Were you married at the Kingdom Hall ? How bad was your wedding reception ?

by run dont walk 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  wednesday

  I think the differences in wedding esperiences is , geographical, cultural and economic. Living here in the bible(baptist) belt, worldy churrch cermonies were a lot like jws. People rented civic centeries, etc and the church came and lots of time they had pot luck suppers, or just cake and punch. alochol is not served at a great many weddings, but that speaks volumes abut this genreal area(dry area in genreal).I've also been to some very expensive weddings, sit down dinner, alochol, dancing, band etc. . Back in the 60-70's things were a bit more liberal , and there was a little more fun weddings. But then, somone would get tipsy at a wedding, and next thing u knew-no more alochol was being served at any weddings. Dancing in this are( bible belt) has always been frowned on. It is so different in othere areas, were they dance and have a good time. the bible belt areas are really uptight.

  My wedding was not at the hall. it was a personal choice, i didn't want it there, i was too nervous and we had limited resources. It was held at home in back yard, and it was small. No alochol, cake and punch and reception was in the house. But it was friendly and nice and we were happy.
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  SheilaM

  RDW: I just want you to know why I was offended. My Dad left my Mother when I was pregnant with my daughter after 32 years of marriage. I met my husband and came into the truth. We went through HELL trying JUST TO GET married.
  I had my daughter and couldn't find a job to save my life in the little po dunk town. Despite flak from the elders Thunder supported me and my daughter, he was the best paid mechanic in town $7.00 an hour so it took him quite a few hours just to make that $100.00 for our community hall. I didn't want the KH cause the elders wanted so much control and it was avocado green.
  My Father wouldn't even pay for a tux for himself. Despite how hard he had to work I had the wedding dress I wanted, the cake I wanted and the flowers and also the shoes. Our daughter had her dress made for her as I wanted and the flowers for her hair. So to me it was perfect.
  So as you can see your remark hit dead center on something I am very proud of. Something that my Thunder worked so hard for and to have it belittled really hurt.
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  maxwell

  I agree with the dissent about the cost of a wedding. A couple should have certain financial means (someone needs a job or big fat inheritance) before getting married for their ongoing day to day living after getting married, but that has nothing to do with the wedding. Of course, in some cultures, its probably acceptable to live with parents or relatives after getting married, so financial means may even be less of a factor. But spending large gobs of money on a wedding shouldn't be a priority. Not that I knock big expensive weddings. I've enjoyed a few, but if a couple doesn't have the money or chooses to save the money for other things, in most cases, I'd probably think they were taking the wiser choice.

  My wedding was fairly small. I didn't have much money, neither did I know many people. Small procession. And a reception at a community center. We didn't have alcohol. Although we were both of legal age, neither of us had ever drank anything before so it was not on the radar. It was mostly potluck. The "sisters" we knew were fairly good cooks and I made sure to send thank you notes to all of them. The one thing I would have a laugh at is the dancing. We did play pop music, hip hop and R & B, "worldly" music if you will. Of course, nothing to risque. But if you've been at any JW gathering in the South or on the East Coast and I'm sure this is true in other parts of the US, they always, and I mean ALWAYS do the Electric Slide. And people end up doing that for half of the dance time. Lately, they've added the Cha-Cha. Both dances are very old, though they've updated them a little. I guess if you get everyone doing those dances, there's no chance for anyone to get involved in any "questionable" type dancing.

  My wedding costs were under $1,000 dollars. Yet, I know the average costs of weddings these days to be in the $10,000 and up range. I went to another sisters wedding before I left. I know her wedding was somewhere in the $20,000 or up. I'm not judging. If she has it like that, that's really cool for her. The reception was at a hotel banquet room. We had a three course meal with servers of course. Main course, filet mignon. The one and only time I've had that. Guests 150-200. Entertainment mostly by Witnesses, but she did have one professional act. Her family was originally from Panama and they had some traditional Panamanian dancers for a few acts. I had a good time, and I think the couple enjoyed themselves. I hope they did considering all the money put into it. But I couldn't see myself spending that much money for a 3-4 hour party.
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  SheilaM

  A couple should have certain financial means (someone needs a job or big fat inheritance) before getting married for their ongoing day to day living after getting married

  Well, Maxwell we have made it 19 years seems that the above statment isn't always true.
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  maxwell

  Sheila, I know that sometimes people lose their jobs. I don't mean to say a marriage will fail because of that. And neither do I think they have to be rich, simply capable of working together to get food, clothing and shelter, the necessities. Sometimes along the way circumstances might dictate that they need some help, but I think at least at the start, the plan should be do it on their own.
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  Lady Lee

  Sheila sounds like you two deserve another party
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  run dont walk

  It would be nice if we could all meet and give Sheila a great party.

  I want to apologize for my comment,(I did apologize to Sheila by email) I should of worded it better, I was by no means trying to belittle or make fun of ANYONE. And did not want to offend ANYONE. I find this board very very very very helpful, and have met some WONDERFUL people.

  What I meant (and it didn't come out this way AT ALL!) was ............

  I noticed growiing up in the borg many many many many young people getting baptized at a very young age , 10-15 years old, as I said before, what could they possibly know about life and the temptations they will face, and to further this I noticed ALOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of young people getting married the day or soon after they turned 18.

  1) to get out of the house

  2) so they could have sex.

  Not for the REAL reason you should get married, is the Watchtower to blame for this, not entirely, but should take some responsibility. I saw many young people getting married way way way to young, and COULD NOT afford it, heck they didn't even have one part time job between them, thus my comment.

  I think it is safe to say that Sheila / Thunder got married for the right reasons !!!!!!!!!! LOL, I am very sorry if I offended YOU and ANYONE else who reads this thread, it was NOT my intention.

  Sorry, run dont walk
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  SheilaM

  Max: Thanks

  LadyLee:Geesh Thanks

  RDW: I more than except your apology sorry I was so hurt by the comment.

  Everyone needs to know how nice you were to apologize to me by PM. I chose to put my answer on the post because I thought everyone deserved to know why I was so hurt. I know intellectually you didn't mean it as a personal attack but it hit dead on bulls-eye on something I am very proud to have had. It may have not been the elaborate wedding one plans as a child but because of how hard Thunder worked I think and will always think it was the most wonderful wedding and reception ever.

  Just as a side note his wonderful monster of a Father had been charging him rent from the age of 14 $120.00 A WEEK. Thunder was told the money was being put away from his wedding and furniture etc. Well, you guessed it NOT A FRIGGIN dime nope. His Grampy now sent us some money so we could have a sembelance of a honeymoon.
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  petespal2002

  Our wedding turned out fine, in neighbouring congs. KH cos we fell out with our PO. Talk was great, actually funny and personalised. We hired the 6th form college where I work for the reception and had it catered so was very pleasant. Sun shone which helped, In November!!

  Been to some truly awful ones though that had to be seen to be believed, and I agree with the comment that many dubs marry SO young to have sex, although I can't believe that all have made it to thier wedding day 'pure'. Cong I grew up in insisted on putting on 'shows' for receptions which were the most toe-curling spectacles to behold. One elder blacked up to sing Jolson songs. Very PC. One couple had to get fathers permission to marry as she was only 17 and they couldn't wait for another 6 months. Reason became apparent 9 months later when what they claimed was a premature baby put in an appearence. At 10 lbs 20z pemature my ass!
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  freedom96

  Funny, I was married in the Kingdom Hall, and I look back and a little suprised that they allowed me to marry the devil herself there!

  The hall wouldn't let us get married in the hall unless we were baptized, which I understand, so I got dunked, and they wouldn't let her, apparenty she wasn't going door to door enough. She got pissed, but went ahead and did more hours, and then they let her get baptized.

  The elders were worried about my hair being a little scruffy before the baptizm. It was short and all though.

  I remember thinking to myself, "Next time I get married..............." which is probably not a good sign at your marriage.

  Hell of a marriage. 200 people at the reception that I didn't know.

  Got out of the religion, got out of the marriage.

  Thank God!