by Dansk 20 Replies latest jw friends
Used to have an Elder in one congregation, who would tell his wife, what had been discussed at Elders meetings etc. Who would promptly tell all her JW sister friends the juicy stuff.
Why did he? When discovered what he was doing, he said its because he couldn't handle the responsiblity of knowing what he knew, so felt it was safe to confide in his wife.
Only on one occasion did I have to sit in one of those back room elder meetings. Wait.......OK........ maybe it was more than once but I may have forgotten. It was a long time ago.
OK, I think I remember now, .... about the sixth time I had to sit in one of those back room elders meetings did it really piss me off. Here I was with a young beautiful JW girl who I only knew for a few months and was forced to tell them things that were none of their god damned business. A retired factory worker, a farmer, and a short order cook all gathered together to hear the details of an intimate encounter I had when my flesh was weak (well, in their terms) and my libido was that of an average 22 year old healthy male. I could see those bone heads thinking they were going to voyeuristly (is that a word?) hear things they could have just as easily gotten from reading the latest issue of Playboy's letters from subscribers.
To make a two hour story short I ended the meeting when things got to the point where I felt the questions they were asking were above and beyond the details they needed to hear. I could see the old retired factory worker elder was about to have an aneurysm as the little blood he had left in his brain was quickly diverted to the front pocket of his warn out brown polyester suit pants.
What in the hell makes these mental rejects think they had the right to try and run my life when they didn't even have the ability to run their own? The short order cook elder use to be a close friend of mine. He was the youngest elder ever appointee to his position in the state of Oregon. He was an elder at age 25 because he was an anal asshole who spent all his waking hours away from Al's Drive In restaurant knocking on peoples doors. The funny thing is about six months after I left the religion (several years after the back room meeting) he was disfellowshipped for having sex with his 14 year old step daughter.
These idiots told me that I, as well as the beautiful JW girl, needed to go and get married as soon as possible. She wasn't pregnant, but since we admitted having sex it was a good enough reason to get married to them. I didn't even know her that well. If I could have had a few more months to get to know her I would have run like hell. Instead, a month later we flew to Reno to get married.
That mistake to me ranks up there with General Custers thinking the planes Indians were nothing more than a bunch of long haired pussies. That woman has been the biggest pain in my side for the last 25 years. All this because she decided she needed to go and confess to the congregations three stooges.
To this day I hate farmers, short order cooks, and retired factory workers. Not all of them, just the ones who were ordained to be elders in the JW religion and sucked out any joy what so ever from 25 years of my life.
Sorry for ranting. What was the question?
Dave
I have learned the hard way that elders do not take this seriously. I have a good friend, I won't name you yet, buddy, whose father was an elder before he was and his mother used to listen in on the extension, no kidding.
I told an elder something, relating to corruption on the part of elders/CO, asked for it to be held in confidence.
One hour later, the CO called me to discuss the matter. Seems he had set up his own little special investigative committee already to handle it. I called the elder back, asked about the confidentiality he had promised me, and he just said, it was out of my control. SO, he knew he could not keep it confidential but still promised it so that I would tell him what I knew.
My brother, from another state, knew before I did that someone in my congregation was going to be disfellowshiped; one of the elders, a friend of his, spilled it to him three weeks before it happened.
I would not so much as give my opinion about the weather to an elder for fear he would use it against me.
well for all the bad things I can say about my ex-husband/elder he never told me cong business. If there was a JC I never knew who it was. And that seemed to be the case with all the elders - ok maybe one knew but no one paid any attention to her anyway because barely remembered people's names never mind facts.
I can't recall one time hearing an elder's wife telling me things she knew that she shouldn't have known. My ex kept whatever files he had (including the elder's book) locked up. I never even knew about the elder's book til after I left and came here.
As for telling them stuff. I never had anything to tell them til the end and I never dreamed they would be as cruel as they were
Actually, Physio (my wife) has just made a good point. Most of the elders in our old congregation - and especially the latest appointed elders - are young, late 20s to early 30s, and have no children. The last appointed elder (just a couple of weeks ago), is in his 30s, has no children (doesn't want any any) and his wife NEVER attends meetings (though she always attends any parties).
The point here is, these men cannot possibly understand what it is like to raise a family and the type of problems that can arise. They are also inexperienced in life.
One elder who DOES have a young family (two children) was on the ministry with our group one day (he was the group overseer) when I found myself suddenly having him walking by my side. He looked over at some shops and said: "I used to snog (kiss) my girlfriends over there. Did you enjoy snogging in such places?"
A sister, in her late 50s, overheard his remark and got him alone, whereupon she said "And YOU'RE an elder!" She wasn't amused at all - none of us were - but he just laughed. The guy is an absolute idiot.
Would you feel safe with these type of people on your JC?
Dansk
Know what's funny dansk? I heard stories similar to that. There's this pride elders have in the former life of theirs, and they always quickly follow with the "but I didn't know Jehovah then."
Isn't that convenient? They had their fun, and when they're old and ugly, they lord it over the manor. Beautiful. After the lust for sex wears off, the lust for power over people kicks in.
Even my most holy JW Father-in-law brags about banging two twin sisters on separate occasions in high school, but he wouldn't even let his daughter talk to me on the phone for more than ten minutes at a time. Talk about hyposcrisy.
ash
Very !!!
Guest 77
I have a hard time with the word "confession" applied to something set up just like a Catholic Inquisition of old.
Hi Dansk: Since leaving the Watchtower religion, I have relayed accounts of several judicial matters, some where I was on the JC and others where I was aware of the matter in the Congregation file. I chose very old events, and removed the real names, locations, dates, and other tell-tale details to shield the innocent. The rest I turned over to the authorities and/or lawyers in cases of pedophilia.
I agree with your comments, but need to add that I believe the greater danger remains with active Elders. Often, these men will use older confessed information against the unsuspecting JW in future issues. Example: A young man, perhaps 17 or 18 years old, masturbates and confesses to an Elder. Later on, maybe at age 22 or 23 the same young man is now dating, and is seen holding hands with or kissing a girl ... he will often be counseled, and if the Elder he confessed to learns of the newer events, will use the older information to show how the young man has a "weakness" ... or ... at other times, such information will be used to stop a young man from advancing in the organization ... always peppered with the notion that he somehow needs "more time."
Worst of all ... Elders often do not follow the policy of 'privilege' and will talk to their wives, or with talk openly at private gatherings to other Elders ... also within hearing range of others. This allows for gossip to get around and ruin reputations and in some cases, ruin lives.
It is good to be out and about ... free from this nonsense. - Jim W.
In my experience as an elder and a jw, it's a mixed bag. I knew one elder, for example, who was excellent at keeping matters to himself - so myuch so that his wife sometimes complained that she didn't know anything that was going on - even stuff that was harmless and common knowledge.
And then of course there are the ones who can't keep things to themsleves. I know of one CO who once told a sister and I in his car group in service the details of a judicial matter. We hadn't asked and were totally shocked at how he just spilled the beans.
