I'm Sorry (page 2)

avishai

Something that helped me break this habit was when someone told me that, when people say they are sorry these days, It does'nt usually mean that "I am sorry" it really means "don't be mad at me".

Why be sorry for who you are? Until you learn to understand and appreciate the wonderful, sensitive person that you are you will not find happiness. You spend too much time putting yourself down. Nobody knows us better then we know outselves. When we offer to others that we don't feel that we are good enough, then how will they ever see us as good enough. By putting ourselves down are we looking for reassurance from others? Start with your own selfworth, so others can see it too. Sorry is a wonderful word unless it is over used, then it can seem insincere, and a way of feeling sorry for ourselves. Learn to believe in yourself so others may learn to believe in you too.

((((((((beryl))))))))

Scully

Beryl:

Are you sure you aren't Canadian?
Sorry, don't understand why you said that.

It's a bit of a joke up here that Canadians apologize for everything. Nothing serious. No need to be sorry for anything.

But I do understand what you're talking about. I suspect it's a female thing combined with the JW thing - where we have been conditioned (had it "inculcated" into us) to "not think more of ourselves than is necessary to think". To defer to the other person, because we are not "important enough" to have our thoughts, feelings, values, opinions etc. matter to anyone. If we ever stepped out of that mindset, there was always someone close by to remind us: Just WHO do YOU think YOU are?? I know I would always answer the same way every single frikkin time: nobody.

After much clawing my way out of the pit of despair - over and over again - I have a better idea of "Just WHO I KNOW I AM", and hot damn! I am becoming a force to be reckoned with.

Anyway..... for what it's worth.... I do understand the frustration and, yes, even the anger you are experiencing.

Lee has some good suggestions about reframing the way we think and communicate. It takes practice, but it is really worth doing because your self-esteem will grow by leaps and bounds as you get better at it. It helped me a lot.

Love, Scully

DFWnonJW

What is there left to say about a woman who is so sorry about just being alive and inconveniencing people with her presence?

Oh (((Beryl))) the sad thing is that anyone feels that way at anytime. I can say that because I feel exactly the same way sometimes (and not even being a woman!) Please find the humor in the fact that my second post in your Crisis of Conscience thread started with the word "Sorry" and it was directed to you of course (birds of a feather?). I hope some of the ideas of these wonderfully caring people on this board help and you get to feeling better about yourself!

(I'm sorry, I didn't know I was Canadian!)

Cassiline

((((( Beryl ))))

You sound like me apologizing when it's raining out to people.

Wish I could pass a magic wand and all would be well and you're sense of self esteem would magically appear.

Write and know, " I am a precious child of the universe". Post it on your mirror and believe.

Love

Cassi

little witch

Beryl, here's a big assed cyber hug((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BERYLBLUE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I know you were worried about reading COC, just give yourself a little time to digest it....

You are not alone, you have alot of folks here who care about you, hang in there hon...

obiwan

Eh, tell'em all to kiss your behind, live your life with no opologies.

I'm Sorry