How did this happen?? My Dad is DF'd. (long)

by Freedomrules 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Freedomrules
    Freedomrules

    Hi:

    I'm fairly new, so many of you don't know me. I've spoken with some of you and I guess to understand my story I need to go back a little bit. The bottom line is it feels like my family is falling apart. My father, who until yesterday was an elder, has been disfellowshipped.

    My parents became Witnesses when I was four years old. I am the oldest of three girls. I was baptized in 1992 at the age of 15, following a lot of pressure from elements in my then congregation. Because of my fathers job we moved around a lot (overseas). Over time I came to the decision that this was not the "truth" and that I no longer wanted to be a JW so I started the slow fade, and have been fading for eight years. My parents and sisters are/were faithful, devoted witnesses, both of my sisters are regular pioneers and my father was an elder. Five years ago my father had to go away because of work for two years, although we saw him every six months. After that two years assignment my father and mother were back together and presumably everything was okay. Last week my father broke down in tears and told my Mom (over the phone) that while he was away for the two year assignment he had had an affair with a woman on and off over a one year period. According to him he never had sex with the woman but they showered together, slept together in the same bed and made out. He said he felt really guilty about it and didn't want to hurt my Mom which is why he didn't tell her earlier. Following this assignment (where he had the affair), when my parents were back living together he felt a tremendous amount of pressure from the elders and missionaries in his congregation (again, this is in an overseas country) to become an elder and although he says he didn't want to do it he served as an elder for three years before he finally told my Mom about what happened. My Mom is devastated, understandably. My father decided he had to talk to the elders about it (he's brand new in this congregation because he's just been transferred again) and despite knowing nothing about him, despite the fact that he is an emotional wreck, despite the fact that my mom and him are going to try and work things out, despite the fact that he prayed for forgiveness, the elders told him that they are going to announce his disfellowshipping in two weeks time.

    This is where someone with more experience than me can come in. How in the hell can he be disfellowshipped if he's repentant? The elders claim that the fact he didn't fess up for 3 years and served as an elder in the meantime is the key reason why they are disfellowshipping him. But isn't disfellowshipping for people who aren't unrepentant? My father has done a lot of good in the 22 years that he's been a witness. While living in third world countries he's helped congregations buy land to build on, given employment to witnesses, etc. Does none of this matter? He made a monumentally huge mistake. No one is denying this, especially not him, and it will take me a while to get over this, but I am just in total shock that they would have decided to disfellowship him. I'm sure some of you out there will comment that at least he is free (etc), but in reality, despite the fact that I hated being a witness and that I have an intense dislike for the FDS/WTBTS, I really liked the fact that my parents were witnesses. I always knew what to expect, it offered continuity and stability in my life.

    This is going to be monumentally catastrophic for my family. One of my sisters is married to a bethelite. They are both superwits, I don't know how they are going to take it. My other sister and I discussed this briefly. I know what my stand is. I think I know how the other sister is going to be. This is going to be horrible for my Mom. Now people can't come over to teh house, she won't get invited out much, I mean this is so * up. I'm so mad as a I write this, I apologize if I'm rambling, but I just don't know what to do or think. My dad is flying to see my Mom for the first time since he broke the news to her as I write this.

    Lucia

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    (((((((Lucia))))))

    I'm so sorry.

    People get disfellowshipped for being unrepentant, as you said, but they will also disfellowship someone who has made a practice of their sin. The fact that your father had continued contact with the woman would mean that it wasn't just a one-off loss of self-control or whatever. That's probably why the elders took that action. Not to mention that he was serving as an elder - they probably felt they had to make an example of him.

    I can understand you'd be experiencing a flood of emotions right now - I wish I could be there with you to give you that hug in person.

  • teejay
    teejay
    He made a monumentally huge mistake.

    Lucia,

    First, sorry for what's been happening and IS happening to your family. Marriage is hard enough when things are good, but when it's under stress like yours... wow.

    As far as the elders' decision is concerned, there's many reasons why df'ing is carried out in the congregations – almost none of them having to do with the heart condition of the person who's df'ed. Point is: Who knows?

    He may have pissed off one of the biggie elders. One of the influential elders may have had a bit of envy for your dad's lifestyle or high profile job. Prior to his leaving for the job overseas, (as janitors and window washers) they may have conseled him against taking it, advising him to consider his "spirituality" and the sake of his family. So when he took it and things happened like they did (the "affair"), it looks to them as though he planned it all. Like I said... who knows why people are df'd. one thing I know: it usually has nothing to do with lack of repentance.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    (((((Lucia))))) I am so sorry for what you are going through. I went through the same thing with my dad and it hit me upside the head like a brick. Not only are you upset about the effect this is having on your family, deep down the little girl inside of you feels betrayed by her father. You saw him as one way, and now he's behaving -- to you -- completely out of character. That shakes up a person's world. Kids don't like to think that their parents are anything but stable (if slightly boring) characters, and when they step out of that, it's very disconcerting.

    Here's my practical advice to you (and I'm on the other side of my situation): the relationship he has with your mother is really none of your business. It's between them. He is still your father and nothing will change that. Try to accept the fact that he made a mistake and is paying for it, and if the rest of the family is going to treat him like dog poop please make sure you give him a place to go to. Show him that you love him in spite of his mistake and give him someone to talk to because no one else probably will. And show your Mom that you love her too and assure her you are not and will not take sides in the matter.

    My dad had an affair after we put Mom in a nursing home (Alzheimer's) and we didn't blame him for it -- he was under a lot of stress and she was a nasty woman to live with at the best of times. He had been an elder for 40 years, and when Mom went out of his life, he just snapped. Of course he got disfellowshipped -- I think the elders had a lot of fun doing it -- and he spent a year crawling on his belly to them to get back in. Once reinstated, they still treated him like dirt, and after a year of that, with only us having him over for a meal and associating with him, he bought a gun and killed himself. Feel free to use that example with your family if they start handing you attitude. My letter to the elders after his death is in this forum somewhere.

    And feel free to PM me if you need to talk privately. Believe me, darling, I understand.

    Love,

    Nina

  • yxl1
    yxl1

    freedomrules,

    That is such a sad story. Unfortuanelty, there isnt much you or your family can do to reverse the situation. Your father has a right to ask for another judical commitee hearing, but from experience I can tell you it will be a waste of time. All I can suggest is that you sit down with your folks and tell them that you love them both and that you'll repect any course they decide to take. It is going to be espcially hard on your mother, as JW women are reknown for gosiping. You might not want to hear comments from us like "Its a good thing he's out", but before you turn away from such words, see who among your parents closest friends are willing to give a shoulder to cry on. I'll take a wild guess and say if they're JW's, then none.

  • Freedomrules
    Freedomrules

    Thanks for replying. I just feel so alone right now. My husband is back in the US (I go home in 2 weeks) and my parents are in the US, as are my sisters, and I just don't know what I'm going to walk in to when I get back home.

    I just want to will it away. After I got off the phone with my Mom and then my Dad this morning I went in to the bathroom and threw up. I just can't take the stress.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Check your PM, honey.

    Nina

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine
    How in the hell can he be disfellowshipped if he's repentant?

    The short answer is that they don't have to follow their own rules and often don't.

    The slightly longer answer is that they even have competing rules on this one. Believe it or not, many witnesses wouldn't know what you mean when you ask "How in the hell can he be disfellowshipped if he's repentant?"; this is because many witnesses missed that rule (and it's easy to miss). See, there is a competing rule that says that anyone who got away with something for a long time, and took privileges to boot, has to be df'd. True, it's an unwritten rule (although they have articulated how to judge repentance based on such things), but givin what elders have to work with, they just can't really get their small minds around the "only if unrepentant" rule. More specifically, they balance the fact that someone certainly seems repentant, with the fact that they didn't confess immediately, and then decide to JUDGE the person not repentant, in spite of the obvious signs that they are.

    There is a quote from a WT (approx 1989) that says "no one is df'd unless they refuse to allow the elders to help them" or words to that effect.

    Sorry for your troubles, Lucia. I know the feeling of wanting the organization to treat your family righteously and caringly, even though you know they don't treat anyone that way. It's a frustrating feeling. But give your family members some credit. You were raised a witness, and saw through it, and survived and hopefully thrive... they can all survive a df'ing, whether it changes their belief or not. Perhaps you'll be able to show them how unimportant it all is to a normal person?

    Ps. I've always like your username here... I walked around with my head in the clouds the first couple years after learning the truth about the truth, thinking "yeah, this (freedom) is all right!" I can't believe it took me so long to figure out what some people just seem to instinctively know; people need freedom (especially of thought) to thrive.

  • Freedomrules
    Freedomrules

    Nina: I don't see a PM. And sixofnine, thanks for the great words. I need to do some research on this because I could swear that I read something similar to what you quoted.

    As much as I am angry with my dad and hate what he did, he doesn't deserve the treatment he is getting.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Here's what I sent in the PM: Oh, I wish I could give you a real hug right now! And I'm so sorry your husband isn't home to help you through this. But hang in there. You WILL get through this. It may well be the most difficult thing you've ever done, but you CAN DO THIS. If you have trouble sleeping, please call your doctor for a mild sedative or take melatonin before going to bed. Get it straight in your head how you feel about this situation before you meet up with your family -- they are going to be a howling hurricane of conflicting emotions, and it's a good thing you are not near them right now. Hopefully by the time you see them things will have calmed down somewhat.

    You have every right to be upset. Your father has betrayed the trust of both you and your mother, but try to keep it in perspective and see if you can keep your relationship with both your parents intact and maybe be a help to him. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with him before, but if it was like me and my dad, it was a pretty decent one. Dad was always a selfish, weak man, but in his own way he loved me, and I'm glad I never withheld that from him.

    Disfellowshipping is a mean and ugly thing that has destroyed a great many people.

    As you can tell, I have a lot of strong feelings about it (my dad committed suicide back in February, so it's still kind of raw), and I may be guilty of projecting my situation onto yours. So please take my comments and advice with a grain of salt, apply what you need, and set me straight if I'm out of line! I just want to help!

    Love,
    Nina

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