by Brummie 27 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
If by not saying anything it would mean more harm then keeping quiet.
I can proudly say I have next to never broken confidence. One time was my youngest son's. I was scared that he would not trust me again, but it worked out for the best and he still confides in me when he has something serious he needs to sort out. Things worked out better then I thought. BUT, it isn't something I take lightly at all. I would need a serious reason to open my mouth about something someone trusted me with.
Changed my mind again! Need to go talk to the people involved first.
Hhmmmm, curiousity is burning deep in the heart of Texas. Perhaps some sleuthing is in order.
When it adversely effects an innocent or involves criminal activity or drug abuse.
Does this mean your going to squeel on me for smoking weed you bastard!
Gumby
lol @ the bastard.
BT, Out of 14 counsellors I know personally, 13 of them said they would not break confidentiality on a client who said he was a paedophile. I'm still convincing myself that I must be misunderstanding what I heard, though I was right there and feeling highly strung that they were all wrong. Anyhow I deleted it because I need to go speak to them again and see if they have thought it through and come up with a different conclusion. The discussion had me steaming through the ears.
There, I shoulda left it up.
Brummie
Laws are usually built with common sense in mind. The Child Welfare Act in Alberta compels consellors (as well as others) to report abuse. To neglect to do so is a violation of the Child Welfare Act. I imagine there are similar laws elsewhere.
Jgnat, I totally agree, I'm surprised how easily a group can bend towards the paper work and overlook common sense. They must have been moved by peer pressure rather than common sense, just because the first one said he would not break the confidentiality others may have felt inclined to follow along, maybe it was an exercise that everyone missed the point too.
Either way I sat there disgusted at 13 peoples stupidity at trying to appear proffesional.
Brummie
I am not a trained counsellor, but I have had my share of peers come to me for advice and some of it was very serious. It has always been my personal standard that if someone confided in me something that was criminal or hurtful to themselves or others(and I perceived it as a real threat--my judgement) then I would tell them I could not keep their confidence and give them a reasonable time period to make it straight themselves. If they did, it went no further from me, unless I was subpoenaed. If they did not clear it up properly(again my judgement) then I went to the appropriate authorities with the information.
I always let them people confiding in me know this right off the bat. And I always trust my own judgement and have never second guessed myself about any of the decisions I made in those circumstances.
I had one party of a set of two couples who had been dear friends for years come to me and tell me that they had had sex with the other's spouse. I was asked to keep it a secret from my husband. But he was also indirectly involved in this(being related to one of them) and when he guessed at an obvious situation I did not mislead him into thinking otherwise. I did not have to tell him, but I would have if he had not figured it out himself. He approached the other party and together we spoke with them both. The other party expressed supreme regret and guilt and wept and it was obvious that this person was in bad shape over this. However the one who first approached me was not and even tried to use the situation in a manipulative, emotionally blackmailing way. We told the one who was sorry to tell their spouse and get it worked out before the other one blew the whistle and it was worse than what had really happened. That person did. As a result the spouse was very upset at my husband and myself for not telling them. They still are, and this broke up a friendship between the couples of many years, separated their children who grew up together and even made it impossible for my husband and myself to stay friends with them. It was heart breaking. But it was not our place to do the telling. If the guilty spouse had not told, yes I think we would have--but only if the situation continued. Otherwise I would not have told, it was one stupid act of passion under the influence of alcohol and it caused more harm because of the timing than if it had never been told.
hope you all can follow that. it is confusing without the names. but I still feel a certain obligation to keep it confidential, a family member was involved.
Ravyn
Trust must be earned and the worthy will honor it!
Mr. Kim
