Trouble dealing with life as an ex-JW

by YellowLab 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  YellowLab

  I'm interested in finding out if anyone here who is an ex-Dub has taken or still takes prescription anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication to deal with feelings of inadequacy and inexperience with life outside of the WTS, relationship problems, stress/anger, low self-esteem, etc.

  I still suffer with self-esteem/image problems as well as stress with life in general after leaving the WTS. I often feel alone and inexperienced when dealing with life's problems, and often find it difficult to handle conflict/disagreements with loved ones when they arise. I feel these occurrences are a personal attack on myself.

  I just started attending counseling to deal with these problems, and it was mentioned that an anti-depressant may help. I know I'm probably not alone with having these feelings and I'd like to hear from anyone who may have gone through a similar experience.

  Thanks for listening.

  YellowLab
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  JeffT

  Hi, and welcome.

  I took an anti-anxiety for a while about the time I started studying with the dubs. It did me some good, and then I bought into the Watchtower's message and changed one drug for another.

  About the time we were leaving my wife went through a bad period of clinical depression. Some of it was JW related, more of it about childhood abuse that had nothing to do with the WTBS. The first thing her therapist did was put her on an anti-depressant, with the understanding that it was a short term thing. For what it's worth in my mind the combination of meds and therapy gave me back my wife.

  Hope that helps. You are welcome to e-mail or pm if you want to talk more.
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  NAPPY ROOTS

  I had a hard time at first in the "Real World". I have just started seeing a counsler to help me get through some issues I have and unresolved resentment for growing up a JDub. It takes time to heal. Stay strong and do whatever it takes.
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  Big Tex

  No actually my experience was the opposite. I was in therapy and felt better once I left. I did try anti-depressants including a brand new one (back then) called Prozac. None of them worked for me, so as a result I'm not a big fan of them. Don't get me wrong, there are some people who legitimately need them and I am in no way putting that down. If it works, then by all means use it.

  At the same time, I can't help but think that maybe the widespread use is a mistake. Sometimes anger, fear or shame is there for a reason and needs to dealt with. Sometimes there isn't a magic pill, only hard work to go through and out the other side.

  Yellowlab, I'm really sorry for what you're going through. All I can tell you is just take it one step at a time. Don't get discouraged if you don't see progress. It's been 12 years since I've been in therapy, for many of the same issues you're going through, and I still have my bad days. There were a lot of times I thought I was stuck feeling worthless and angry for the rest of my life. But I got through it. And if I can do it, so can you.
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  Maverick

  Like Big tex, I felt better almost immediately after leaving that mess! Once I came to terms with the exit phobias and mind control programs running in the back of my mind like little sleeper viruses everything started to fall into place. I was an adult when I came under the influence so it was easier on me than for those poor souls raised by Duds. Not to diminish or over simplify but I honestly believe when a basically normal person is not being true to his or her nature as a person, they will be unhappy. For me it was changing what that little voice we each have inside was telling me. Don't let that voice beat you up. Don't tell yourself, "Your worthless, nobody loves you, or your no good!" Don't talk to yourself in a way you would never talk to anyone else. Or let anyone else talk to you. (Disclaimer) This in no way applies to clinical depression. Note: I said "normal people". Maverick
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  donkey

  I often feel alone and inexperienced when dealing with life's problems, and often find it difficult to handle conflict/disagreements with loved ones when they arise

  I hide it pretty well but I suffer from the same problem. It's tough to make it through each day when you feel as if you have no one in the world but yourself. Those who "leave" but find themselves in a position where they are between a rock and a hard place (like being married to an active JW with kids who will not accept "worldly friends" in their house whereas the person leaving wants nothing to do with JW's) can have one of the most meaningless frustrating existences out there.

  Jack
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  Hamas

  Take one day at a time man.
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  Robdar

  When I left dubdom, anti-anxiety/depressants were not very common. I had to recover on my own. I still suffer from not being able to relate to what the world is like. I still have high ideals and suffer from a sense of not belonging or understanding why life is the way it is.

  I had an interesting discussion with a former witness friend last week in which I told him that I can't get my mind around the fact that there should be some sort of finer, better, higher, noble purpose to life and yet no matter what I do, I can't seem to find it. I am sure this is left over from being raised as a witness. I have a difficult time relating to a world which is never going to get better; is never going to be saved by a benevolent god.

  I wish you well in life although most of the time nowadays, I hardly think it is worth the effort to keep on living.

  Robyn
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  Freedomrules

  I take Prozac for Panic Disorder, which I developed right around the time I left the org and I got married. I never actually pinned down my condition to leaving (although they say that extreme stress can trigger it) so I wouldn't be surprised if that's why I have the Panic Disorder. To tell you the truth, I initially felt really guilty about taking meds, like I was weak and couldn't control my own body, but after a while I reasoned that diabetics don't feel guilty for taking insulin, and people with high blood pressure don't feel guilty for taking blood pressure medication, so I wasn't going to let my taking prozac bother me. It has worked wonders, as long as I am on the medicine I have no symptoms of the Panic Disorder and I have had no side effects.

  Just my story,

  Freedomrules
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  Anne

  HI! Yellow Lab,

  I think your on the right track with counseling. If you think an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication might help you I would suggest that you see a good medical doctor for a physical first. Sometimes there can be an underlying physical reason for the problem. I went through a period of depression in my early 20's that I found out was due to a thyroid disorder. At the time I thought I was losing my mind.

  Later I went though another bout of the blues when I was fading from dubdom. I did take Celexa (antidepressant) for a time, but as time went on was able to stop. It did help me to control my emotions at the time.

  Anne