy, Jerry, should be written up for being late, then if repeated, fired! Have a beer on me matey! Maverick

  • KGB
    KGB

    You know what I would do ? Coming from experience. I used to be a scrapper and would toss a fist at the drop of a dime in my past but now I am older and wiser. The next time he gets in your face ? call the police, then with the police report you go file a restraining order, with the restraining order he will not be allowed to come within 300 yards of you and that includes at work since this is where it all continues to happen. I would use the fact that you do not feel safe at work with the guy around and the courts will basically fire him. It's the bigger man who walks away from a fight and its the man who walks away that wins the fight...

  • Aztec
    Aztec

    You did the right thing Bendrr. No jerk is worth you losing your job. I've dealt with similar situations at work and I've learned to keep your tone of voice low and be polite and let the other person make themselves look stupid. I've lost it a few times and I've always regretted it. My temper does on occasion get me into trouble...LOL! You did good Bendrr.

    ~Aztec

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Aztec is right, I have regretted losing it in the past. I can not think of one time regretting when I kept calm. Maverick

  • Bendrr
    Bendrr

    Well I walked away yesterday and today. I could care less if he calls me "pussy".

    Like I said, I've been called worse by better. And besides, you are what you eat

    I'm expecting him to get fired come Monday morning. And when that happens, knowing Jerry like I do, I'm kind of expecting it to get ugly. He may very well get violent. I told the asst. manager before I left today that I'll make every effort to just walk away when he gets in my face. But if that punk lays one hand on me, well that's different. And that's what I'm anticipating Monday if he gets fired. I haven't been in a fight since grade school, and those were just your average schoolyard scuffles. I'd like to keep it that way.

    I don't like this situation one bit. Hopefully Monday morning will end it all uneventfully but I'm not going to assume the best. Knowing this guy, if they fire him Monday morning he may very well get violent. If he just wants to get in my face and yell some more that's fine, I'll just walk away again. But if he lays one hand on me, I'll put his ass in the hospital.

    What bothers me is that he knows where I live.

    Mike.

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Try not to think about it too much, I know that is easy to say and hard to do, but try. And don't be packin'! This is not school, this is the real world, people die, not good. Been stabbed and shot, you don't want to go there, trust me! Keep your work-mates close, and watch your back. Let me know how Monday goes. This worries me bro. Maverick

  • amicus
    amicus

    Hmmm,

    Some of my earliest memorys were of my dad and my uncle teaching my older brother and I how to "Indian wrestle". I suspect that the "Indian wrestling" was military training they had received in WWII and Korea. Sadly they both died in their early 50's so neither are around to answer the questions I finally realized I wanted to ask.

    Next they taught us how to box. I was about 5 when this began. I think I was 7 when firearm training began and at 10 my uncle (dad bowed out of this one) taught me how a "Marine" used the K-Bar. I wonder how many 10 year olds knew how to throw the K-Bar by grasping the handle and not the blade (like we would toss our pocketknives). Heh, on that note how many 10 year olds knew how to defend against a knife attack or knew that the only sure knife kill was the medula oblongata.

    I believe to this day that my dear father and my cool uncle weren't focused on violence, they had been raised as Native Americans in an area rife with prejudice and I believe they deemed these skills mandatory for survival.

    Most importantly is the admonition I was given to go with the "tools" they had provided me. My dad told me that I was only allowed to use the things I had been taught under two circumstances: 1. If someone tried to provoke an altercation and I could not talk my way out of it, or I was attacked and could not flee. 2. If I saw a woman or child being attacked or another man being attacked by a bully.

    My dad's wise words have served me well and I have lived through all circumstances described. So my advice is to avoid conflict at all costs. Honor is not lost by walking away from a jerk. But watch your back, jerks on occasion carry weapons and are dishonorable enough to use them.

    More importantly though, is that sidearm in your pic a colt 45? You see, everytime I look at the picture I instinctively try to palm the barrel to activate the safety just in case you hiccup...if not I'm just going to start ducking.

  • jelly
    jelly

    First you did the right thing, not fighting. Second you manager is an idiot and should be fired immediatly for letting this situation occur. Terry

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    horrible situation, but staying calm is the best to do. (and maybe call the police)
    Hope's everything went alright monday.

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