Hi again Heff and everyone:
I've already said my welcome but wanted to add one more thought.
One of the biggest helps I've experienced here is realizing how many others grew up feeling the same as I did. It still amazes me every day I read peoples thoughts and memories here.
So many of us have grown up thinking we were different from other "good" JWs, were unworthy for our less-than-perfect spirituality or for our doubts. We felt forced to "enjoy" service, to "feel the maturity" of baptism, and to "want" to go to all the meetings and study.
We were supposed to feel sorry for the poor unbelievers who were angering God by celebrating all those pagan holidays and not feel left out and there's still so much more we were supposed to do or feel. Most of us felt the guilt of not living up to those expectations that we thought everyone else did, or we saw the hypocrisy of so many that showed in their "do as I say, not as I do" policy.
I carried my feelings of unworthiness for my doubts and imperfections for so many years until recently when I first read Ray Franz's first book 'Crisis of Conscience'. They effect that had was shock to say the least and I had to read it in spurts between getting up and pacing and crying. My whole picture-perfect world of the WTS was suddenly dirty.
Here we find many others who experienced similar eye-openers and what a help it is to be able to discuss it and contribute.
Just wanted to add my appreciation for all the growing I've been helped to do just in the last 2 months.
Had Enough