Miss You Mom

by donkey 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • donkey
    donkey

    I miss you so much I just can’t say how much I hurt inside. I think back to when I was just a child and how you gave me the food from your plate when there wasn’t enough for each of us to have dinner. You always put me first, your joy in life came from seeing me happy, knowing I was safe and I had everything you could give me.

    I miss doing my homework with you, the way you taught me to draw and how much confidence you always had in me and I still remember how you gave and gave until you had nothing more to give me. I can never repay you I could never give enough in return. You were the kindest person I ever knew. As I sit here and look at your photo with tears streaming down my cheeks - I never knew when the day would come when I would lose you forever.

    Becoming an adult was all I ever wanted to do when I was growing up. I never thought about why I just knew I wanted to grow up, get married and have kids. Once all that happened and I had everything I thought I wanted, I realized that it wasn't as easy to maintain as I had thought. Now you’re gone and my heart is heavy with such sadness and sense of the most incredible void I have ever experienced in my life.

    Even though I know I will never see you again I just keep telling myself I wish I had told you many more times than I did that “I loved you”. I miss you more with every minute that passes. I don't know how it will ever get better. I do know that I promised you that I would take care of myself and continue with everything you taught me.

    Jack

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Yeah. My mothers not a bad mum, Ive decided. Shes self serving and greedy and glittzy, but shes there, always. My old man is dead. I dont have a human feeling for him or his memory. A true shame.

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Hey Jack, that was very kind, thoughtful and very LOVING.

    That would make any mother, proud.

    So sorry for your loss (((Donkey))) - but it was so loving to dedicate a thread to her. That says "I Love You Mom" perpetually. What a lovely way to do it too.

    Best wishes Donkey, and you continue to live in her legacy: taking care of yourself, and remembering everything she taught you.

    Looks like you are doing, just that.

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    ((Jack))

    I've yet to face the pain you're now in.

    My heartfelt sympathies.

    Craig

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    Sending my condolences on the loss of your Mom. So sorry (((Donkey)))

  • donkey
    donkey

    Thanks for your thoughts.

    To clarify something...

    My Mom has not passed on yet. However she lives in a different country (far away from where I live) and has advancing Alzheimers. She visited me and left 2 days ago to return home. I don't know that I will see HER again (even if I do see her the chances are high that she may not even recognize me ).. In fact it is likely that I just said good bye for the last time...as though she has had a premature death and I am struggling to deal with it so I wrote what I wrote this evening.

    Jack

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Hey Donkey (Jack), check your PM when you have a moment.

    Thanks, take care. Thanks for sharing - I can relate.

  • shamus
    shamus

    I just can't imagine what you are going through now. One day I will......

    It is a sad day for you, and I am so sorry. I know that your mom still loves you right now, wherever she is..... Your words to describe her are beautiful.

  • JH
    JH

    Mothers are the best. They always love their children first and themselves second. Sorry you're feeling this way.

  • BeautifulGarbage
    BeautifulGarbage

    J,

    Sorry for your pain. Those memories growing up, with a loving, attentive mother, though bittersweet, will bring you comfort in the passing years.

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