Disappointed not disfellowshipped.

by scotsman 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  scotsman

  Thanks for your replies. I think I just needed to hear people say, “yeah, we know what that’s like”.

  I left the org 2 years ago and have a fantastically supportive group of friends, and only 4 or 5 who are Witnesses. The fact that they have remained close is testament to the strength of our friendships but I think that me being disfellowshipped would have stretched them too far. You’re right that my mum was torn in making this decision and is hugely relieved that I’m not disfellowshipped, but I still can’t talk to her about it. Ideally I’d like her to apologise but that would negate her principled action so I don’t expect it. Over time we’ll know doubt salvage something of our relationship, but only when my hurt has subsided enough for my compassion and sympathy to resurface.

  Thanks again for all your kind words.

  s.
• 

  teejay

  I agree with garybuss.

  Your issue isn't with the Watchtower Society. If disfellowshipping is what you want, by the end of the week it can easily be accomplished in a variety of ways.

  Your issue is with your mother. I suspect that's been THE issue for some time. IMO, she tried to use the religion to punish you for your lifestyle. If you got df'd tomorrow, the dysfunctional relationship you have with Mom would be as strong as ever.
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  LittleToe

  Scotsman:
  That sux.
  They certainly know how to add injury to injury, regardless of whether or not you're same blood.
  Following on from Garybuss's statements, it's attempting to use similar control mechanisms to ones they have been trained with.

  Btw, are you busy a week Friday? I'm down your neck of the woods.
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  scotsman

  You're right, the issue is between my mum and me, but it's more a case of her doing the 'right thing' by the WTBTS than using them as an excuse to be self righteous with regard to my lifestyle. I omitted to say that her decision to speak to the elders came as a result of my eldest brother and his wife putting pressure on her and then writing a letter asking a friend in London Bethel for his opinion. He, naturally, thought she should tell the elders and then leave it in Jehovah's hands. Shame, he's a genuinely caring guy.

  Little Toe, I'm in Edinburgh on Friday 1st but leave for Tiree the following day. It'd be interesting to meet up.

  s.

  p.s And hey, if anyone gets to use the 'dysfunctional' label round here it should be me!
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  RAYZORBLADE

  Scotsman: sorry to read about Mum.

  It looks like already, many people have posted, and of course, can relate whole-heartedly to what you've just gone through.

  Sorry mate. It's not easy, and I can't imagine what this does to you at this very moment.

  I hope that this forum, as well as other on-line places, and friends, enable you to remain strong and focused.

  Your partner, I'm sure, is a great source of strength and comfort.

  I don't think there's anything I can say or do.

  Wishing you well. It hurts right now, but it does get better with time.
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  LittleToe

  I'm available that evening and then travelling to see some friends near Skye, the next day.
  I've PM'ed you my cellnumber.

  Look forward to seeing ya

  Meanwhile, I'd agree with Razorblades comment "It hurts right now, but it does get better with time.".