No longer wanting to attend meetings

by breezy 27 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  SecretSlaveClass

  Hey Breezy nice to read your first post.

  I was 14 and not baptized when I completely stopped doing anything JW related. I simply told my mom the truth - I didn't think the JW religion was God's organization and I no longer wanted any part of it. It took a while for her to realize I was determind to stick with my decision but she finally relented- and she is a complete zombie fanatic.

  As a non baptized publisher you have nothing to fear and your mom will eventually come to terms with it as I can bet you she'll simply spend her years hoping you'll return while at the same time no one will be required to shun you so you will still be accepted as part of the family. Since your dad doesn't seem angry it is highly unlikely you'll be kicked out of their house. For a while there will undoubtedly be some tension but as long as you stay a good, respectful and responsible adult, it will eventually fade and life will adjust to the "new normality". This is a great opportunity to show them one does not have to be a JW to be a person of substance and a good example.

  Keep us informed!
• 

  The Searcher

  Hi Breezy & welcome. It's very good that you're only an unbaptised publisher.

  So now you have two main choices - either keep talking and explaining yourself to folks and face the consequences, or, simply fade into total inactivity which won't cause your folks to shun you if/when you leave home. (I'm assuming you are at home)

  If you choose the latter, you'll have to discipline yourself not to openly criticise the Org to your parents and others, otherwise they will very quickly alienate themselves from you.

  You can try this approach:

  "Thank you for your concerns brothers, but there's nothing private & personal which I wish to discuss with anyone at the moment, but I appreciate your motives and concern. If things change, I will definitely call you."

  Conversation Stoppers:

  1) "We only want to come and give you encouragement." = Simply repeat the response above!

  2) "But how can we help you if you won't talk to us?" = "Everyone has private & personal situations which they can't discuss with others, and that includes elders - I'm no different!"

  3) Are you refusing to talk with us? = "No, I just don't want to discuss things right now. I'll call you if things change."

  If they persist with their interrogation, just say 'thanks', and walk away - immediately! Do not prolong their interrogation. They can't punish you for ending a conversation!

  Repeat any/all of the above to anyone who tries to extract information from you, because the Elders will get someone you trust to try and get the information out of you.

  Best wishes for you!
• 

  Bonsai

  “No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family.” Awake! 2009 Jul p.29

  Welcome to the site and to the rest of your life lived on YOUR terms.
  
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Welcome!

  The most important thing is to Keep your dignity and self respect, and walk with your head high. Be confident in the decision YOU have made based on the in depth research YOU have done into the org and its background.

  You DO NOTneed to be on the defensive, but rather be poised, calm and respectfully firm in standing by your boundaries of what is appropriate.

  And feel free to vent here with us anytime!
• 

  freemindfade

  Hello and welcome. So fortunate you never got baptized. You are in a good position. Maybe check out the July 2009 awake I think it was. That is the one that talks about not having to choose between your family and religion. It's written for non witnesses who are being challenged by their family for studying with the cult. But flip it around. Apply the principles to you.

  Edit. Looks like bonsai beat me to it :)

  Guess I should read everyone's comments before not after. :p
• 

  KateWild

  Welcome Breezy,

  Bonsai and fmf have got the Awake for you with the quote. This is really good to use with your parents. They seem reasonable and balanced as they did not encourage pre teen or teen baptism for you, I think they will eventually accept your religious position.

  If you show them you can be morally upright and responsible, I am sure they won't shun you as you're not baptised.

  Good luck and keep us informed

  Kate xx
• 

  Bonsai

  Just want to give a shout out to jwfacts.com (Paul Grundy).
  

  The site makes it so easy to click and paste so much useful material for instant access.
  
• 

  cantleave

  Congratulations - here's to the rest of your life
• 

  GodZoo

  I've known about TTATT since i've been 18, im now 22 going on 23 but still go to meetings because of parents. Pretty standard for someone who is still living at home.

  I can never understand things like this.. if my parents are cultists.. I would not follow them in their cult out of sheer politeness.
• 

  LisaRose

  Welcome, glad you found us.

  It's always hard make your own decisions when you are still living with your parents. Perhaps it is time to start working towards getting out on your own? I know it's hard these days, but if you want to live your life on your own terms it helps if you are fully supporting yourself.

  Otherwise, just keep politely refusing to go to the meetings, there is little they can do to force you, hopefully they will eventually accept your decision.

  Lisa 🌹