Were you married at the Kingdom Hall ? How bad was your wedding reception ?

by run dont walk 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  caligirl

  I hated the decorating at the hall I grew up in. All that icky brick color. So anyways, a few months before the wedding, my ex and I get privately reproved, but to my dismay, we are told that we can still be married at the hall.( I didn't want to get married there in the first place, but my ex thought that we should) We asked them if they were 100% positive that it was ok, and they said ABSOLUTELY. So we ordered our $250 worth of invitations. THEN, they said, oops on second thought, no. So I was spared having to be married in all that ugliness, but had to re-order invitations, and re-organize, re-plan and ended up with an outdoor ceremony in a friends back yard, which I was quite happy with and was all I wanted in the first place.No alcohol because I was only 18 at the time. I didn't even want the blasted talk - but the elder doing the ceremony insisted that he had to use it even though it was not at the KH. It was my exes brother in law, so we couldn't can him and get a J.P, which would have been fine with me. I wanted the 5 minute express ceremony.

  BUT all that CRAP was more than made up for by my wonderful second wedding, which was also NOT at a Kingdom Hall and was absolutely perfect. Of course the perfection came from who I was marrying and I really could have cared less where we were!
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  Descender

  Well I don't know about wedding receptions, nothing to exciting or strange ever seemed to happen in them. But I remember a few weddings that stuck out in my mind. I went to one where a 40 year old brother was marrying a 38 year old virgin. He was barely over 5 feet tall, whereas she was close to 6 foot. When he was told that he could kiss the bride, he went for the kiss and she turned her head and wouldn't kiss him so he had to kiss her on the cheek while standing on his tippy-toes.

  There was another wedding I remember where one of my friend's younger brothers was getting married. The two getting married were both eighteen. His father gave the talk and when he told them they could kiss, he dipped her down low and stuck his tongue way down her throat. It seemed to last forever and everyone thought she was going to choke on that thing, so his father made them stop.
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  acsot

  Ravyn, you're right:

  joyful events

  who uses that phrase but dubs?
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  Soledad

  Im surprised. my experience with witness weddings and receptions was way different. they were not too different from "worldy" weddings. good food and drink and music is a must for latinos. I remember that there was even a talk during a service meeting before the COs visit about how wedding receptions should be conducted.
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  Euphemism

  Thanks, cheeses and cruzan!
  

  Cheeses... my fiancee and I did consider changing the location of the wedding. But it didn't fit well with our other plans. And frankly, the dubs are always going to be a part of who we are. While we dislike the teachings, we love a lot of the people. So I don't think that having a wedding at the KH is going to be a bad memory for us. We do, however, want to take the wedding pictures somewhere else.

  Cruzan... for some reason, I thought that they were a little softer on the wedding outline. I hope so! Our elder is a bit of an independent thinker (I really hope he'll recognize the truth about the truth someday). I hope he can get away with it.

  As far as jdub weddings... absolutely, some have been fun. I was just at one... the talk was boring, it was held at a seniors center, and there was no alcohol (the latter two probably because of the financial circumstances of the couple). But there was good food, good entertainment, and good dancing; I had a great time. I've been to another dub wedding that had a great talk; the reception food was crappy, but there was an open bar, and a very good live salsa band. (Unfortunately, the couple was criticized afterwards because the music was too loud. It was a bit of a cultural issue, I think... the bride and groom, along with a good chunk of the congregation, were Puerto Rican; all the people complaining about the volume were Caucasian.)

  I've been to crappy jdub weddings too, of course. It just depends on the couple!
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  Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

  Celebrating our twenty eighth wedding anniversary in July, our wedding ceremony and reception are becoming a more distant memory as the years pass. The day itself was picture perfect - a crisp sunny Winter's day, and is my most vivid recollection. The ceremony was typical JW ritual - kingdom songs, prayers, talks, more prayer.

  The reception was another matter entirely. The in-laws paid for the food, my parents paid for the facility, and, if there was to be alcohol, then I had to pay for it. So I did. Some of the 'brothers' who were now counted as my 'new buddies' put on a skit, more or less belittling the surfing lifestyle from which I had taken one step out of by becoming a dub. Most of the guests thought it was funny, but it did not sit well with me. Black mark #17 against the bastards.

  cheeses - who will never, under any circumstances, ever enter a kingdumb hall again.
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  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  Hubby and I got married in a garden by a bro.

  We hated the PO and didn't give him any chance to have a say in our wedding. He would have used his position in the congregation to have some control over our special day, and we saboutaged him by having our wedding in a public garden. It was a perfect day, my children by our side and the Aussie sun shining on us. The brother that married us did an ok job, except I just never understood his comparison of 'a bride on her wedding day being like a ship with full sails.' I was only 55 kgs, what was he meaning? Anyhow, we laughed, still do actually.

  We had a small wedding with a lunch not dinner, and everyone agreed that it was much better than a full on dub wedding, even the elders' wives. Because it was a small wedding we didn't organise any music other than a tape recording of our favourite..........modern..........music playing in the background. That was it. We supplied all the alcohol, and there was plenty, paid for a three course meal for everyone and went away for a weeks honeymoon. It was a great day.

  Cheers, Bliss.
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  Tammie

  My husband and I were married at the Kingdom Hall, back in 1993 The worse part of it was how long winded the elder was in giving his wedding speach/talk. But I got my just dues with him later. About a year later he and his family stayed with me, because our congeration was getting a new KH. I made him sit and watch the whole video of him speaking. He looked at his wife and asked her if all his talks are that long winded (his words). She said yes dear you are.

  As far as my reception went, it was a blast. Granted I did not have alchole, but I chose that for personal reasons. Hubby and I picked out a bit of everything that every one would have enjoyed. Our wedding song was by Bryan Adams "Everything I do, I do for you". I had a "Top Gun" sound tract and played several songs from that. Lets just say the music I picked out really rocked the house, and the elders were perfectly happy with that. (Bon Jovi, some Maddona, Reba McIntire, Alabama, Elvis and several others that I can't recall at this moment.)

  Mom brought smoked ham and smoked turkey, along with a veggie tray. I had everyone else bring a cover dish of their choices. Which they did not mind that. My wedding cake consisted of several layers. Each layer was a different flavor, Chocolate, White, and Marbled. Under the cake I had a fountain. We had lots and lots of ballons, needed to because the reception was held in a gym.

  My reception lasted from 3 pm and lasted till 9 pm. Hubby and I left around 8:30 pm. But before we left, most of the people who attended said that they really had fun at my wedding reception. They really enjoyed themselves. Something that don't very often in the JW world.
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  SheilaM

  - you could always tell a couple who couldn't afford much, when you had to drive 50 miles into the back woods to find some dinky little community hall they rented for $100.

  Yep, sorry to offend you but that is exactly how where our reception was. I didn't realize it was any better to be so judgemental and rude about what others choose to do or have to do to celebrate their marriage. I have been to expensive weddings with ice sculptures and you know those people are all divorce where as we pathetic one's that couldn't afford much because we had to pay for it ourselves. No Dad to help, no family to help are still happy as ever. I guess you could say I really to offense to this part of your post. Sometimes I may get irked but this really felt like a slap in the face, thank you for being the first person on this board to make me feel that way.
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  little witch

  Sheila and Thunder,

  But after two decades of wedded bliss, let us all join together in a heart felt round of RASBERRIES to those who doubted your love!!!!!!!!!