Let the shunning begin!

by Cicatrix 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Cicatrix
    Cicatrix

    Boy, this has just been my lucky week. Twice in one week I was the recipient of "active shunning" by former congregation members.

    Scene one-The local discount food place where all the blue collar folks (and a few smart upper crust ones) buy their food. I'm busy grocery shopping and Sister Zealous comes marching down the other side of the aisle, dutifully studying the cans on said shelf. And I mean marching. Her act registers somewhere around 1/2 on the Richter scale, and I go about my business. As I make my way down the next aisle, Sister Zealous' son comes ambling down the aisle. He walks slowly past me, staring straight ahead. He doesn't pick anything off from the shelves. Okaaaay, I think, and continue on. In aisle three, young unbaptised sister zealous comes marching down the aisle, a small facsimile of her mother, only she forgets to stare straight ahead and looks at me sternly, pursing her little unibrow. By this time, I've had about all the shunning I can take, and I smile a great big smile at her and wink. Man, she just flew around the corner. Next thing, I see Sister Zealous and the Jrs beating it for the door. I didn't see any groceries, though. Suddenly, the song "Devil In A Blue Dress" comes across the loud speakers. Yep-you guessed it. I was wearing a blue dress.

    Scene two-A few days later, my daughter and I are at the local video store . Another Sister Christian goes flying around me to my daughter's side, and gushes that she is sooo happy to see her. She asks my daughter where she is living now, and when her baby is due. She tells my daughter, who quit going to meetings before me, married an "unbeliever", and has lived happily ever after, vowing never to set foot in another Kingdom Hall in her life, that she will come and visit her when the baby is born. All the while Sister Christian, who has posted herself a mere two feet from me, is dutifully avoiding looking at me. So I say "Oh Hi-how have you beeeeeeeen" in that loving agape manner. Sister Christian blanches white, says goodbye and quickly walks away, managing only to piss off my daughter, who saw the "active shunning" game being played for the first time on her mom. And coincidentally, I was wearing a different blue dress:):)

    If those folks want to walk quietly by and not acknowlege my existence, okay by me. If they persist in playing games, using my children as pawns because they were never permitted to be baptised for various reasons, I will exercise my apostate charm and talk to them like an Agape Chatty Cathy, then "discuss" loudly enough with my children exactly what is going on so that the good citizens of my town can see how "loving" Jehovah's Witnesses really are:)

    Happy Summer Everyone,

    Devil In A Blue Dress

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    LOL!

    Good post.

    Dedalus

  • Goshawk
    Goshawk

    I'm sorry this is a bit off-topic but I couldn't resist after reading your post.


    How many here remember the "I'm with stupid" ===> t-shirts?

    Maybe the appropriate apostate t-shirt might read;

    I'm with the shunner

    or

    They are shunning me =====>


    Might be worth a chuckle,

    Goshawk

  • neyank
    neyank

    I understand that the shunning done by the WTS sales people harms people and breaks up families but I find it comical when they do it to me.

    Here you have people that really do think that they are Gods chosen people because they go to 5 sales meetings a week, get out and try to sell magazines that have constantly changing information in them and worship their leaders as if they really speak for God.

    While at the same time ignoring what Jesus said would be the mark of His true followers:
    If they have love for each other.

    Ignoring what Jesus said His followers should be doing: feading the hungry, sheltering the homeless, taking care of the elderly, ect, ect.........

    The JWs do NONE of these things.
    They worship the WT org. as if it is God Himself which IS idol worship. No ifs ands or buts.

    The JWs worship on orginisation that has had to change their teachings over and over again.

    The JWs worship an orginisation that IS guilty of being a false prophet.

    So the JWs shun former members when they no longer believe or wish to worship the WT idol?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    I really am laughing just thinking about it.

    They are members of a cult that has proven itself to be just that over and over again.

    So their shunning really is nothing short of humerous.

    And the real funny thing is that if the WT cult tells the JWs to no longer shun,then like any loyal member of a cult they would fall in line and no longer shun.

    Any one remember the game Simon Says?

    It fits the WT cult.

    Doesn't it?

    neyank


    neyank

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Cicatrix (great name btw): good for you, you did NOT play by their rules (Dubs).

    How tragic an existance they have, isn't it? Be glad you're not one to be made to feel awkward.

    Good for you for 'acknowledging' them, whether that's by speaking to them, or smiling/winking.

    Your daughter must have been so shocked by this ridiculous behaviour.

    Way to go Cicatrix: You rock baby!

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    Cincatrix,

    Your story was great....

    I'm glad you were not hurt by their actions. I shutter to think how a person that is depressed or mentally ill feels when this happens to them.

    "By their fruits you will recongnize them.....Every good tree produces fine fruit, but every rotten tree produces worthless fruit,..." (Matthew 7:16-20

    Goshawk,

    I love your t-shirt ideas. How about bumber stickers that say "Have you been shunned today?" or "Have you shunned today"

    Lisa

  • freein89
    freein89

    When I first DA'd myself, my sister dutifully shunned me, I think she actually took pleasure in it. I moved away, but a lot of non-JW's knew me around town, they knew my sister too and would ask her about me when they saw her in the grocery store or where ever. I found out that she would answer them "Oh she's fine blah, blah, blah" She would hear through others how the kids were or about my new job, that sort of thing and pass it along to the non-JW's. Now nothing she heard about how I was doing came from me because she wouldn't talk to me. But she PRETENDED to know how I was as if she were in normal contact with me. She did it because she was too ashamed to let non-JW's know she wouldn't talk to her own sister. What a hypocrite!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cicatrix
    Cicatrix

    Thanks all, for enjoying my humorous moments along with me:)

    Goshawk-I love the T shirt idea:) I was going to make a T with a large red A on the front of it as a gag.The Aeropostale clothing cracks me up, cause it reminds me of the word Apostate for some reason.I thought about dressing up as an Apostate for next Halloween-hehe-I could wear a shirt with a big red A and carry a copy of "Crisis of Conscience" a couple of my college texts, and a college diploma.

    Rayzorblade-I believe in freedom of religion, even if I currently practice freedom from religion:) I made the choice to leave the organisation, JWs have made the choice to stay. I won't bug individuals if they don't bug me, but I will NOT put up with head games! My daughter was extremely shocked by Sandy's behavior. At one point, I was one of only a few women who was friends with Sandy.I stood by her when her prominent family members shunned her when she chose to divorce her husband (who was later convicted of child sexual abuse and is still supported by his good JW family who thinks he was framed, despite the evidence to the contrary).

    I knew that I would be shunned when I left (and I warned my kids that most likely,even our closest JW friends would shun me), but it didn't matter to me. I was surprised that many JWs are not content with just walking by and ignoring a former member-they make a concerted effort to let the person know that they saw them, then proceed to ignore them after that. Now if that ain't manipulative behavior, I don't know what is! It didn't serve to "shame" me in any way, though. It just made my daughter extremely angry.And gave me a good laugh.

    When my daughter told my son about it, he told me he wishes that he was dissassociated too, so the JWs wouldn't talk to him:) Alas, the elders never considered letting any of my children be baptised, because we could only get out in service seven hours a month instead of ten.That was the only reason the kids and I were ever given when they were turned down repeatedly for baptism.

    Amen Neyank! Could you imagine the collective sigh of relief from many of the rank and file if the GB annulled the shunning doctrine? I personally was never any good at it. I would at least SMILE sympathetically when I ran into a former member, and I would never seek them out to punish them.I know I sure didn't feel like I was following in Jesus' footsteps when I did it. But being as that is a major component of cultic control, I doubt they'll drop that "Theocratic" tactic.

    Lisagas420- LOL at the bumper sticker idea;)I want one of each to put on my car:) How about a book- "The Idiots Guide to Shunning and Being Shunned."

    But your point about the impact on depressed or mentally ill people is one thing that just sticks in my craw. As far as I'm concerned, when shunning behavior results in a person becoming so distraught they commit suicide, the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and the individual members who are involved in the shunning are bloodguilty!

    {{{Freeing89}}}}} One thing that really irks me is when persons who were born to JW parents are shunned. They had no choice as to whether or not they were raised in that cult, yet they face losing their entire social structure if they can no longer stomach the manipulation from the "loving" organisation.

    When I announced my decision to leave to the elders, they went straight to my mother's house after talking to me. They told her that if she associated with me, she would never be baptised.No one could convince me now that shunning is a loving practice, or that the Watchtower Bible and Tract society do not try to bully their members, or that they are not responsible for the break-up of families!

    Maybe you need to let the townspeople know that your sister doesn't actually talk to you, and explain why. I've begun educating members of my community about it. I'm an amatuer journalist and I've already been published. I'm really liking Mark Twain's quote about not messing with a man who buys ink by the barrel:)I have an editor who loves conflicting issues like this, too.The attributes of cults and high control relgions are going to be featured my college's paper this fall:)

    Because of an issue that occurred in our community regarding two JWs, a rule was added to my sons' school handbook that NO shunning of any individual would be tolerated on school property, so my community is taking this issue to heart.

    Regards,

    Cicatrix

  • rebel
    rebel

    Well, I don't even have to leave my house to be shunned.

    Please bear in mind that I am NOT DFd or DAd, I am just another fade-away. I haven't been to meetings for around 8 months (I think).

    My son's friend came by yesterday because they were both going bowling. His mother brought him round and waited for my son to get his gear. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She came into MY kitchen, sat at MY table and ignored me!!! I said "Hi" just to break the ice. She glared at me, got up and shouted to son and his mate that she would be waiting in the car and hurried to the door. Ignorant or what? Mind you, she is an elder's wife, so I suppose it figures.

    xxR

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Cica:

    talk to them like an Agape Chatty Cathy

    LOL...you are a little rabble-rouser now, aren't ya? LOL

    rebel, I know how you feel, being shunned in your own home, people looking right through you like you don't exist, answering the door and the smile on the JW's face is ripped away and replaced with a look of shock/discomfort/frown, and a quick little business-like "Is so-and-so home?" Or answering the phone, and hearing the quick intake of breath on the other side when they realize that they're talking to a big bad old apostate...like they're gonna get some incurable disfiguring disease simply by hearing my voice.

    Good luck to ya

    Craig

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