by Freedomrules 17 Replies latest jw friends
Its just a messed up religion and regardless of how long he was doing this,he realized what he did was wrong and hurtful to your mother.He repented and came forward,God has forgiven him and thats what counts.
Sorry that your hurting and your family as well..Hugs to you and take care.
Heather
Nina:
I found your message (I'm a computer dummy) and replied to you. Thanks for the nice words.
My head hurts.
Lucia,
Sorry to hear of all this turmoil.
About fifteen years ago, I heard a district overseer get up in front of those assembled at a circuit assembly, and point-blank say -- you are NOT disfellowshipped for what you do. Rather, you are disfellowshipped for the attitude you carry about it.
Goes to show, there's not many real standards or unity in Jehovah's so-called organization. You said you had counted on your parents being JW's because it added stability to the family. So much for using the words "JW" and "stability" in the same sentence. You can never count on that again.
People do adapt to new, even harsh circumstances. Your parents will adapt and be stronger after all this is through, if they so choose. You can be too.
Best wishes.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lucia}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Stay strong. You might be the only one who can help your dad. Stay very close to him and communicate with him as often as possible.
How are your family reacting to this situation?
Lucia, I'm so sorry to hear that!
I'm not sorry that your dad was df'd though. I'm glad for that and hope that some good comes out of it. What I am sorry for is that he and your family had to be put through the pain and humiliation of the disfellowshipping.
What happened was only the business of your dad and mom, and if you believe in Jehovah then him too. Those two/three only. What happened happened in a foreign country and while it was on more than one occassion it was still just an isolated deed. The man was thousands of miles from his wife and family and HE'S HUMAN! He's no threat to the congregation because of what happened! The amount of time it took him to confess shouldn't even figure in to it. The most important thing is that he went to his wife first and is working things out with her. He went to the elders on his own, not because of any accusations or witnesses. He didn't have to go to them at all. The fact that he did, regardless of when, that itself shows repentance.
Those elders are nothing but a bunch of judgemental assholes. One way or another, that'll come back to them!
Hang in there,
Mike.
((((((( Lucia ))))))))
I'm sorry that your family is being made to suffer over human judgement. I agree with Bendrr that this should have only been between your parents (it's their marriage after all), and don't understand why the elders couldn't see true repentance in your father's confession. After all, he would never have been "caught" would he? I would understand if they removed his so called privileges, but to disfellowship someone who confesses and asks for forgiveness is vile.
Take care of yourself, you are in for a storm when you get home. But we will be here to help and support you as much as we can.
Happyout
Dear Lucia,
there is a scripture that is more popular outside the Borg than inside it...somewhere in Kings I think , that talks about the 'small still voice' of Holy Spirit. It is about how god or the Universe or whoever you want to call it communicates with us. Alot of times it is a small still voice in the back of our minds or in our hearts or guts that tells us what is right and what is wrong and what to do...
For me I was so entrenched in the JW life that the small still voice started to scream. Then when I didn't pay attention to that it had to smack me upside the head with a 2X4. My awakening was similar to your father's experience. In one day my father who had partaken since I was 12yrs old and was an elder since the whole elder thing started...was disfellowshipped. Then, some 10 yrs later it was my turn to lose my pioneering in one fell swoop that left me shocked and shaken, since I had done nothing and was the victim in the whole mess. It hurt both times, very very badly. I was so lost and confused and in a panic. But I know now on the other side of this that I would have never left if it had not happened, I had ignored the small still voice for too long. I know you may not want to hear this right now, but it may turn out to be the best thing that could have ever happened. It may save your whole family.
I hope for all the best for you and your family. Listen to Nina, she is an expert.
Ravyn
((Lucia))
Oh, how I feel your pain I was never an elder, but I was on the receiving end of or involved with several committees. My experience is much along the same lines as what the others here have said: there is no rhyme or reason. [Other stuff deleted and sent p/m]
Six relects my feelings better than I could say myself:
Sorry for your troubles, Lucia. I know the feeling of wanting the organization to treat your family righteously and caringly, even though you know they don't treat anyone that way. It's a frustrating feeling. But give your family members some credit. You were raised a witness, and saw through it, and survived and hopefully thrive... they can all survive a df'ing, whether it changes their belief or not. Perhaps you'll be able to show them how unimportant it all is to a normal person?((Lucia))
