by Maverick 57 Replies latest social relationships
maverick, good points. my problem is, i don't have two clues of the dating/relationship game either. is it bec i am ex-jw? maybe it's not a male/female problem as much as it is that some of us just don't know how the whole thing works cause we didn't go through the high school dating rituals? i personally have to work hard to resist 'taking the whole thing too seriously'.
whaddya think?
From reading all through this I can at least say I'm not the only guy who feels really clueless lots of times about "what women want." And who's missing subtle clues as to her meanings.
Maybe part of the problem is we tend to assume all women speak with one voice. It ought to be obvious they don't, but....
Me, I tend to be the type of guy who considers questions that really aren't that interesting to others, for example. To give you an idea how awkward that can be, remember how difficult it is talking to a non-JW about your experiences in the Society? I have that same gulf mentally with many people at work, and with women.
The relevance of that to the thread title? I could be getting totally straight treatment from women, she might find me fascinating, and yet I'd miss it because of their subtlety.
And being an introverted type...non-drinker, mainy because of my diabetes...homebody...I feel very out of touch and not on the same frequency with women, as far as being "the type of guy" women'd find interesting. Very shy around them, which doesn't help. I'd have a terrible time if I had to begin dating again. So it's not a case of me being either manipulated (or otoh being the game player) so much as it is a feeling of mismatch between what's sought and what I'd have to offer. Reason tells me if I were dating again there'd be someone desiring those qualities I mentioned earlier...experience before I got married says otherwise. Still does, in social situations, which can be a "low key" dating situation.
So while I don't consider myself a "player" and I wouldn't be trying to con a woman into the sack, I probably missed many opportunities to meet someone because I was ignorant of her true meaning. I ended up blindsiding myself. I can't blame women for that.
I hope this makes sense. I know what I want to say but I'm not sure it's coming through.
Why would we want to always get straight answers out of women?
Trying to figure them out is one of the great pleasures of life!
Expatbrit
I don't know if it just a J-dud problem with relationships, but the rules in dud-land don't help at all once you are on the out side. The information I wanted to share comes from the web site www.doclove.com, This guy is the real deal. He knows his stuff. After reading his information I am at ease with the ladies. Not bitter or confused, I just watch with amusement the smoke and mirrors. Guys if she likes you she will make it easy, if not you will walk away confused! Women know what they are doing, turn the 'sound' down and watch her feet. Bottom line the encounter, put your ego on hold and listen to your gut feelings. The Doc has a free article every Thursday, check it out. Ladies too, of course...This should start a whole new round! Maverick
Ah, I'm so in tune with my feminine side!I pick up all the undercurrents and stuff, women just never stop communicating on so many levels, it's easy peasy to follow, and boy oh boy, I can, at times be so bitchy!
Englishgal.
Ya great poof! *LOL* Sincerely, District Overbeer
Women are from Venus and men are from Mars...
That could explain this thread.
Personally.... I give straight answers....in plain Venusian English.
Then it gets translated into Martian English...
Meaning gets lost in translation...
((((Hugs))))
ESTEE
Better yet go to: www.sosuave.com they have Doc Love articles and every other guru on the subject!
Merc'
