Jurs,
I enjoyed your post. Good for you. I am so glad that you can feel better about yourself now.
I wish the best for you and your family.
Chester
since i sent my DA letter
by jurs 24 Replies latest jw friends
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thinkers wife
Good for you Jurs,
Sounds like you did what you had to do. I wrote a one line letter of disassociation. "I no longer want to be known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses".
I didn't want to be disfellowshipped either. I wanted it to be on my own terms. I could feel the noose closing around my neck. I lived with Thinker from April until June of 2000. And there were rumors going around the congregation, that I had moved. I have no guilt or regret about my choice to live with Thinker. We have been married since June 30, 2000. But I didn't want them to put me out. I wanted to make that choice, even though it is possible I could have gotten away with it.
The other big reason was that I had made the comittment to the org. albeit at too young of an age, thirteen. And I did not want to be hypocritcally carrying around a name I had agreed to honor.
It was very freeing to me in so many ways to write the letter and make a clean break. The wording of my one sentence was also very important to me! I am glad I did it. Although I am still living with the reprocussions.
TW -
crittersitter
yay...glad you had the guts to do it. i just faded out..stopped going and told those wonder loving elders to leave me alone..how dare they come by 2x per year!!!
am i wrong in thinking that droves of jw are leaving the borg, or is it just all this openess on line?
i'm glad folks are waking up -
Latte
Jurs,
I feel so happy for you. I can certainly relate to the bit about where you told that sister a thing or two. I had a clearing of the air similiar to yours, I also felt that the relationship improved....it's really not healthy to be holding thoughts back when you know somethings WRONG.....so many JW's are stuck with that, they cannot utter their doubts.
I too, am doing my best to avoid being D'fed due to friends and family. If I was D'fed for an unjust reason ie. reasoning that the borg is WRONG,then I would really get angry........I would go out of my way to tell other JW's the TRUTH.
Does anyone else feel like this? What would you do? Print pamphlets etc?
Latte
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Yerusalyim
jurs,
Welcome home! Life is indeed worth the living. Good job on the exit, and how you handled Sister Pioneer.
You said something interesting, you mentioned not having trust in religion at all now.
This is a common and very sad side effect of Dubism. More Dubs end up agnostic when they leave the Borg. I hope that you don't loose faith in God and that you can find a good church home for yourself. How's the hubby with all this????God Bless
Yeru
YERUSALYIM
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespere: Hamlet -
JT
3rd son--thanks for the post
i find that many are not fully ready for what follows after they send their letter and they have to suffer in my opinion NEEDLESSLY emotionally.
the same way you became a jw slowing and over a period of time is in my exp the way you have to leave wt---
dropping a few wt fAIRY TALES and picking up REAL lIFE THINGS - college - kids- job advancement - hobies YES A REAL LIFE
YOU CAN go Cold turkey but i have seen it so many times it is very painful- while doing it gradually gives one time to heal - make new friends and adjust to ones new life
and then at that point if one wants to send in a letter they are mentally prepared
just my thoughtsjames
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reagan_oconnor
I haven't sent a letter b/c IMO, that is an indicator that I accept their belief in DF/DA and respect the elder body and the role of the WBTS.
I don't.
Why would I do something that they want, when I don't believe their authority is God-given?
"I'm not a woman to be honked at." -- Maureen O'Hara, The Quiet Man
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JT
path says
. For me, I had the letter written and ready to put in the mailbox,
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and who knows in another 6month or 6yrs you may still send that letter in, but one thing is for sure
now you will be better prepared
and each case is different- if one is the only jw in thier family then they lose nothing, but for some who are 3rd 4th genreation jw life will be very different and they need to understand that so they will not have to go thru more PAIN than they have too
great post
james
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LovesDubs
When we became JWs, they made us write a letter of disassociation to our old churches remember? I never actually did that...and I probably lied about it when they asked me LOL. But thats the way these people think...black and white, right, wrong, good evil...so if you belong to them you cant belong anywhere else at the same time. Hence, if I was going to say to them that I no longer wanted my good name associated with their extremely BESMIRCHED one...I had to do it formally. Then if they said that I was a Jehovahs Witness to anyone else, they would be flat out lying. I would have legal proof that my name and their name were as far apart as the poles are. And thats where I WANTED them to be. I also knew that given my knowledge of their treachery at the time, that I would not be 5 minutes out of the gate and I would be up on apostacy charges and DFd anyway because I was VERY verbal from the get go...so I didnt want them to have the PLEASURE and it would BE a pleasure you know...of SCANDALIZING my name all over the hall. I know how the "apostates" were talked about where I am from and scum on mold on rat droppings would be held in higher regard. Disassociating I suppose is scum on mold on rat droppings on a rat standing on a DVD LOL :)
Now I talk to my relatives ANYWAY about what I know. The shunning runs only in one direction. I am under NO obligation to keep my mouth shut. I can talk to anybody I damn well please thank you. And they have the option to not listen, but its HARD not to hear some of it hehehehe
That letter is always a personal circumstance thingy...follow your heart.
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metatron
You go James!!!!
My feelings exactly! Why not continue to drag their wretched
enterprise down when you can? Free some more slaves!metatron