Do JW couples really have better relationships?

by Latin assassin from Manhattan 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gopher

  This was a good point:

  If The mounting pressures of day to day life are not enough they also have all the pressures of being a jw.

  To the extent that the couple devotes themselves to the endless demands of the Watchtower Society on their lives, it tends to take time and energy away from each other. They still are sex partners (hopefully) and life partners, but the time spent 'putting on appearances' and keeping one's reputation going in the congregation takes its toll.

  Also, you know that JW's always put the organization ahead of friendships. You are even expected to "rat on" your spouse if you discern any disloyalty to the organization in them.

  I heard it said from the assembly platform that the popular saying "blood is thicker than water" does not apply in the families of Jehovah's Witnesses. In other words, family comes second to your relationship with Jehovah, erm, the organization.

  So to the extent that they are "devout" JW's, to that extent their friendships with other JW's are conditional, and even their relationship with their own spouse is conditional.

  I know, I've seen it!
• 

  simplesally

  I think that the pressure to "rat" out your spouse or force them to go to the elders once they have confided in you, in fact, makes the marriage partners keep a sort of distance from each other. One can never tell their inner-most desires to go out with worldly friends, go to forbidden movies, tell their spouse they smoked a cigarette when they had a few glasses of wine, ....... you just have this part of your self that you continually have to keep to yourself. When my ex was smoking, doing drugs, the first thing I did was call the elders....... duh. No wonder he kept secrets from me.
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  Have you ever dated someone and gone through all the motions (flirting, dating, sex) and then found out he/she was a JW after they had a 'Coming To Jesus' and realized YOU were no good for their 'spirituality'?

  Latin, this question could be a whole new thread of its own, really. And I'm sure you would get tons of responses, but from the other side of the story. I was JW in high school and I messed with some guys minds because I was so confused. I mean, I was attracted to them, I really liked them, I wanted to date them and I did secretly...then guilt would kick in and I would tell them I could never speak to them again.

  Those poor guys didn't know what was going on! And as likely as not I would change my mind a week later!

  This went on until finally I was able to not feel guilty, and I started living my life as I liked.

  I am really sorry if you are going through this heartbreak. If you are, it has nothing to do with you at all... JWs are really confused in the head. Poor things.

  -LisaBObeesa
• 

  cat1759

  NO!!!

  There is no way out even if you have been beaten and raped by your husband. Alcoholism prevails behind closed doors, molestations take place because of a lack of sex from their spouses.

  There is no way out unless you want to be disfellowshipped. God hates a divorcing.

  Ok, so the six minute missionary position leads to no natural creativity.

  Of course you can marry virgins most of the time, unless of course the pedophiles got to them first.

  Be warned if you have sex with your spouse and think of someone else, just dont call out the other persons name, you will be before the elders in no time flat, even if you have asked in the past for help because you were being beat up by your husband/wife.

  Cathy
• 

  Tinkerbell4125

  NO I think not.

  I can't imagine CC and I going back to all those f******* meetings and field service and *get to gathers* again!

  Not to mention the *whole oral sex thing*. Sad. Never again folks.
• 

  freein89

  Hmm let me see? Happy marriage in witness land? hmmm

  one person is responsible for all important decisions, no lip from the inferior party, no winners there

  sex is "monitored" certain acts are forbidden (the most fun ones I should add) no winners here either

  marry with no experience whatsoever nope nothin here either

  get all advice for relationships from one source- mmm no good

  no family celebrations, like building traditions for holidays or the birth of children into the union-not good
• 

  sxybrwneyes

  No, definitely not. young JW couples cant even really get to know each other and find out if they can be compatible with each other because they are not allowed to be alone together without a chaperone, and they get married too young just because they want sex. And they also dont have alot of choices as young eligible brothers and sisters are slim pickins and by the time you are about 25 they are all married already

  I had alot of my Jw friends get married way too young and most of them got divorced or they stayed together for the sake of the truth and they ended up miserable and hating each other, but of course they put up a front at the KH.

  I am soooo glad I did not marry a JW brother
• 

  micheal

  I can honestly say knowing so many jw married couples, because I had been in 10 different cong's. It would seem to me without a doubt more than half are unhappy. They feel so locked into something that in most cases will never work out( speaking of the unhappy ones), plus they probably have some animosity towards the org for making them stay in an unhappy marriage. That really is the height of selfishness when both married partners want out for their own sanity and happiness and they org will not let them.
• 

  nobody told me

  Too many times JW marriages are based on the wrong things. My ex-wife was from a family of position chasers. I went from an elder-pioneer {good marriage material} to strugggling with my field ministry, there was always pressure from here family that we weren't doing enough. Finally after becoming a irregular publisher, she left and went to her spiritually strong family and demanded a divorce based on endangering her spirituality. What a crock of shit. The fact is we both made a mistake and married the wrong person. The only thing in common that we had was that we were JW's. You believe that is the most important thing, lies lies, lies. The most important thing is that you have unconditional love. That means loving your mate and children more than the imperfect WTBTS.